Home (Again)

As the plane was descending into Logan International Airtport, I realized how happy I was to be going home.  Once again I started thinking about the word home.  There's something about being on an airplane that makes me contemplate this word. 

I think it has to do with looking out the window as we fly over the city.  Flying into Boston is familiar.  All of my international journeys had their final end at Boston.  Logan isn't the prettiest or cleanest airport but it's comfortable.  Driving out of the airport is familair too and I enjoy taking in the city while observing what's changed.



Boston (Source)

When I talk about visiting my mom in MA, I often refer to it as home.  It is, afterall, where I grew up.  My mom still lives in the house that we moved into when I was 4.  It's a big, old Victorian that needs ton of work but has lots of charm.  It's way too big for mom alone so she's shut off the top floor.  I knew walking in that things would look different.  They did look different but it's still home.  I'm still comfortable and able to make myself at home. 

 

I'm so thankful that I have two places I call home.  So in a couple of weeks you'll hear me talk about going home and I will be.  To the one I've created with my husband.  I'm blessed and so thankful that I have two places I can call home.

 

Where do you call home?

Do you have more than one place?

Teeth, Part 2

If you missed part one, you can read it here.

Everything seemed fine with the two dead teeth until one sunny summer Saturday in June 2007.  I was bouncing my niece up and down and I went to give her a big bounce and I bit down and….something cracked in my mouth.  Cracking isn’t a normal noise for your mouth so I put her down and asked my mom to take a look.  She said your tooth cracked, right down the middle.  I looked in the middle and she was right.  My dead tooth, the one in the front was cracked.  Whenever I bit down there was pain. 

Maybe I should mention that my family from NH was visiting cause I was leaving on Tuesday for CA where I was have training for a little over a week.  After that I would be in charge of 5 college kids in Viet Nam for 5 weeks.  I was in charge of running a summer camp program and making sure none of them died.  And I was leaving a few days early so I could attend my best friend from college’s wedding.  As a bridesmaid.  Just keep that in mind…

So I managed to deal with the pain till Monday.  I called my dentist and since it was an emergency, they fit me in during lunch hour.   I saw a new dentist and see looked at it and took x-rays.  Because it had been dead for so long it became brittle and cracked all the way up to the root.  A cap would have prevented this from happening (they NEVER told me that!!!) The only thing they could do was take it out.  She tried to take it out but couldn’t.  I was full of Novocain and at one point she had the tooth in pliers and was trying to pull it out.  I had been back there for a couple of hours and finally the receptionist let my mom go back.  She saw the dentist, with a pair of pliers in my mouth trying to pull the tooth out and me with tears running down my face.   She put a stop to what was going on.

The dentist agreed that she couldn’t get it out so she called to the oral surgeon to see if they could squeeze me in.  They could but they were in their other office so we had to drive over there.  No biggie.  While we’re driving the Novocain starts wearing off and my face is throbbing.  Thankfully I got more Novocain once I got there.  They took me back right away but then I could hear some of the techs talking about how they were going to have to stay late because of me.  I was so stressed…I was supposed to be on a plane to CA tomorrow, my face was throbbing and now I had people mad at me.  The tears continued to stream down my face.  Great.  Then the oral surgeon walked in.  It was the guy who had originally done the root canals, the one with no bedside manner.  Lovely…the day just kept getting better and better.  He gave me a bunch of options and told me I should not go to CA or Viet Nam.  I told him I was going and that was that.  So we decided that he would pull the tooth and then pack it with cadaver bone.  He said he would have to let it heal before he could put a post in for an implant.  At that point I didn’t care, I just needed to be able to catch a plane.  I remember the oral surgeon being very unhelpful.  Needless to say I was NOT going to go back to him.

So eventually he gets to work.  He tried a few things but I guess part of the tooth had somehow fused to my jaw bone.  He eventually got it out but not before he had to take a few swings at it with a mallet.  And not a little mallet…it was a good size mallet.  A BIG mallet.  A BIG, RUBBER mallet.  No cool.  But he got the tooth out, packed me full of cadaver bone and stitched it up.  And he wanted to see me on Wednesday. 

