Productive Weekend

This weekend I did something that I've put off for at least six months, maybe longer.  I knew it needed to be done but I kept putting it off and off and off because it was overwhelming. Plus I needed someone to watch the kids and....I just kept finding excuses.  But this weekend enough was enough!  I finally did it.  I cleaned the pantry!

Yeah, things must be pretty bad if I'm blogging about cleaning the pantry!  It doesn't take much thought to write about but I'm pretty proud of how it looks now.  I carried out 4 bags of trash, plus have two of piles of unwanted items.  One pile will be donated and the other is to sell.  This is what it looked like before:

Early Mornings

I’m not a morning person. I never have been, though I didn’t fully realize it until college.  Silly me scheduled 8 am classes first and second semester freshman year (yeah, what was I thinking?! WHO DOES THAT?!?)  Trust me when I tell you I NEVER took another 8 am class again!  College was great because I could stay up late, usually until 2 or 3 and still get plenty of sleep before my 10 or 11 am classes.  As a parent, it’s much, much harder to be a night owl. I usually regret it in the morning. That’s one reason why I’ve been loving it that Munchkin’s been sleeping in and we can have lazy mornings.

My First Just Between Friends Consigning Experience

I’ve been shopping at my local Just Between Friends (JBF) Consignment Sale since Munchkin was born in 2012.  I’ve gotten some great deals and I always enjoy going.  This time though, I decided to take the plunge and consign some of Munchkin’s stuff that we weren’t using.  I like to pass clothes on to friends with who are smaller than Munchkin since I’ve had so many given to me.  I mostly wanted to sell our pocket diapers since I don’t want to use them with Punkin.  I know I could sell them on my local cloth swap page and not have to share the profits but I didn’t want to have to meet twenty different people on twenty different days and drag Munchkin with me.  So consigning at the JBF sale made sense to me!

A New Floor

When we bought our house four years ago, it had all new floors.  The whole downstairs had carpet as did the two bedrooms on the main floor.  The carpet downstairs got taken up pretty quickly after the washer flooded.  It took us awhile to replace it (but it’s finally all laminate now and looks great!) The rug came out of Munchkin’s room before she was born and we replaced that as well (two years ago!)  So all that was left was the nasty rug in our bedroom.  It’s had cats throw up on it and dogs poop on it.  It was just GROSS.  I really don’t like carpet very much but I dealt with it because well, it’s what was there and was working for the most part.

Life is Short

It started off like most Sundays.  We got up early and made it to church (on time!)  Nana took Munchkin out to breakfast and The Man and I headed home after chatting with friends for a little bit.  We took the highway home even though we normally take the scenic back road on Sundays.

We came around a curve and saw a car on its side.  There were two men around it, trying to get in.  The Man pulled the car over and ran to help them.  I grabbed my phone and called 911.  After 5 rings and no answer, I hung up and tried again.  I finally got through and gave them the necessary info.  Thankfully someone had already called it in and help was on the way. 

While I was on the phone I watched as The Man and the two other men tried to right the smoking car.  The Man shouted at me that there was an unconscious man in the car.  Two other people ran up and the five of them were able to manually right the car.  All the doors were locked.  The Man and another man were able to force a door open because it was a little bent.  Out of nowhere a women showed up.  She was in scrubs and had a hospital ID badge on.  There was a blue tag hanging from with proclaiming that was is an RN.  She took charge as they pulled the man to the ground and started giving him CPR.

He was an older man, with white hair and a bald spot.  He had an oxygen tank  and they pushed the air hose out the way.  I held a man’s jacket while he took a turn doing compressions on the man’s chest.  I was the smallest person there so I didn’t take a turn but The Man did.  It felt like a long time before the police and ambulances showed up but in reality I think it was only 2 or so minutes. 

The EMTs arrived and took over CPR.  The Man came over to me and just held my hand.  We stood and watched as they got him into the ambulance.  Someone grabbed his oxygen tank and noted that it was empty.  We overheard someone who  saw the accident describe what happened.  The driver was coming across the highway and hit the embankment, the car went air born and landed on it’s side.  While we have no idea what caused the accident, we’re guessing it was either a heart attack or caused because he ran out of oxygen.  Later on on Sunday we saw a newspaper article saying it was a medical condition.

