15 Weeks

I’ve always wanted to be a women who enjoyed pregnancy.  I always expected that I would be.  Imagine my surprise when I realized that I wasn’t enjoying it.  I don’t know if it was the nausea, the frequent trips to the bathroom, the heartburn, the cramping, the constipation, the aversion to food (all food, not just certain things) or the exhaustion.  And don’t forget the waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep.  All of that equals not fun.  The end result will be worth it but when you’re in the middle of it, the end seems so far away.  I guess an upside was the weight loss and the fact that I’m able to fit into pre pre pregnancy jeans.  Well, I was…they are tight again.  The size up is still too big and when I wear them I end up pulling up my pants every ten minutes.  So I’ve switched to maternity pants and they are much more comfortable. 

I’m hoping the second trimester brings a relief to the symptoms like I’m told it will!  Most of them are getting better but food is still not sounding good.  At least I can cook now.  I’d be perfectly happy to not eat except that I know that I and munchkin need me too.  I’ve been living on cereal, grapefruit, orange juice, Carnation Instant Breakfast and chocolate cake. 

Ok, so enough complaining about the yucky parts.  There have been some good parts, like the first ultrasound.  It was amazing to see munchkin.  It was equally amazing to hear the heartbeat.  The Man thinks it sounds like a diesel engine.  It was beating so fast and it’s just incredible.  It’s mindboggling to think that there’s this little person growing  inside me.  There are times when I can’t wrap my mind around it.  It’s so incredible.

I have a little bit of a bump.  A teeny tiny one.  You can only see it when I’m not wearing clothes and since this isn’t the kind of blog, you don’t get to see it yet.  I bug The Man every night by asking him if it’s any bigger.  He does a good job humoring me.  I also have a few stretch marks that showed up around 10 weeks.  I noticed the other day a few more have shown up. Joy…but worth it!

I’ve struggled a bit with the timing of munchkin.  I know that this is God’s timing.  We conceived about one month after dad went home.  I can’t help but think that daddy will never met his grandchild.  I’ve shed quite a few tears over it as I work through my grief.  In talking about it one thought has come up that has no theological basis whatsoever but it brings me comfort anyway.  I like to think that dad got to heaven and met munchkin and told him/her to take care of me and mom before they got sent on down.  Kinda like they tag teamed it.  Like I said, no theological basis at all but it’s working for me so I’m running with it.  Really though, it’s nice to have something to be excited and happy about, to have something else to think about.

For my mommy bloggy friends:

What was/is your favorite part of pregnancy?