So when I got home I called my contact person and told her what happened.  She was so happy that I was still going to go that they no problem with me arriving to Team Leader training late.  I changed my flight to Thursday and tried not to stress about missing training.  After all, I had NO CLUE what I was doing and I was feeling very inadequate. 

With the team at training in CA, June 2007

I got to rest on Tuesday and then had to see the dentist and the oral surgeon on Wednesday.  The dentist made a flipper (or a flapper?  I can never remember…the fake tooth thing to wear so people don’t know you’re missing a tooth) for me to wear.   I LOVE LOVE LOVE my dentist and they were so good to me.  The one with the pliers?  She was let go not long after but the other dentists in the practice are amazing.  So amazing that when the oral surgeon didn’t like how close the flipper was to the gum and he ground it down so it wouldn’t touch my gums, they were mad and made him pay to replace it.  I just pocketed the money cause I wasn’t going to wear the annoying flipper anyway!

I smiled like this a lot before I got used to missing a tooth and was still very self conscious! If you know me at all you know that this is NOT my normal smile.

So off to training I went, still sore and on drugs.  I was nervous and this didn’t help!  My team was great though and took my missing tooth in stride.  I remember learning some dances (like chicken dance) and a lot of them had jumping in them.  Without thinking I would jump along until I started feeling something gritty in my mouth.  Yup, the cadaver bone was coming out.  It was so gross.

With my team in Ha Long Bay, Viet Nam

The summer went well.  I refused to wear the flipper cause I couldn’t talk well with it on and I wasn’t supposed to wear it to eat.  It was easier and more comfortable to not wear it.  It turned out to be a good thing actually.  In Viet Nam many people don’t have great teeth.  There isn’t a high priority on dental health.  I never thought much about it but I had more than one student in the camp program say to  me that I had a beautiful smile even without the tooth and how it made them feel better to know that not all Americans have perfect teeth!  Some of them are very self conscious about their teeth but I was able to help them feel better.  It really wasn’t all about me.  I loved knowing that God used this experience to help others!

And I made back in time for the wedding.  I feel bad cause in all the wedding pictures I’m missing a tooth!  I wore the flipper but I think it looked so bad.  My friend was so gracious and was just happy I was there!  Thankfully you can’t really tell in most of the photos since they are further away.

Missing a tooth and wearing the flipper at the wedding.

And it’s not over yet…at least the worst is over!

Rough Day Update

Thank you friends for all your kind words yesterday on my Rough Day post.  They really encouraged me.  Thank you so much!  Yesterday (Friday) was still a little rough but today and been so much better.  It's amazing how sleep can make things better!

There's also some good news!  As The Man was leaving yesterday after a surprise stop at home, he happened to see the missing pup on the land next door.  We tried to get him but he ran off again.  We were thrilled that we had had a sighting and that he was alive and well though drenched from the rain.  I called his owners and they were nearby.  About 20 minutes later they showed up to look for him again.  They looked for about an hour in the pouring rain.  They couldn't find him but they were happy to know he was still alive and in the area.  I put food out for him to try and draw him back.  They left but they decided to drive up a nearby street one more time to look for him.  It says dead end but is really long and curvy goes pretty far back.  They were back there and saw him!  They jumped out to get him and he started to run away again so they stopped, squatted down and started clapping and saying his name.  He came to them and they got him in the car!  So he is now safe and sound back with us.  His buddy was VERY happy to see him.

The pup that got away, Dante took a little time to adjust to life here but he's doing well now.  He would shake whenever The Man tried to pet him.  Once he got used to him though he was find.  I think we're going to try to take them to the dog park tomorrow.

Dante outside on the lead

Hudson getting some love

Joey eating one of their rawhides

Rough Day

Have you ever had one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days?  I had one yesterday.  For background, you should know that there’s been a serial killer in my town.  There have been three murders and they think this person is responsible for them all.  Then on Wednesday, a 3rd grade boy brought a loaded gun to school and a third grade girl got shot. 

