March 28, 2014

Getting A Positive

Getting a positive result on a home pregnancy test this time around was a lot different than with Munchkin.  Last time it came after two years of trying to conceive and a month and a half after my dad died.  I was on day thirty five of my cycle.  I was so down and positive that we were never going to have a baby.  I took the test late at night and The Man had to convince me it was positive.  Many Waters Getting A PositiveThe line was so faint that I didn’t want to get my hopes up.  I remember saying something along the lines of “who believes these things anyway?  It’s a $1.50 piece of plastic!”  He reminded me that millions of people use them and that they are pretty accurate.  I went to the doctor the next morning (a Thursday) and the test there was negative.  They told me to come back on Monday if my period didn’t come before then. In the meantime I ended up taking five or six more tests before I believed it.  I was crushed when I had some spotting and so relieved when the positive popped at the doctor’s on Monday when I went back.  I paid attention to every twinge, every cramp, afraid that it was something bad.  I held my breath for the entire pregnancy, afraid that we were going to lose Munchkin.  I loved every ultrasound and every time we heard the heartbeat.  Hearing the heartbeat never got old.  Never. 



After getting that first positive I believed, I remember sitting down on the bed holding the test.  I said something about I said something about having a feeling that Munchkin would be born via C-Section.  I’m not sure why I felt that but it turned out to be true. I was afraid of labor, afraid of the pain. I didn’t want the C-section and tried everything I could to avoid it.  It took me close to ten months to recover from that unexpected event.

This time around, it’s been different.  The positive came after 5 months of trying and The Man didn’t have to convince me as much.  I actually tested early because it was hurting to nurse Munchkin.  I kept checking her latch and it was perfect so there had to be another reason for it.  I took two more tests the next day and they were  positive right away.  I didn’t run to the doctor, as I didn’t know who I wanted to see and I knew that it could still come up negative.  Who knew that the tests you buy at the store are often more sensitive than the ones the doctors use?  I really didn’t want a blood test so I was happy to wait.

It’s still early and lot can still happen.  We’re praying and trusting that we’ll have a healthy baby in November.  I don’t have the same fear that I had last time, about the pregnancy or labor.  Even though I had a c-section, I labored for 24 hours (without an epidural.)  Six of those hours were with pitocin contractions, fighting the need to push with no epidural.  While I’m not looking forward to the pain, I feel empowered.  I know I can do it. 

So far, punkin (what we’ve decided to call the new wee one) is kicking my butt.  It amazes me how something so small can wreck so much havoc on my body.  I’m exhausted, have wicked heartburn, and am nauseous if I don’t eat every 2-3 hours.  It still hurts to nurse Munchkin and I’ve started the weaning process.  I have mixed feelings on that.  Hormones are out in full force as well, a evidenced by my meltdown to The Man about feeling guilty about weaning.  And the ugly crying fit I had the other night over the fact that my dad won’t meet punkin either.   It wasn’t pretty.  Some days are worse than others.  On better days I get nervous that something has happened to punkin.  So while I’m worrying less, I’m still worrying.  I ended up in the ER one night last week with sharp abdominal pain.  They were concerned that it could be my appendix.  They did an ultrasound.  Right before the tech told us not to be concerned if we didn’t see anything, as it was early (I was 6w2d) and you don’t always see anything.  Thankfully we saw punkin and the heart was beating.  It was glorious and was beating 112 bpm (which is good for that age.)  I didn’t get to see it for long but The Man was able to watch the whole ultrasound.  I keep reminding myself that one the heart is seen beating, the miscarriage rate goes down to 5%.  I know that it could still happen, but I’m doing my best to trust and not worry.

27 comments:

  1. First off, congratulations :) Secondly, I know it is SO hard not to worry. So so hard, but really, that worry doesn't go away once they're here! I think it gets worse even, so it's a great exercise to already start handing over their little lives to the Lord. Easier said than done! It sounds like everything is going really well though, good luck weaning!