The Man quietly told me that he thinks the man died before they got him out the car, probably before anyone stopped to help.  The Man’s hands were shaking, dirty and had blood on them.  He did what he could to try to save the driver.  We were both shaken from the accident and it affected our whole day.  It’s affect our whole week. 

This event has made me think about how short life is.  The man was 71, which seems like a long life.  Even so, it really isn’t that long.  None of us are here for that long.  I’m reminded that each day is a gift and one that we shouldn’t take for granted.  I’m hugging my family a little tighter.  I’m thankful for the time I have with them, no matter how long or short that time may be. 

Thoughts On Having Another Child

Putting Munchkin to bed tonight was more painful that usual.  She didn’t nap today.  She fell asleep while eating dinner so I know she was exhausted.  I tried to move her to bed but she woke up.  She didn’t want to go back to sleep right then so after a little more play time, a tubby and some warm milk, we headed to bed early.

You would have thought I was feeding her to wolves.  She sobbed and screamed.  I was laying right next to her as she cried for mama.  If she could have opened up my chest and crawled in she would have. It felt like an eternity but in reality it was about twenty minutes.  Somewhere in those twenty minutes an ungracious though ran through my head.  I wondered if The Man and I are crazy because we want another child.  We want another crying, screaming, clingy little person.  I’m not sure I can handle more than one of these acting like this at a time.  I’ve seen enough tweets from friends to know how crazy it can make you when you have two (or more) crying, screaming, clinging kids at once.  It is entirely plausible that I’m crazy (I did marry a man who worked in a metal tube that submerged on purpose and slept next to a missile.)

Finally she quieted down.  Then she fell asleep.  Her cheeks were wet, her breathing even and she looked so sweet, so innocent in her sleep.  With all the crying and screaming come cuddles and love.  In the past eighteen months I’ve known more joy and love than I thought possible.  Of course we want another bundle of crazy love.  The Man and I agree that our family does not feel complete. Creating that new person could be interesting, given The Man’s crazy schedule, the fact that my mom lives with us and that Munchkin still sleeps in our bed.  It will take some scheduling but it will be worth it. 

It seems crazy to think that I want my life to be turned upside down.  I do though.  I want the crying, the screaming, the clinging, the joy and the love.  The former will last for a short time but the latter?  It will last a lifetime.

 

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Saturday

You don’t normally hear from me on the weekend but I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) this year.  That means I’ll be doing my best to post every day.  

 

Here’s what I spent my afternoon doing with 25 lbs of tomatoes, in pictures because it’s more fun that way:

   It helps when you have a cute helper. Well, she didn’t get to help as she wasn’t allowed to come in the kitchen.  She hung out at the line for awhile and then played with the tomato box.    I ended up with 9 quarts of sauce and several jars of diced tomatoes, all ready for the freezer.  A productive Saturday!  

Government Shut Down

As of midnight, October 1, the United States Government shut down.  My twitter feed and to a lesser extent my Facebook feed was talking about nothing else. Well, actually, let me revise that.  My Milspouse friends were talking almost nothing else.  I find that my milspouse friends are some of the most politically aware friends that I have.  Most other people seemed clueless that it was going to happen.  I wonder, are they unconcerned because it doesn’t affect them or their loved ones or maybe they don’t know anyone who is affected?

Well, allow me to introduce myself.  I’m Poe, and I’m married to The Man and we have one adorable little girl, Munchkin.  I’m a Stay-At-Home-Mom by choice, because we want one of us to be the one taking care of our little girl.  The Man works full time as a DOD civilian.  This is a good job, with decent pay and good benefits.  The Man enjoys his job which is more than we can say for his last year in the Navy.  This means that we have one income.  It’s enough to cover our expenses and we live within our means.  We’re doing our best to pay off our debt. 

The government shutting down means The Man doesn’t go to work because they don’t have any money to pay him with.  So we have no paycheck.  No paycheck equals no income and no way to pay our bills, our mortgage, buy gas for the cars, buy FOOD!  We have a little savings but we recently had to use some of it and haven’t gotten to replace it all yet.  So this no paycheck thing is going to be hard.  Very hard.  Companies want the money we owe them, and rightly so.  I hate paying things late but it’s hard when you have no choice. 