Early yesterday morning around 1am I woke up really hot.  I did what every pregnant women does, go to the bathroom and then headed to the living room to turn down the heat.  Our living room wall that faces out if full of windows and a sliding door so we have a great view of the outlet.  We’re also up above the highway, so we can see if there is traffic or not.  I noticed that on the other side of the highway that a cop had pulled someone over; it was hard to miss the flashing lights.  I didn’t think much of it as it’s not an uncommon sight.  I went back to bed only to be woken up by lots of sirens.  The Man woke up and wondered what was going on.  We fell back asleep and didn’t think about it anymore until this morning.  A huge headline was that a State Trooper was shot and killed.  It was what I saw and we heard early in the morning.  I was shocked.  So much violence! 

Then this morning, when I got to school to sub, I found out that the teacher’s wife that I was in for and gone into premature labor that the doctors were unable to stop.  She gave birth to their son, they baptized him and then had 19 minutes with him before he went home.  She was originally due a little over a week before of me.  While I don’t know the teacher or his wife super well, I do know them and I talked with them every week.  We enjoyed sharing symptoms and encouraging each other.  I had heard about this the night before I went to bed but hearing that it has happened…my heart was (and is) so sad for them.  I can’t even imagine the heartbreak for them.  Even with hope in Christ and knowing that they will see their son again some day….it’s so hard.  I was so touched that they asked how I was doing.  They were concerned for me, as were others at the church and school.  In the middle of their loss they’re concerned about munchkin and I.  The body of Christ is truly amazing.

Then when I got home from subbing all day, my friends were at my house to drop off their dogs.  We’re dog sitting while they’re in the process of moving.  They had to be out of their old house today and can’t get into their new house till Monday.  They’re staying with her parents but can’t take their dogs so I said of course we’ll watch your two dogs!  Everything was great for about two hours.  Then The Man came home.  He had just walked in the door and didn’t even have time to close it when both of their dogs bolted out the door.  He managed to get one back in but the other got away.  I went out to help but the other pup managed to get away.  We walked up and down the road, calling his name with his squeaky ball.  I called my friends and they came back and called his name and looked for him.  They couldn’t find him either.

So as I write this, we still don’t know where the pup is.  His owners don’t seem too worried as this is normal behavior for him.  I’m concerned about what will happen if he doesn’t come back! I feel like a horrible person and a terrible pet sitter.  I let my friends down!

One other little thing that barely registers next to these things but it still has me down is that I dropped my Kindle and it broke.  The screen is cracked and you can’t see the pages anymore.  So now I’m going to need to buy a new one.  Just one more thing!

All of it together was just too much for me and the hormones haven’t helped.  There have been tears and I’m exhausted.  I’m going to enjoy some ice cream and then head to bed.  I’m feeling a little crampy and I think munchkin is telling me I need to rest so I’m going to listen.

How to you cope with a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?

Old School

The radio station I listen to, Spririt 105.3, has been playing some old school music recently and I'm loving it!  They've played my all time favorite DC Talk song a few times.  I've had it in my head so I decided to share with you!

Well, I wanted to share it with you but I can't find it anywhere in the interwebs that will allow me to have it play on my blog. Boo.  If you really want to listen you can go here and watch a video.  I totally understand if you don't want to go...I usually don't.  So I have created a playlist for your listening pleasure of other DC Talk songs...just scroll down.

I have great memories of DC Talk (though I really only enjoyed the CD Jesus Freak).  I LOVED them in high school.  I remember working as a camp counselor and riding back with other counselors from bus duty.  We would have the windows rolled down with DC Talk blaring as we drove the curvy NH roads.  We always started with Jesus Freak.  It's now a classic.  I've seen Newsboys (former DC Talk member Michael Tait is now the lead singer) and Toby Mac in concert since DC Talk broke up and they both did Jesus Freaks.  It was awesome.

The Man and I are huge fans of Toby Mac.  We've seen him in concert twice since getting married and I know we'll see him again!  He puts on a great show.  I've also included some of my favorite songs by him in the playlist.  I hope you enjoy!

Lent

Growing up I didn’t celebrate Lent.  Of course that might be because I didn’t go to church growing up.  We started going when I was in 7th grade.  The nondenominational church my family attended didn’t do much for Lent.  The Christian college I attended didn’t do much either, and neither did the nondenominational church I attended when I returned from Asia.  I’m sure Lent was mentioned but there was never any emphasis on it.  I’m not sure if it it because I lived in the Northeast or if it has to do with the nondenominational bent of my upbringing.  Anywho, Lent didn’t really come onto my radar until I was married.

