How Did You Know?

I saw that Liz, the Optimistic Army Wife was answering the following questions:

How did you know that your spouse was the one for you?

And what has kept you on your toes all these years?

I know it's not always rainbows and butterflies.. So what has kept you holding on through the good times and the bad?

I think these are great questions.  I'm going to answer them cause I don't have anything else to write about.  I'm lacking in inspiration and I can only write about The Man being gone so many times!

Engaged, Sept 2009

 How did you know that your spouse was the one for you?

It sounds crazy but I just knew.  Not right away though I did have an inkling.  I think we both did.  He was the easiest person to talk to.  I couldn't wait to talk to him, to see him.  He listened, really listened to what I had to say.  I was able to share things with him that I didn't with most people.  We believe the same things and have the same goals.  We balance each other nicely.  I had also been praying for a husband.  I had dated a couple of guys before The Man and I knew that weren't the one.  I just knew.  I don't know how to explain it any other way.

And what has kept you on your toes all these years?

We've been together for three years and married for almost two so it's not like it's been a super long time.  But we enjoy spending time together and we are invested in each other.  I love sharing life with him.  We celebrate each others successes, help and encourage each other to reach our goals and we commiserate with each other as well.  My heart still goes pitty pat when he walks in the door.  I'm very much in love with my husband.  Not the fading "crush"  kind of love but the deeper kind of love.  I love him not cause I think he's handsome  or "cool" but because of who he is as a person on the inside. 

It's also the little things, like snuggling on the sofa or cooking a favorite dinner.  It's the putting in a new bathroom light because they want one or letting your spouse have some veg time.  It's putting the other person first and being more concerned about them instead of worrying about yourself.

I know it's not always rainbows and butterflies.. So what has kept you holding on through the good times and the bad?

Commitment.  On our wedding day, before God, our family and friends we made a commitment to each other.  We both honor our vows.  We're not perfect and our marriage isn't perfect but it is good.  Before we got married (when we were talking about getting married) we decided and agreed that divorce is not an option*.  When that's not an option, you have to work things out or life is going to be pretty miserable.  We have pretty good communication (there's always room for improvement) and we're willing to listen to each other.  We willing to work things out.  We don't give up on each other.  It would have been really easy for me to want a divorce when the alcoholism came up.  It wasn't even a thought in my mind.  We're in this together, for better or for worse, good times and bad.  That's what we promised each other and we don't take that lightly.  We entered into our marriage knowing it is for life.  And that's not to say that I don't love my husband.  I do.  Very much.  But there are days and times when it's harder than others.  That's normal.  Marriage is work.  HARD WORK! Nothing worth having is easy though so it's worth it.

*I do want to say that if you are in an abusive relationship than you need to leave and get someplace safe.  No one deserves to be abused.  Leaving doesn't mean automatic divorce though that may be the outcome.

Those are my thoughts.  What do you think? 

I'd love to read your answers to these questions!  

If you do answer them, please come back and let me know!