Actually, I have to take part of that previous paragraph back.  The Man went into work on Tuesday like he was supposed to, to take part in the orderly shutdown of the government.  When he got there he was surprised to find out that his shop is considered exempt, meaning that they have been deemed essential.  Essential to what? The current mission of the US Navy.  So he gets to continue to go to work and he won’t get paid until a deal is reached and there is money again.  So the good news is that he should get paid retroactively and the bad news is like everyone else, we have no paycheck coming in at the moment.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful that we should get money eventually, that he’s still earning leave and that our health insurance is still in place. (Even though it will be going up $1200 next year.  So much for Obamacare, right?!?!?)   It’s just scary to not know how you’re going to buy food and pay your bills.

We’re not the only ones affected.  There are thousands of people in the US that are feeling the impact of the shut down.  I wonder, are those in Congress so far removed that they don’t realize that this is going to affect many of the people in their districts?  I don’t want to get into politics and I blame both parties and both houses of Congress as well as the President.  I’m praying that it doesn’t long but honestly, I’m not too hopefully.  We’ll be ok for a little while but if this drags on, we will be in a difficult position.  Even with the promise of pay eventually, we’ll still have late fees that will cost us extra.  My heart hurts for those that have no promise of pay while they aren’t working.  How are they going to meet their obligations and pay for necessities like food?  This is hurting a lot of people and the slowly recovering economy isn’t going to take to kindly to it either. 

So, do you have any recipes for Rice & Beans that you’d care to share with me?  I think I might need them!

 

Are you being affected by the Shutdown?  How?

Random 5 on Friday

I don’t know about you but I’m so glad it’s Friday! Two whole days with The Man home to help out.  This morning started rough which brings me to my first random thought:

1.  The Man gets Munchkin right before he leaves around 5:30. He changes her diaper and gives her her medicine.  Then he brings her back to me in bed and we go back to sleep.  It works beautifully….until it doesn’t.  This morning when Munchkin came back to me she didn’t want any mama milk which is unusual.  Then she started coughing. And she coughed and coughed and coughed.  Then she threw up.  All over our bed.  Most of it got on the bed with just a little bit on her and almost none on me.  I didn’t want The Man to be late so I told him I had it.  I did but next time I’ll have him strip the bed and locate some clean sheets.  Also, it was time to change our sheets anyway. And once I did get clean sheets one, Munchkin went right back to sleep.  Then she was up for an hour and is asleep again. Poor Munchkin.

2.  The weathermen said it was going to be in the high 60’s again today. Well, it’s not.  It’s cold again.  I was hoping for another warm day. Oh well, hopefully spring will be here soon! I had to put socks on this morning cause my feet were cold. I thought I grabbed matching socks but a few hours later I realized I didn’t.

3. Thankfully it’s not raining so The Man will be able to mow our lawn. It looks like no one lives here or cares about the yard. Our lawn mower has been broken. The Man was able to fix it with the help of his dad this weekend so now he gets to mow the lawn. YAY! I’m also excited because then Munchkin and I can go out and enjoy the yard…if it ever warms up.

4. The Man tilled our garden yesterday! I’m a little behind and haven’t started anything from seeds but I am excited.  We started the garden last year but didn’t keep up with it.  This year I’m excited for our own veggies! I can’t wait to get stuff planted.  We’re going to be planting lettuce, spinach, green onions, zucchini, carrots, corn, cucumbers, tomatoes and broccoli.  Are you having a garden this year? What are you planting?

5. I’ve gotten sucked in to Candy Crush.  I’m stuck again on a level. It’s a good thing I can only play 5 times in a row and that it takes a half hour to get a life! 

Have a great weekend!

I’m linking up with Miranda at The Pebble Pond:

Random 5

Today I’m linking up with Miranda from The Pebble Pond for the meme she created call Random 5 on Fridays.  I can do random.  I do random really well!  Just ask The Man!