I married a man who was a Lutheran.  Before we were married we talked over what we believed (more than once) and the big stuff lined up.  The Man grew up ELCA but when he returned to the church after walking away, he became more conservative.  We currently attend a WELS church (think of the two as different denominations under the umbrella of Lutherans).  One thing I appreciate is the liturgical style of worship.  I’m not sure I would have appreciated it growing up but I appreciate it as an adult (that’s not to say that I don’t miss a contemporary style of worship because I do, but that’s a whole other post).  It was here that I was first introduced to the Lenten season.

Starting with Ash Wednesday and ending with Easter, our church does a Wednesday service.  The services are geared for us to focus on the sacrifice Christ made for us.  I love these services.  They have helped me come to appreciate Easter even more.

Our church does not talk about giving something up or adding something for Lent.  But that was a hot question on Twitter yesterday.  Usually I don’t give anything up but it did get me thinking.  Something I’ve been trying to work on is worrying less.  I’m a worrier and it’s gotten worse since I got pregnant. 

There was a time in my life when I didn’t worry so much.  I would love to get back to that mindset and trust in God.  Because when I’m worrying, I’m not trusting God.  I’ve seen him work in my life and in the lives of family and friends and I know I can trust him, I just don’t.  I worry instead.  There are times that I can feel it draining the joy out of me.  I don’t want that.  I want to trust again. 

So this Lenten season I’m going to give up worrying.  I can hear you laughing now!  When I start to worry and realize it (or have it pointed out to me) I’m going to do what I should be doing.  I’m going to pray, reach for my bible or meditate on scripture.  I’m going to take the next few days and put together some verses on trusting God and worrying so I’ll have them to read over, think about and meditate on.  I’ll try to remember to share them with you!

Are you giving up/adding something for Lent?  What?

Teeth Part 1

I’ve had several hits on my blog by people looking for info about missing teeth, implants and fake teeth.  I’ve never told my whole teeth story (I gave a condensed version on the post 64) so for those with inquiring minds, here’s the whole story.

Background:

I guess you could say my teeth adventure started when I was 9.  I was riding my bike and grumpily wearing my helmet.  I was riding out of our driveway and instead of staying on the pavement I rode up the grassy embankment like I had done a dozen times before.  This time I fell and hit my front right tooth on the sidewalk, cutting my lip in the process.  There was tons of blood but I managed to not get any on the floor as I ran into the bathroom…I remember be proud of that.  Mom took me to the dentist and he told me I killed the tooth.  Killing a tooth=a root canal.  The root canal happened and I never really thought much about it after that except that every once in a while the dentist would mention that the tooth was gray and did I want to do something about it?  It was gray but I didn’t think it was very noticeable.  And since doing something about it meant putting a cap on it, I was ok leaving it as is.  They told me, more than once, that the cap was cosmetic.  A different dentist later on told me I should have a cap put on but never told me why.  This is important, as it comes into play later.

Fast forward a few years to when I was 12ish.  I think it was the summer before 7th grade.  My cousin was visiting from CA and I went on a Whale Watch with my Aunt and my cousin…other might have been along but I don’t remember.  I do remember that it was dark as the boat was pulling it, there was a thunder and lightening storm and I had a toothache.  It just kept getting worse.  It got so bad that the right side of my face started to swell.  It got pretty big.  Mom decided that that was bad and off to the dentist we went.  It turns out that the root canal had some kind of infection.  So they put a wick in to drain it…basically they put some gauze in my gums.  The good news is that it worked and my face returned to normal.  The bad news is that the infection ate into the bone and killed the tooth to the right of it.  Guess what that means?  If you guessed a root canal, you were right!  Cause dead tooth=root canal. 

