June 10, 2013

What Was I Thinking?

On Friday night, before I headed out for a few hours with some friends, The Man tells me that he knows what he wants for his birthday.  This is huge because he NEVER tells me what he wants. So I think Awesome!  Then he tells me that he wants to do the Seattle Tough Mudder in October.  In my head I think that he’s crazy and I smile and say sure!  Then he drops the other shoe and says…”I want you to do it with me!”  I just kind of looked at him, stunned.

I don’t think I said anything for a few minutes.  My smile was just pasted on my face.  For those of you who don’t know me, I’m not a runner and I’m horrible out of shape.  I’ve never, ever, ever enjoyed running.  There is no way I could run even a 1/4 of a mile right now.  I couldn’t do it even if there were zombies after me.  The last time I ran was 10 years ago for college cheerleading and then I only did it when it was mandatory.

The Man knows me well and didn’t say much of anything else.  I think I started to come up with objections like “I’m fat and can’t do the obstacles!” and all he said was we have four months to train, I know you can do it and I want to do this with you.  That shut me up.  It also had me agreeing.  I still can’t believe I agreed to do this.  It might kill me. 

Every time I think about wanting to back out, I remember that I’ve had a baby.  I labored with Pitocin induced back labor for 10 hours.  I’ve recovered from a c-section.  I want that baby to not be embarrassed by a fat mama.  I want to be an example to her, of how to live a healthy life.  A healthy life of eating good, nutritious food and of working out to take care of your body.  I’m not that example at the moment.  I can say it all I want but I need to actually do it.  This is making me get my butt in gear in a big way.

I not only agreed for my husband and baby but for myself as well.  I’m not longer comfortable in clothes or in my own skin.  I’m fat.  We eat well most of the time but I need to add activity to my life.  I want another baby but I don’t want GD again.  I want to lose weight to help avoid getting it again.  I also don’t want diabetes and losing weight will help with that too.  I just want to be comfortable in my body again.  So I’m doing this for me.  I’m doing this for The Man.  I’m doing this for Munchkin. 

I have 4 months to get ready.  I’ll be updating you as I go along (like I started the couch 2 5K programs today!  Go me!)  I have a long way to go and I know I can get there, one day at a time.