1.  I’ve had a great bloggy week!  I managed to post everyday this week.  That hasn’t happened since I don’t know when.  It’s probably been at least 9 months.  I’ve also had a great time meeting new bloggers during the Ultimate Blog Party 13.  That’s how I found Miranda!

2.  Munchkin has 4 top teeth coming in.  The middle two have cut and the other two are working on it.  This is making for a cranky Munchkin.  Going to sleep is the hardest.  I feel so bad for her and I wish I could do more.   I’ll be so happy when the teeth come in.  It’s also making us thankful that we normally have a very happy baby. 

3. My Wii controller is on the brink.  It doesn’t want to work and it takes me 3-4 minutes to get it to work.  It’s cutting into my time watching Say Yes to the Dress!  I can’t get the other controller connected and it’s so frustrating!

4.  When it became clear that the sequester was going to happen and we were looking at 22 furlough days, The Man got a second job.  We were both looking and he found on first.  We had to have a second income with the loss of that much income.  We were thrilled when the number of furlough days were cut to 14.  The Man started his second job, which was a night.  It’s been about three weeks and let me tell you, it’s been rough.  Last night we heard a rumor that the furlough days could be cut to 7.  SEVEN days.  Seven days is way better than 22.  We can make do with 7 days.  We realized that we can live without the second income.  It will be tight but we can do it.  So The Man quit the second job last night.  I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders.  Munchkin and I weren’t getting a lot of time with him and we NEED that.  So I’m a happy girl going into the weekend!

4.5  All of the Reese’s eggs I bought on Tuesday are gone.  GONE! Part of me is happy and part of me is sad.  How am I going to satisfy my peanut butter craving?

5.  I got an awesome gift in the mail the other day from my mom.  It’s a just because gift.  She sent me herb plants! I got marjoram, basil, oregano, thyme, sage and rosemary.  I can’t wait to plant them.  I love fresh herbs!  I usually start them from seeds and it’s been hit or miss for me.  I’m so excited to have the plants!

What’s up with you guys today?

Say Yes To The Dress

I’ve been watching Say Yes To The Dress on Netflix.  I’ve finished all the ones set in Atlanta and am now onto New York.  It’s great to have on in the background while Munchkin and I are playing.  The Man just laughs at me when he comes home and it’s on.  He knows how I feel about wedding dress shopping…I’m so glad I never have to do it again! I had a good experience I just don’t want to do it again. I had fun shopping with my mom and found THE dress for me. I just don’t want to spend that much money for a dress I’ll only wear for a few hours again!

Usually at the end of an episode I have warm fuzzies and everything is rainbows and glitter.  There have been a couple of times when that hasn’t happened.  It’s usually because the bride has a sense of entitlement.  I hate it when they don’t care about the budget and bully their parents into buying them a more expensive dress. 

I cringe when I hear things like “I always get what I want” and “the budget doesn’t matter” or anything along those lines.  Do they not know how bratty they sound?  It’s not cute or endearing to hear that from a grown women. It’s not all the bride’s fault, their parents have had a hand in creating the monster.  If they always give in then of course the bride is going to say something like that.  Why get upset now?  You’re reaping what you’ve sown.  It’s a good reminder to me, to make sure to teach Munchkin gratitude.

Also, the budget for some of these dresses boggles my mind.  If they have the money to spend, great. But some of them are almost what my my entire wedding cost.  It’s just crazy to me!  And the brides who bring tons of people with them is mind boggling to me too. You can’t please everyone and getting tons of opinions just make it harder (at least I think so!)

I think something that often gets forgotten in the quest to have “the perfect day”…and that’s the fact that what comes after the wedding is more important. The wedding is just a day.  The marriage is (or at least should be) forever.  The wedding doesn’t make the marriage.  The relationship is so much more important!

You get pictures of my dress because every post should have pictures, right?!

Did you have a good experience buying a wedding dress?

Today

I haven’t been looking forward to today for about a month now.  Due to my dad being diagnosed with colon cancer when he was in his mid 30’s, I get to be checked for it as well.  I’ve been checked on and off since I was 9 so it’s not like it’s my first time getting a colonoscopy.