July 2000 with my two dead teeth and my two day old nephew

So now I’ve had two root canals.  I still didn’t think much about them until I was living in China in 2002.  Then I had what looked like a zit on top of the scar on my gums from the drain.  It was a little hard to do anything about since I was living in China so I waited until Mid-Year. While I was in Thailand I went to the dentist.  He said it was an infection and that he could take care of it.  Due to my schedule and the fact that I didn’t want to have oral surgery in another country without my mother, I decided to wait.  Yes, I was 22 by that time but oral surgery (to me!) is a big deal and recovering in a hotel room just didn’t seem like fun.  I had great friends that would have taken good care of me but I wanted my mom.

With my friend’s grandma at a Starbucks in Beijing, 2004. Still have two dead teeth.

So I waited till I got home and I went to an endodontist.  He was AMAZING even if he did cut open my gums and clean out the root canal while I was awake.  All I felt was pressure.  I didn’t love the guy who had done my two root canals…he was not very nice and could use a little work on his bedside manner.  But this guy?  I would go back to him in a heartbeat if I needed another root canal.  He was so good.  The part that hurt the most is when he removed the stitches. 

Memorial Day, 2007 with two dead teeth that in matter of months would be no more…Can you see my gray tooth?

Now you know about 1/2 of my oral history.  Aren’t you excited?  Don’t worry, there’s more to come and it’s even more fun!

A preview of what’s to come:

June 2007…only one dead tooth now…

Why I Blog

I started blogging a little less than two years ago.  I started because I thought it would be nice to get into the habit.  Habit for what?  For when we had kids.  A blog would be a great way to keep far away family and friend up to date on our family and how/what our kids were up too. 
Then I found milspouse blogs, lots of them.  I had no idea that there was this category out there.  My blog turned into something else, which was fine with me.  I found a nice little place in this niche of the blogging world and have enjoyed it.
Since the death of my father and finding out that we’re expecting, my blogging has been sporadic.  I think it’s just been a lot to absorb and work through.  I’ve also been working more than when I first started.  I have time to blog but I’m finding that I don’t always have something to say.  I could write a lot about being pregnant but I don’t want my pregnancy to overtake this space.  So I know I had said that I was going to try to post 2-3 times a week.  I’m going to throw that out the window and blog when I have something to share.  I don’t want to just have filler fluff.  There also might be more baby related stuff than I thought…just giving you a heads up!
So I’ll be here.  Sometimes I’ll be here a lot and sometimes I may be MIA for a bit.  As always, if you miss me a lot you can find me on Twitter as @poekitten.

Munchkin

 

We have a modest munchkin on our hands!  It took us a bit to figure out if there was a boy or a girl in there but we think it’s a girl!  The first time we looked she had her foot in her crotch.  Then the tech went to get the doctor and like any good parents, we poked her and tried to get her to move.  When we looked again, she had her legs closed.  But after some prodding the doctor and the tech both agreed that it looks like a girl so that’s what we’re going with!

I’m going to have to get another ultrasound because the placenta is closer to my cervix than they like.  I’m not upset at all cause that means we’ll get to see her again and double check that munchkin is really a girl!  It won’t be for another ten weeks or so but I can’t wait to see how she’s grown!

I must say that technology is amazing!  It was incredible to see munchkin.  We got to see her with her hands by her head (she kinda looked like The Man does sometimes when he’s sleeping!) and her amazing 4 chamber heart just beating away.  She’s about 10 ounces too, which puts her in the 75th percentile.  We have a little porker at the moment.  I was hoping for a small baby…guess we’ll see! We got to see lots of other stuff too but I won’t bore you.

Seriously, what a miracle!  I’m just continuing to wrap my head around the fact that there’s a little one in there growing!  She looked snug as a bug in a rug and that’s just how we want it.

The Good Life

The other day I was listening to my Taylor Swift Pandora station (I'm not ashamed to admit that I love me some Taylor Swift!) when the song Good Life by OneRepublic comes one. Now I'm not going to lie, the first thing that ran through my mind was the Disney Commercial. I'm already daydreaming about our next family vacation to Disney with munchkin. We were going to wait till munchkin was 4 or 5 but I'm not sure I can wait that long. The trip might happen at age 2 or 3 cause I'm just that impatient. But I digress...

