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| Sierra and her Hubby |
I'm having a great time in MA! I hope to catch you up on my trip when I get home but for now, you get a guest post from my friend Sierra. She blogs over at The Tervo Times. I've been able to meet her when she visits home (for her) for Christmas. I've loved getting to know her in person! She's a Navy brat and an Air Force wife, so she knows a bit about moving around. She's sharing some tips with us about making friend in new places. I hope you find in helpful!
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Since the military likes to move people around, spouses have to learn how to continually make new friends and try to keep the important ones from before.
I'm gearing up right now for a PCS several states away. This isn't my first time moving... I moved around as a Navy Brat, moved away to college, then moved around with the Air Force. Over the years I've gleaned and learned for myself several ways to make and keep friends.
~Be friendly! I know this sounds like common sense, but I'm amazed every time I go someplace how hard that can be. There's a lot of frustrations and stress that come with moving. I'm not always the nicest person during that time. Smile at strangers. Strike up conversations with servers at restaurants, the hotel desk clerk, random people at the commissary. You may not make a friend with them, but they might know of places to go or groups to attend where you can make those friends.
~Go places! When we first moved to Albuquerque I was very lonely. Actually, anytime I first move someplace I'm lonely. Anyway... it wasn't until I started attending our base's PWOC Bible Study that I made real friends. These were women I could hang out with on base, off base, kids with similar ages, and similar points of view. What a blessing! We also found a church and slowly started building relationships there too. Additionally, there are spouse clubs on base you can participate in. It doesn't matter really... find a group or activity where several people meet with similar interests and make connections.
~Communicate! This goes with making AND keeping friends. Acquaintances move from just that to friendship when you spend time with that person. Make the calls. Meet for lunch. Go to the park. Travel together! With active duty spouses there can be a lot of alone time at the house... and the military has given us the opportunity to see the world (or at least the state or surrounding cities where you're stationed). I absolutely treasure finding a fellow spouse (with or without kids) who will gladly come with me on random outings of exploration. In fact, I have a trip planned to go to Santa Fe with a fellow spouse friend and I'm soooo looking forward to it.
~Communicate! Part 2! Being on the move it can be hard to stay in contact with those precious friends you've made. I am one of the first to admit that when I move I do not keep in contact with ALL the friends I had at our last place. Facebook and e-mail are such a godsend! Sometimes a friend will come to mind and I just shoot off a quick message and I'm so tickled to hear back to find out how that person is doing. Don't forget a cardinal rule for milspouses--- send Christmas cards! It may just be a check-in once a year, but it keeps in touch. If you're like me, you send a letter with the main points throughout the year and what life has brought you. It doesn't sound like much, but when you're traveling across country it is nice to know who is in what state in case you need a place to drop by.
~Be a friend! Another that sounds like common sense, but this can be hard. We're needy people. If somebody is reaching out to you, reach back. Once a person gets settled sometimes they just don't feel the need for more "friends"... but you can always do with another. You may be all happy and satisfied, but maybe that person is the one who needs the friend. Smile. Take the 5 minutes to take the phone call. Invite them out when you go places with other friends or even if you're doing some random errand by yourself. Make them feel included. Make them feel like they matter and treat them like they do.
So there ya go. 5 quick tips on how to make and keep friends in the military life. I realize a more introverted person may have some difficulties with some of these, but let me put it out there that if you at least start going places or getting involved with a group SOMEBODY will start talking to you. Trust me... I'm usually that person who starts talking to the shy newbies. Keep yourself open. SMILE. Somebody will become your friend. And if not... then e-mail me and I'll be your friend.
Thanks for the great tips Sierra! Please head on over to her blog and show her some love!