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  2. That's a good news! Congratulations! I can understand the worrying part but I do hope you'd get by just fine, I'm sure you will. I never had epidural too and experienced 24 hours of labor just like you. But like what you said, if you don't look forward to the pain, everything's gonna be better. :)

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  3. I worried about every little thing with my first baby too but now, I'm so much more relaxed. Congrats again!

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  4. Thank you! I'm doing better with Punkin than I did with Munchkin but I still worry. And you're right, the worry doesn't go away!

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  5. I'm just happy I'm worrying less this time. Maybe with my third I'll worry even less:)

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  6. The joy of that positive is a distant memory for me as my children are having children. That moment will always be near the top of my all time joyful moments.

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  7. I am brand new to your blog, I just wanted to say Congratulations!!
    It''s ok to be worried, but do your best to stay positive :)
    A positive mind is a powerful tool!

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  8. So happy for you in this next season. So praying that God eases your fears and worries! I get much encouragement from your writing. Keep up the good work! He who has created a good work in you, will bring it to completion!!!

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  9. Oh my gosh, congratulations!!!!!

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  10. Congratulations! Getting a positive wasn't such a great experience for me; but after getting my daughter i have realized that it was the best thing that ever happened to me :)
    Thanks for sharing you post on mommy moments.
    Marwa @ BlossomFamily.net

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  11. Wonderful post! Thank you for sharing. Found you through Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party.

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  12. Congrats! So happy for you! I can't wait to read follow ups on this.
    Pinned. Thanks for linking up on the Bloggers Brags Weekly Pinterest Party

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  13. Congrats friend!!! Both my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies kicked my butt in that first trimester with zofran for the first 20 weeks for both. Praying you guys have a happy and healthy 9 months with punkin... and so happy we get to be pregnant together -- even if only virtually :)

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  14. Congratulations! For my last two pregnancies, I used the super cheap WalMart tests for 89 cents and they were completely right! Bee took tons out of me while I was pregnant, but she still does! LOL! Thank you so much for sharing this news with Countdown in Style!

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  15. It is pretty awesome when it pops positive and that is what you want! I've heard grandkids are great from my mom...enjoy those snuggles!

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  16. Thanks so much! You're completely right about having a positive mind...I'm doing better:)

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  17. Thanks so much D! I'm doing better with the worry...God is good:)

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  18. Thank you! We were trying so we were super happy to see the positive. I know it's not good for everyone...but having a little one is amazing.

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  19. Thanks! I had m/s until 19/20 weeks with Munchkin but I'm hoping it won't last as long this time, especially since it started so much sooner this time. And yes, it's so fun to be pregnant together:)

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  20. Thanks! I did try one of those cheap tests (early) and it was negative but I think I did it too soon:)

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  21. I almost always buy a few, since they are so cheap. Now that we've moved, my husband is tired of finding them as he unpacks! LOL!

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  22. Coming over from the UBP! CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy! And yes, once you see the heartbeat you can take a deep breath, tho the hormones make relaxing nearly impossible. Your story for Munchkin sounds so much like mine, except we've yet to start for number 2! It took us to years almost to the day to get pregnant with E, and I think because it was so hard to get there I enjoyed every last minute of the heartburn, etc, but like you I imagine with number 2 I'll be less enthralled. Good for you for still nursing, I weaned E at 13 months when I got mastitis. Ick. Class three antibiotics were not going to be on her menu!
    I assume since your husband is a sub vet you've ventured in the Groton, CT area then?

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  23. Thanks so much! Yeah, gotta love the hormones. They are so much worse this time around! I thought it was going to take longer to get pregnant this time so I was shocked when the test went positive! I was just counting months until we could talk to the Dr. about it. I was giving it one more month:)


    I met my DH while he was in sub school in Groton. I lived in southeastern MA at the time:) Do you know the area?

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