I just stopped and listened to the lyrics. It's such a catchy song; I love the beat! My favorite part is the chorus:

Oh this has gotta be the good life  

This has gotta be the good life 

This could really be a good life, good life 

 Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight 

 Like this city is on fire tonight 

 This could really be a good life 

 A good, good life

It got me thinking...I have a good life.  A GREAT life actually.  I have:

A family, immediate and extend that love me.

A husband that tells me on a daily basis that he loves me...and backs it up with actions

A house with heat and food

4 furbabies that love me unconditionally

A munchkin growing snug and warm inside

3 part time jobs that I enjoy

A God who loves and died for me

Money to cover our bills and expenses...we're not rich but we're ok

So while I don't have everything I want, a huge house, the newest electronic toys, yearly vacations to exotic destinations...what I do have makes me rich beyond measure.  For that, I am so, so thankful.

 What's good about your life?


Linking up with Goodnight Moon

Excitement

We’re so excited for Friday, kinda like a kid is excited for Halloween and Christmas combined.  Wondering what’s so special about Friday?  Well, about mid-morning The Man and I will be moseying over the Navel Hospital for an ultrasound.  I’ll be almost 19 weeks and we’ll be finding out if munchkin is a boy or a girl. 

Before munchkin came along, I had wanted a boy first…both of us did.  But once there was an actual munchkin I realized that I wasn’t thinking of munchkin as a little boy.  I was thinking that munchkin was a girl.  I think it was helped along but a few dreams I had of a girl.  Ever since I’ve just thought that we’re having a girl.

The Man remains convinced that munchkin is a boy.  It will be great to find out and see which one of us is right since one of us will be!

I’m wondering what YOU think! 

Do you think munchkin is  girl or a boy?

And in case you’d like some more info to help make an “informed” decision, let me tell you how I fit with two old wives’ tales.

1.  The old wives tale (from what I’ve found on the internet) is that a heartbeat over 140 is a girl and below is a boy.

Munchkin’s heartbeat was between 150-160 the second time we heard it and was 148-150 the third time.

2.  “They” say that carrying high is a sign of a girl and carrying low is a sign of a boy.

I’m carrying munchkin low.  I feel like I have a big stomach pooch now.  It still not very visible under clothes (which is why you haven’t gotten any photos yet!)  but I’m hoping that by 20 weeks I’ll be showing.  Then you’ll get photos, I promise!

And if you’d like to take a guess at names, feel free.  We’re three deep, complete with middle names, on each side.  We do know our #1 for each so that’s what we’ll be going with.  I’ll even give you a few hints:

1.  Both names are biblical.  Boy name is from the NT while the girl name is from the OT.

2.  While neither is super common, I have NEVER met a female with the name we have chose.  I haven’t met very many of the boy name but they are out there!

3.  Middle names are family names…his side for the boy, my side for the girl.

Any guesses for names?

Love Story

So I’ve seen this meme going around that thought it would be fun to fill it out.  A lot of the info I’ve shared before and can be found in the Our Story section but hopefully there’s something new.

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?

We met in person for the first time in May 2008 and we’ve been together ever since.

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}

We met at the Providence Place Mall in Providence, RI.  It was early…about 10 am.  We were going to eat lunch and then see a movie but once we were together, we realized that it was too early to eat lunch.  So we saw the movie first.  We both laughed about how crazy it was to sit in a dark theatre with someone you barely knew but we did it anyway.  After that we had lunch at Dave and Busters.  By the time we were done eating and playing games, we weren’t ready to have our date end.  So we walked around the mall and then we walked around Providence.  And because he had never had Dell’s frozen lemonade we got some.  Our date lasted 6 hours!  He walked me to my car and gave me a big hug after we made plans for the next weekend.  I got in my car and I couldn’t get rid of the smile on my face.  I remember thinking that he might be the one…something I NEVER though or said!  I was smitten and couldn’t wait to talk to him again (which I did later that day!)

3. If married, how long have you been married?

We’ve been married two and half years.  It’s flown by!

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?

We got married at a country garden in MA.  It was small; we had about 70 guests.  Even now we say that it was perfect, even with the hitches that happened.  The day WAS perfect and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way!

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!

We’re boring.  We call each other baby and babe.  We rarely use each other’s first names…in fact, I use his first name when I can’t get his attention!  It just about always works too.