While I don’t enjoy them, the actual procedure isn’t too bad.  It’s the prep and for me, the IV.  I hate IVs with a passion.  I had a really bad experience as a kid getting on (for a colonoscopy no less!)  I’ll be honest, the prep this time wasn’t as bad as in the past.  It gets a little easier every time!

So three things are on my mind today as a result of this:

1.  The stupid IV. Hate, hate, hate that thing. 

2.  As a result of waking up in the past during the procedure and remembering, I get to have deep sedation.  As a result I was told that I can’t breastfeed for 24 hours.  That’s a long time! My poor baby is going to be beside herself.  I’ve tried pumping and have gotten very little.  I’ve taken what little I has stored in the freezer out to defrost.  Last time we tried to give Munchkin frozen breast milk she refused it.  So we might be trying formula (except that she refused that last time too…) 

3.  The results.  I know my days are numbered (Psalm 139:16) and whatever is found today doesn’t change that.  I’m still nervous though.  I’d appreciate prayer.  Thanks so much!

I’m off to snuggle and feed my baby, finish prepping and daydream about the chicken I’m going to eat when this in done!

Cleaning the Closet

I cleaned out my closet & dresser on Saturday.  I went through everything including underwear, bras and socks (I usually skip them!)  It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal but it was.  I was pretty emotional at times and it was hard for me to get rid of some of the clothes.

I was trying to figure out why while I was doing it.  At one point I actually had tears running down my face.  That’s when I figured it out.  I was attached to these clothes because they were from my before life.  My life before Munchkin and The Man, back when I worked full time and was single.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I have now what I wanted then.  I think back nostalgically about when I did work full time,  got to wear cute clothes, made a decent salary, and spent it on whatever I wanted.  I also had nice clothing then.  Most of it was from Ann Taylor Loft.  Clothing from Talbots, New York & Co., and Gap also made appearances. 

I was also holding onto the clothes because like most women, I want to lose weight and fit into them again.  If I’m completely honest, there’s a very good chance I’ll never fit into them again.  I’m working with being ok with that.  I’d rather have my flabby belly and stretch marks as a result of having a baby instead of not having them and not having a baby.  As I was thinking about my weight, I realized that I’m down 20 lbs from where I was right before I got pregnant and 30 lbs down from my heaviest pregnancy weight.  That’s not too bad!  I’m not in a smaller size though and I blame my c-section scare and the belly that flops over it.  If not for that I would be at least one size down. 

At the end of the day, I had 9 bags of clothes and shoes to bring to Goodwill.  It’s insane that I had that much clothing.  What do I need that much clothing for?   I could have clothed several families in the developing world! 

I did keep one bin of some of my favorite clothes.  I kept the items I had tailored for me in Viet Nam and my favorite skirts and pants along with a few tops.  In the bin is my favorite pair of jeans and capris just in case I’m ever that small again.  If I do lose the weight, I now have a good reason to go shopping!

How often do you clean out your closet?

Not Surprised

I got a phone call today.  I wasn’t expecting it but it didn’t surprise me.  It was from my mom and she had bad news for me.  A close family friend lost her battle with cancer today.

I called her Auntie growing up even though there is no shared blood.  When I was 9 I spent the summer with her.  I got to swim in her pool and and read her daughter’s Nancy Drew books (she had them all in hardcover.  It was a book lover’s dream!)  Auntie and Uncle bought a cottage in Cape Cod and Uncle  redid it.  It was gorgeous when it was done and I loved visiting them there.  As I got older they would let me borrow it for a night or a weekend.  The summer I worked on Cape Cod they let me bring some friends to relax.  Auntie was giving and fun.  You knew that when you spent time with her you’d end up laughing.  As for the giving aspect, after they bought the cape house they decided they didn’t need/want their pool anymore.  I had asked them if they ever decided to get rid of their pool if I could have it.  They had said yes so guess what?  I got the pool!  My parents were ok with it and we had it for a long time.  I remember being in shock because who gives away their pool?!?  At least that’s what a 10 year old thought.

In the past few years we haven’t been as close but they still hold a special place in my heart.  I’m sitting here, trying to figure out what I should write.  I have nothing though.  I’m still in shock.  I knew she was sick and not doing well.  I wasn’t expecting this though.  I just expected her to get better.  My heart is hurting for her husband,  daughter, son in law and grandchildren.  I know that they were close and I can just imagine the pain they are feeling.

