Out Of The Loop

This post might step on some toes and offend some people.  I’m ok with that.  These are my opinions and if yours are different, cool beans.  One of benefits of living in the USA is that we can all have our own opinions.  If you do disagree, I’d love to hear your comments in a respectful way.

I’ve been feeling a little out of the pop culture loop lately.  I have to admit I’m ok with it.  It’s also nothing new.  I was out of the loop while living in Asia (I had no idea what Survivor or American Idol was, among other things, when I returned home in 2005.)  I’m out of the loop because I don’t watch much TV or listen to the radio.  I only listen to the radio in the car and it’s mostly Spirit 105.3, a local Christian music station or some classic rock.  At home it’s Pandora or my iPod.  It’s not unusual for me to first hear a song a year or two after it has come out.

You might be wondering where I’m going with this.  My Twitter feed and several blogs I read have been full of the book 50 Shades of Gray.  I have absolutely no desire to read this book.  First reason is that it is somehow related to Twilight.  I’m not a Twilight fan.  I haven’t read it either.  I’m ok with missing out on this.  I’ve also heard it’s basically soft porn and I’m ok with missing that too. I could be wrong about that since I haven’t read it but I’ve heard it from enough people that I don’t think I’m too far off.

The other item that has been getting a lot of chatter is the movie Magic Mike.  I had no idea what it was about but everyone was talking about it so I googled it.  It’s about a male stripper.  Right from that I can tell you I’m not interested.

My first thought when I was thinking of all this was ““Why are people surprised that affairs are rampant and the divorce rate is so high?”  I’m not saying that 50 Shades of Gray and Magic Mike are the causes of these things but they certainly are symptoms.  What you put in your body, including your mind, is what you’re doing to get out.  There is enough temptation in my everyday life, why do I want to add more?  Why would I want to put those thoughts and images in my head?  They are nearly impossible to erase.

Our society has traded the truth for a lie.  One of those lies is that sex=love.  Sex does not equal love.  It equals lust.  And lust is perfectly acceptable in our society.  We base our happiness on it.  We base marriages on it.  We base divorces on it.  There are many people who get married not because they are in love but because they are in lust.  When they are no longer in lust, why stay married?  Isn’t the whole point of being married about being happy (and without going into it I say NO, marriage isn’t all about being happy.)

In very, very simple terms (I even might be oversimplifying it but work with me here) lust is what makes me happy.  Love is about what makes you happy.  My favorite definition of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴ Love is patient,

love is kind.

It does not envy,

it does not boast,

it is not proud.

⁵ It does not dishonor others,

it is not self-seeking,

 it is not easily angered,

 it keeps no record of wrongs.

 ⁶ Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

⁷ It always protects,

always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

That’s the kind of love I want.  I don’t want lust.  I want love.  Real, time and trial tested love.  The kind that puts the other first, in wanting what is best for them.  It’s still out there though it’s becoming harder and harder to find.

My marriage is not perfect.  We still have a lot of work to do.  I am thankful that The Man and I are both committed to each other and our marriage and a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love.  We love each other and it is work.  It’s hard but it’s rewarding.  It makes me sad that others are missing out on this, that they have traded it in for something that looks good but is unfulfilling. 

So many people are looking for love, real love.  Is it any wonder they have a hard time finding it with all the junk out there?