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.

Only 3?!  Ok…I love how excited he is to be a daddy.  He’s going to be a great one.  He is already taking great care of munchkin and I.  I love how hard he works and how important his sobriety is to him.  I also love how excited he gets when he’s talking theology.  He love C.S. Lewis and loves to talk about what he’s reading.  I’m blessed to be married to a man that hungers after God.

7. Tell us how he proposed?

A friend had won a gift certificate for two for a Sunset Cruise in Newport, RI.  She wasn’t going to use them so she gave them to me.  It was August and the fact that he was moving to WA in less than a month was very much on my mind, as was the fact that a deployment was looming.  I wanted a romantic evening, something to remember while he was gone.  We were unofficially engaged, meaning that we knew we were getting married and we had told other people but I didn’t have my ring yet.  I knew it was coming as he promised to propose before he left.  I wasn’t expecting it this night because I thought it was predictable.  

He drove up from CT to my place in MA.  He was late and when he got there he told me he had news and that I had better sit down.  I remember looking at him and feeling a little panicky.  The thought of “I hope he doesn’t propose to me in my kitchen!” also went through my head.  Thankfully he didn’t propose but he told me he got his orders and that he didn’t get a boomer like we were expecting…instead he was assigned to a fast attack.  I know that that means NOTHING to you non-sub people, but basically each kind of sub had a certain job to do.  The boomer schedule is about 3 months out and month home and is often predictable.  A fast attack schedule is anything but predictable and often have 6-9 month deployments. 

We hopped in the car and discussed what this would mean for us.  It wasn’t the end of the world but it did take up a lot of the conversation.  We walked around Newport and then boarded the ship.  We sailed around the harbor and enjoyed the moment.  As the sun was setting, he got out his phone and started playing with it.  He handed it off to someone, which I thought was weird.  Then he got down on one knee and proposed.  I was in shock said yes.  I was also a little tipsy from the complimentary champagne.  Everyone on the ship clapped and the crew opened another bottle of champagne for us.  They gave us the cork after writing the name of the ship and the date on it.  I have it, along with a picture of us and our tickets in a shadow box in our living room.

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?

He’s more of a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy and that works for me!  Last year he got me flowers and candy even though I told him he didn’t have too….I just wanted the candy after V-Day when it was 50% off.  What can I say, I like a deal!

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?

While I like both, I prefer to pop a movie in and snuggle on the couch.  Unless we’re in Ocean Shores, then there’s nothing better than roasting hot dogs over a beach fire while watching the sun set!

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?

I’d love to travel with The Man.  I have a long list of places I’d like to go (we agree on most of them!) and on the top of my list includes Tahiti, Viet Nam, Cambodia, Thailand and China.  Turkey, Greece and Luxemburg are also on the list.

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.

I think we’re going to go out to dinner.  We normally just stay home but since this is our last Valentine’s Day just the two of us, we’re going to go crazy.  For us, going out to dinner is going crazy!  Well, not really, but it will still be fun.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?

Time with The Man.  He might get my flowers and/or candy but he doesn’t have to.  I know he loves me.  And he surprises me at random times with flowers.  Not too often…I like the surprise of knowing that he was thinking of me.

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.

Commitment and communication.  I think you need both to have a strong, healthy marriage.  I would also say that you shouldn’t fear the hard stuff.  It’s working through the hard stuff and growing closer that gives depth to a marriage. 

14.  Show us a picture of what love means to you.

Wives of the Military

WARNING: This is rant, fueled by pregnancy hormones, a headache and a desire to have The Man home.  However, I’m a big girl and can take whatever comments you want to throw at me!

A post by a newbie blogger was brought to my attention by a friend on Facebook the other day.  While I hate to give her the traffic, you going to read it in her own words is way better than me trying to summarize it.  If you haven’t read it yet, you can click here to get to the blog post.  I’m writing a response here on my blog because after 12 comments, most of which were negative, she turned them off.  I’m guessing she couldn’t take the heat but I can’t be sure.  Anyway, on with my thoughts…

If I had been able to comment, this is what I would have written:

I am very sad to see this post. As an active duty Navy sub wife, I think it's much better to be supportive of one another instead of tearing each other down, regardless of your branch of service. Each branch has different missions and purposes...and each are needed. I have reserve friends and the things they experience with a deployment are the same as what I and other wives experience. Also...it can be just has hard, if not harder, to go back to a civilian job after being in the sandbox for a year. They're juggling a lot and they deserve credit for that. Being in the National guard or Reserve DOES NOT make them less of a person or less valuable to our country.