Since they (whoever they are) say that death comes in threes and this is the third death in September, I’m hoping it’s done.  And I’m very, very ready for September to be over.

September

I’m not really looking forward to September this year.  The past two years it hasn’t been very nice to me.  September is starting to be synonymous with death and it has me wondering if someone is going to die this year too.  Morbid I know.

Two years ago my Granny died on September 15.  While it wasn’t expected it wasn’t totally unexpected either has her health wasn’t the best.  I went to Arkansas for the funeral and it was nice to have that closure.  It was also nice to see family that I hadn’t seen in years.  The sad thing is that I probably won’t see most of them until my grandfather’s funeral, which I’m praying won’t be for several years.

Then last year happened.  My dad died on September 21.  I can already tell it’s going to be a tough month.  Over Labor Day I was thinking about how mom had had to take dad to the hospital last year.  How they released him on Monday and how on Wednesday she had to take him back.  How I offered to fly out to help out, which I did on Thursday.  When this happened none of us expected it to end with daddy dead. 

As I sit here typing this my 7 week old daughter is sleeping in her bouncy seat.  She’s so peaceful and adorable.  There are days it just kills me that he never knew about her.  He would have loved her.  I know that without a doubt, that he would have loved her for no other reason than the fact that she’s mine.  He would have been so happy and proud.  Everyone he talked to would have known that he had a new granddaughter  He would have fought with my mom about holding her.  I know he’s in heaven and that he does love her and is so proud.  It’s just not the same. 

Well, someone just opened her eyes so I’m going to go take care of her.  What a beautiful distraction I have! 

Food For Thought

I can totally tell that I’m hormonal because this is going to be another “rant.”  Two in less than a week is a record for me (the other one can be found here.)  I normally just let this stuff roll off my back but this has been stuck in my head so I’m going to share.  Once again you might not agree.  I’m ok with that.  Please feel free to share what you think in a respectful manner.

So lately I’ve been seeing tweets and wall posts on Facebook where wives are complaining about their husbands.  It’s bugging me.  Why?  As a wife, I see part of my “job” to be one of building my husband up, not tearing him down.  The world does that enough on it’s own, I don’t need to join in.  That’s not to say that The Man is perfect.  He’s not and I’m sure he’ll freely admit it to you.  I’m not perfect and I have no problem sharing that!  Our marriage is not perfect and our life is not all roses and sunshine, contrary to what some might think.  You might think that because I don’t air our problems on the internet (I have talked about some issues we’ve had, such as The Man’s alcoholism but that is with his permission) that we don’t have any.  Not true. 

I try not to complain about The Man.  When you complain about your husband online, how do you think it makes him feel when he reads what you wrote and see others agree with you?  How would you feel if the roles were reversed?  Do you want someone bashing you in a very public place and have others weigh in with their thoughts?  No one might think much of it if it happens sporadically but what about if you do it all the time?  Do you want to read all about your shortcomings online?  Even if it is a valid complaint, would it be better to deal with it one on one with your husband instead of involving everyone in your friend list?

I suppose I could complain about The Man on Twitter since he doesn’t have an account and would never know.  But then, how would my followers perceive him?  How would my one sided complaining skew what they think of him?  I would be very upset for someone to think badly of  my husband, whom they have never met, based on my complaining!

As his wife, I want my husband to love me.  I want to know and feel that I am loved by this man everyday.  The husband also wants to feel loved.  However, there is something they want more than that.  They want the respect of their wife.  Yes, they want to be loved but for a man, respect is more important.  By bashing him in public you are being so disrespectful.  You are tearing him down.  Why would he want to work hard for you and your family if he continually feels disrespected by you? Why would he want to help you out?  Why would he want anything to do with you at all? 

Sometimes it’s not about him.  Sometimes it’s about you.  You and your attitude towards your husband.  Maybe the problem isn’t with him at all.  Maybe it’s you.  Try putting your husband first and see what happens.  You may be (pleasantly) surprised.

