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A mother-to-be rarely wants to experience her pregnancy without her husband, but unfortunately for us as military wives, we often don't have a choice. Deployment is simply a fact of life for military families, and many a military wife has gone through pregnancy solo because of the miracle of military timing! However, a pregnancy without your husband by your side doesn't have to be a negative experience. In fact, there are several ways that your pregnancy can still be a special time for both military wives and their deployed spouses:
Share the Excitement
While pregnancy is by no means a perfect experience 100 percent of the time, that doesn't mean that you need to continually complain to your deployed spouse about not having him nearby. Try to maintain the excitement about your pregnancy by frequently sharing ultrasounds and pictures of your growing belly.
Not only will you both remain more positive about the distance, but also the air of excitement will help ease your spouse's mind about you being without him.
Choose Baby Names Together
Just because your miles about doesn't mean you still can't pick out the baby's name together. During his downtime he can brainstorm names, and you can do the same during yours. When you have time to email, Skype, or talk on the phone, share your favorite names and pick one together.
Surprise! Surprise!
There is a good chance that your spouse was called into deployment before finding out the sex of the baby. To let him know whether he will be having a son or daughter, think of a fun or clever way to tell him. Send him a care package with items saying, “It's a Boy!” or send a baked good with either pink or blue at the center.
See this great video on making the perfect care package!
Design the Nursery
One of the most fun pre-birth activities is decorating the nursery. Pinterest has some great ideas for decorating and can help keep your mind of your spouse being gone.
Be sure to send pictures of items you find for the nursery, as well as several updates of the nursery as it progresses. Also be sure to take suggestions and ideas from your spouse so that you can essentially decorate the room together.
Stay Social
Pregnancy is a time full of emotions, as well as physical strain. Remain active and social. Maybe even take a day trip to the zoo!
Don't be afraid to reach out to close friends and family for additional support when necessary. You may even consider having a sibling live with you or choosing to live with your parents when you get closer to your due date.
Not only will this provide you with the additional needed support, but it will help deter feelings of resentment towards your deployed spouse.
Being apart during deployment is never the easiest event for an expecting couple, and it is probably not how you pictured having a child when you dreamed about it. Let go of your expectations of perfection, roll with it, and you will be delighted and surprised by how special your experience will be. You simply have to be a little more creative, either by using a few of these ideas or by employing a few of your own.
Adrienne May is a military spouse and mother of three. Adrienne is also the featured author for Military Spouse Central and Military Family Central, two blogs proudly sponsored by Veterans United Home Loans. Connect with Adrienne personally on Google+ or Twitter!
Thank you so much for letting me share my story and advice with your readers!
ReplyDeleteGreat advice! I was lucky that my husband was only deployed for about 2 months at the beginning of my pregnancy. But during those two months, I made sure I spent lots of time with my friends. I was in WA and my family was over 2,000 miles away. I've found that good friends REALLY are excited for you when you're pregnant and they really want to spend time with you.
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ReplyDelete-Kat
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My husband has been deployed during each pregnancy but made it home before delivery. i agree about keeping them in on all the planning
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