I hope that once you experience a deployment, field training or just something MORE than recruiting duty you'll have more compassion for the men and women who serve with the other active duty branches, the Army National Guard, the different State Guards and the different Reserve branches. I hope it gets you off your high horse and helps you see that as wives, we're all in this together.


Also, isn't it a bit of a double standard to complain about wives wearing their SO's uniform and then do it yourself? You have no right to complain about something and then do it yourself.


Ok, ok, I pulled a bit of branch rank there in the beginning but I wanted her to know I was a fellow active duty wife.  Plus, I’m wondering how much of “real” army life she has experienced.  And by “real” I mean deployments, field trainings, duty nights, and times when she can’t get in touch with her husband.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say….she hasn’t experienced much.  So she’s basing her superiority on the fact that she’s a wife of six months who has only experienced recruiting.  I  HOPE that if she had experienced a deployment she would have more sympathy/compassion/empathy for those who who are/have been deployment.  A deployment is a deployment is a deployment, from 3 months to 15 months or longer.  No way around it deployments SUCKS, no matter what branch you are.

I think what bothered me the most was the level of disrespect to the soldiers and families in the National Guard, State Guards and Reserves.  I know she doesn’t mention all those branches but I’ve included them since they aren’t active duty and I feel can be included in what she’s saying.

Now, as an active duty wife, I have NO IDEA what it’s like to be the wife of a guard or reserve member.  I am however, friends with a few through the bloggy world.  Bloggers like Chambanachik and Mowenackie (who had been on a blogging sabbatical) have helped to see into their world and understand what it’s like to be the wife of a guard/reserve member.   They have helped me see that it can be hard to be the wife of a deployed guard/reserve member.  Sometimes they don’t live near the unit so they don’t have an FRG or other support to help them through.  They have the same fears/questions/concerns as the rest of us and often it’s harder for them to get the information they need.  I could go on, but then I would have a short story instead of a blog post.  I encourage you to read their blogs and find out more of what their lives are like.

I do have to say that there is one thing I do agree with her on. Shocking, right?  It’s the wives taking photos in the SO’s (significant other’s) uniform.  My biggest issue?  YOU DON’T WEAR IT, YOUR SO DOES! Just like you don’t wear rank.  So how about we admire our men (or women) in uniform and enjoy taking it off of them?  And once you have them out of it, DON’T PUT IT ON.  Leave it on the floor or draped over the foot of your bed.  You haven’t earned the right to wear it.  You haven’t earned that right until you swear the enlisted oath or are commissioned.  Please show our men and women who have earned the right to wear the uniform that much respect.  I don’t care if it’s your boobs, butt or a baby bump that’s hanging out, it’s not cute.  And for the record, it’s not just National Guard wives who do it…I’ve seen plenty of active duty wives do it too!  Gasp, the horror! 

Imagine that, not all active duty wives are the same or think the same thing…

What do you think?

Edited: I orginally said she had been married 7 months.  I counted wrong; she's been married 6 months.

Also, I would like to add the following as of 4:30, February 10, 2011:

the blog post that is currently up that I referenced in my post is very different from the one I read less than 24 hours ago. When I first read it, it was more harsh and included a part on PTSD that was quite offensive to many people. Also, there were pictures as well as information on the writer and her husband. This information included that they met in November of 2010, that they met while he was recruiting and that they are currently living in her hometown. It also included a few wedding pictures and the date they were married...August 2011 (which means they've been married 6 months, not 7. That's my mistake). She is also due this month with a little girl and had a maternity shot of herself in her husband's uniform. There were other posts as well, including a response from her husband. There has been an apology from the Army: you can see it here:http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/02/command-apologizes-for-anti-guard-comments.html