I strive to be a safe place for The Man.  I should be the one he complains about his job too, the one he shares his worries and concerns with.  You know what?  I am the one he shares those things with.  However, I also get to share in his joy and excitement.  I’m the one he can’t wait to tell the good things too, as well as the bad.  He’s knows that I’m there for him.  He knows I’m not going to bash him or judge him when he’s struggling.  He knows he can trust me with the little things as well as the big.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a perfect wife (I probably should have spent the morning clean the house instead of blogging.)  I have brought up past mistakes when I shouldn’t have and it’s something I’m working on.  I know I don’t want my past mistakes thrown in my face again and again.  I’m doing my best to be very aware about what I write about my husband on the internet because I don’t to EVER want to be a stumbling block to him.  It’s amazing, that when you put someone else first they will often then put you first.  Then  you both have what you want/need and get your needs met. 

This thought is kind of unrelated…but if ALL you do is complain, what does that say about you?  It makes you a person I don’t want to spend time with because you’re only going to drag me down.  There’s enough negativity in my life without you adding to it!   And for someone married to you…why would they want to come home to you if all you do is complain and nag?  Work looks better than home does…

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.  Now I feel better!

How do you show respect to your husband or significant other?

Out Of The Loop

This post might step on some toes and offend some people.  I’m ok with that.  These are my opinions and if yours are different, cool beans.  One of benefits of living in the USA is that we can all have our own opinions.  If you do disagree, I’d love to hear your comments in a respectful way.

I’ve been feeling a little out of the pop culture loop lately.  I have to admit I’m ok with it.  It’s also nothing new.  I was out of the loop while living in Asia (I had no idea what Survivor or American Idol was, among other things, when I returned home in 2005.)  I’m out of the loop because I don’t watch much TV or listen to the radio.  I only listen to the radio in the car and it’s mostly Spirit 105.3, a local Christian music station or some classic rock.  At home it’s Pandora or my iPod.  It’s not unusual for me to first hear a song a year or two after it has come out.

You might be wondering where I’m going with this.  My Twitter feed and several blogs I read have been full of the book 50 Shades of Gray.  I have absolutely no desire to read this book.  First reason is that it is somehow related to Twilight.  I’m not a Twilight fan.  I haven’t read it either.  I’m ok with missing out on this.  I’ve also heard it’s basically soft porn and I’m ok with missing that too. I could be wrong about that since I haven’t read it but I’ve heard it from enough people that I don’t think I’m too far off.

The other item that has been getting a lot of chatter is the movie Magic Mike.  I had no idea what it was about but everyone was talking about it so I googled it.  It’s about a male stripper.  Right from that I can tell you I’m not interested.

My first thought when I was thinking of all this was ““Why are people surprised that affairs are rampant and the divorce rate is so high?”  I’m not saying that 50 Shades of Gray and Magic Mike are the causes of these things but they certainly are symptoms.  What you put in your body, including your mind, is what you’re doing to get out.  There is enough temptation in my everyday life, why do I want to add more?  Why would I want to put those thoughts and images in my head?  They are nearly impossible to erase.

Our society has traded the truth for a lie.  One of those lies is that sex=love.  Sex does not equal love.  It equals lust.  And lust is perfectly acceptable in our society.  We base our happiness on it.  We base marriages on it.  We base divorces on it.  There are many people who get married not because they are in love but because they are in lust.  When they are no longer in lust, why stay married?  Isn’t the whole point of being married about being happy (and without going into it I say NO, marriage isn’t all about being happy.)

In very, very simple terms (I even might be oversimplifying it but work with me here) lust is what makes me happy.  Love is about what makes you happy.  My favorite definition of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴ Love is patient,

love is kind.

It does not envy,

it does not boast,

it is not proud.

⁵ It does not dishonor others,

it is not self-seeking,

 it is not easily angered,

 it keeps no record of wrongs.

 ⁶ Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

⁷ It always protects,

always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

That’s the kind of love I want.  I don’t want lust.  I want love.  Real, time and trial tested love.  The kind that puts the other first, in wanting what is best for them.  It’s still out there though it’s becoming harder and harder to find.

My marriage is not perfect.  We still have a lot of work to do.  I am thankful that The Man and I are both committed to each other and our marriage and a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love.  We love each other and it is work.  It’s hard but it’s rewarding.  It makes me sad that others are missing out on this, that they have traded it in for something that looks good but is unfulfilling. 

So many people are looking for love, real love.  Is it any wonder they have a hard time finding it with all the junk out there?

WinCo

The Man’s newest favorite place is the grocery store WinCo.  He LOVES it there.  We went after my appointment last week and we was looking forward to going.  Is this how we know we’re adults?  That we love to go to certain grocery stores? (In case you’re wondering, my favorite is Trader Joe’s.  Love that place. LOVE IT!)

The prices are great! We were able to get a pound of strawberries for 98 cents the first time we went.  They were delicious! And the second time?  They were $1.98.  Not to bad!  The produce is great quality.  The meats are good quality and reasonably priced as well.

These aren’t the reasons The Man loves WinCo though.  He loves it because of the bulk food section.  He just walks around the area, enthralled by the options.  My favorite item at the moment is the dark chocolate covered cranberries.  The Man doesn’t have a favorite but his mind just goes on and on with the possibilities.  We kinda want to find a recipe with random spices just so we can go buy them in the bulk section!  You can get different kinds of pasta, flour, rice, candies, snack mixes, spices…the list goes on.  It’s a great area and I know I have to allow some time for exploration!

What’s your favorite grocery store?

What do you like about it?

I Don’t Understand

I get that there are just some things that I won’t ever understand.  I’m cool with that.  One of the more current things I just don’t get is the hatred for Tim Tebow.  I know I used the word hatred.  It’s such a strong word but that’s what I see in the media, on Facebook and Twitter.  I just don’t get it.

I get that you might dislike him as a quarterback or as a person but where is this hatred coming from?  How many of you that hate his have actually met the man and can honestly say you don’t like him?  I can’t tell you how many statuses and tweets I saw that said something along of lines of “Time for a Tebow takedown!”  Like all the Patriots were taking on Tebow all by his lonesome.

I guess I really don’t have to think all that hard about it.  I think there is so much hatred because he is living his faith.  Not only his he living his faith, he’s using actions and not just words.  He’s visual about praying.  He’s not hiding it but daring to do it out in the open.  I’ll be the first to admit that I think it’s annoying that it’s called “Tebowing” instead of praying but that’s a whole other rant.  I’m also not surprised by it.  Jesus told us that the world would hate us (his followers) because they first hated him (John 15:18).  How can you hate a guy who inspires others and gives of himself?  Check out this article….what an amazing guy!

So if you’re one of those who hate or strongly dislike Tebow, by all means, go for it.  It’s hurting no one but you.  And it makes you silly and petty.  So even though the Broncos got their butts kicked by New England, I’m hoping they have a great season next year!

Attitude

In a recent post I received many comments commending me for my good attitude.  I was surprised by how many people commented on it.  I did come right out and say what my attitude was, that I was choosing to be positive.  I was choosing to be thankful.  I feel the need to qualify that and be completely honest with you all.  I'm not always positive.  I'm not always thankful.  In fact, if you had seen me a few days before I wrote that, I was anything put positive and thankful.  I was crabby, annoyed and ready to drop kick the Navy out the window.  The Man had been late a couple of days in a row and I was tired of waiting.  My attitude was starting to annoy me...I needed an attitude adjustment.

Source

One thing I have learned in my two year journey as a Navy wife and the 11 months as a Navy fiance...your attitude plays a huge role in how you deal with things.  And contrary to popular belief, YOU can choose your attitude.  It isn't always easy but it can be done.  Don't get me wrong, I have (and will) have day where I wallow in self pity that my husband is gone/working late/missed dinner/____________...you fill in the blank.  Remembering all the good things you DO have helps.  Instead of focusing on the bad, dwell on the good.  Think about the blessings in your life.  Once I did that it was easy to adjust my attitude.

I'm writing this because I don't want you to think I'm better than you or that I have it all together.  I don't.  This is something that I struggle with.  I'm human.  There are good days and there are bad days.  Over time and with practice it becomes easier to think on the good and let go of the bad.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”   ~Charles Swindoll

How's your attitude lately?  

Is there anything you need to change?