For The Spouse Of An Alcoholic

I’ve shared several times that my husband, The Man is an alcoholic. It’s not a secret, I just don’t write about it frequently.  I’ve had a post in my head for over a year about things that I think spouses of an alcoholic should know.  I never sat down to write it cause there was always something else to write about or no time to write at all.

Then recently my friend Vanessa asked me to write about supporting your alcoholic husband for the Sisters of Katie Luther, of which she is an associate editor.  I said sure since this post has been in my head for ages and this was a good reason to get it out.  So I wrote it and then went to hit the send button. I couldn’t and it surprised me. It wasn’t until then that I realized how deeply personal this piece is. I feel exposed in it.  I don’t share super personal stuff but writing me made me rethink and relive some of time when my husband was working at getting sober.  That time was emotional for me in so many ways and a lot of those emotions resurfaced.

If you’re the spouse of an alcoholic, I think (or at least I like to think) that you’ll agree with many of my points.  If your spouse in not a alcoholic, then what I wrote might give you a small glimpse into what it is like to have an alcoholic spouse. 


If you’d like to read it, you can find it here.

The Potty Parade

This post from my friend Cat had me laughing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

I now have a 2-year-old who is mostly potty-trained (except nights), but it took some work to get there. We were doing great at home, but my daughter HATED public bathrooms! She mostly hated the noisy flush. Automatic, manual, didn't matter. She even cried about going into the bathroom with me when I needed to go. Luckily, she's a holder, so it was never a question of accidents. It was more just getting her comfortable with other toilets.

I knew we had to fix this, so I picked a nice day and we went on a Potty Parade.

Solo Parenting and Pregnant (Life Moves On During Deployments)

One of my favorite bloggers is taking over my blog today and sharing what it's like to be pregnant while your husband is deployed.  If you've never visited her blog before, please head on over once you've read the post!

Hi y'all! I'm Jessica from Jessica Lynn Writes. When PoeKitten asked me to write a post for her while she's off snuggling her new baby, I couldn't resist. I'll just jump right in with my post—it's about being pregnant during not one, but two deployments!

The first time I found out I was pregnant my husband deployed 10 days later for a seven-month tour. In retrospect, I'm lucky we found out before he left; I have several friends who discovered they were pregnant once their husband was already "in the sandbox." I'm also extremely fortunate that he came home before the baby was born.

5 Tips for Returning to Work Post-Baby

I have a guest post for you, from another one of my favorite bloggers, Vanessa. She has some great tips for returning to work after having a baby:

As a mother of three I am no stranger to postpartum anxiety. There's sleep deprivation mixed with physical recovery in addition to all the questions that creep up no matter how many kids you've had and newborns you've raised. For the mom who has to return to work, there is even more worry and stress piled on.

I Was A Strong Willed Child

I knew I wouldn’t be up to blogging right after having Punkin so I lined up some blog post from some of my very favorite bloggers.  Today I have JC from  Me and My Soldierman.  She’s a new mama to super adorable Baby G. If you’ve never checked out her blog before you should (but after you read this post!) 

Every time I see one of those "surviving a strong-willed child" posts going around, I can't help but smirk. Some of them are good, some of them make me shake my head, but all of them bring back memories.

Just Between Friends Holiday Sale

I have a guest post for you today, from Biance of the Pierogie Mama. She's sharing some information about a Just Between Friends Holiday Sale. I LOVE JBF and had a great experience in September volunteering and consigning for the first time. I can't wait for the holiday sale and am hoping to find some great stuff for my girls. If you've never heard of JBF, read on. If you have heard of JBF, read on anyway! Don't forget to enter the giveaway at the end!

Bianca is the blogger behind The Pierogie Mama and loves to share about the north Seattle Just Between Friends Events! Please welcome her as she shares about the upcoming holiday sale for JBF Lynnwood at Gold Creek Church, in Mill Creek WA. 

Christmas….Military Style

I’m on my way back from having fun in the sun.  Since I’m not home yet, I have another guest post for you today from Rheanna of Cammo Style Love.

For military families everywhere the holiday season can bring a swift dose of reality.  We are one short.  Although we might be one short, it’s more about what you make of it.  Making sure to include your service member is not only important for your loved one; but it is just as important if you happen to have little ones running around.  We’ve experienced several holidays without our hero and we’ve chosen different ways to handle that.  It wasn’t really until recently that the kids really grasped what it meant to not have daddy around.  They opened presents and had fun.  For them that was really the extent of it; not having him home really was harder for me.  Last year when my oldest was in Kindergarten things like time and dates really meant something to him.  We had to get creative.  So I thought of some ways that might help you make holiday time fun, including some of the ones we chose to do.

Christmas can always come another day

Last year, Daddy made a special call to Santa and we got our presents delivered a week early.  It was pretty cool, and my oldest was for it.  Making it work is the name of the game, and if the time you have together is closer to Christmas (either on the backend or the front) then go for it.   Being together and celebrating TOGETHER is so important.

Christmas isn’t just a date

Currently I have a friend who is leaving up Christmas until her husband comes home in February, the outside lights, the Christmas tree and all that is staying up.  What a welcome home for him.  It isn’t about a date, it’s about family and love, and you can’t confine that to one specific date.

Christmas with Technology
This is an old stand-by; but old stand-bys are tried and true don’t you think?  They work and there’s a reason why they work.   Skype and face time have revolutionized deployments, tdy’s and geo-bachelor’s lives!  It has mine and I am forever grateful for it.  If you’re going to take this route do it right!  Send presents early, decorate the house up, make food for the table.  You don’t even have to talk or carry a conversation.  Simply just being together doing an ordinary activity can revitalize a long-distance relationship. 

Remember when we were young, and long-distance relationships were this thing we wondered if we could do.  We wondered if it was even worth it, and maybe who those girls/guys were that did it.  Now we do it all the time, sometimes for twelve months at a time.   We have to get creative and shake things up.  Sure these ideas might not be grand or require lots of steps; but I know that especially for my children, it’s the simplest of things that provide the most joy.

 

Rheanna is a Military Spouse and Stay at Home Mom. Rheanna and her husband have been living the military life for eleven years, have lived in three different places, and have had many opportunities to travel around the United States. They have three children. On her blog, Cammo Style Love, she blogs about parenting, military life, her love of books and history, working out and any other random thing that comes to mind. With a husband that travels frequently, in her spare time you find her and her children giving back to their military community in our Nation's Capitol!

There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays!

I hope I’m having fun in the sun right now, so here is another guest post for you.  Enjoy!

Hi there, friends! I'm Elizabeth, known on the internet as The Young Retiree! My husband and I have been living in Southern California for the last 4 years for his job in the United States Navy. According to Mapquest, it's a 45 hour drive back home- 2,782 miles, $1,537 estimated cost for gas, add on a few overnights in hotels (at least 4 nights), add in eating out for those 4 days plus road trip snackies and we're looking at a pretty penny to get home for the holidays with our pups (and of course, back to our Southern California home)! Eight days of travel there and back- that's a little extravagant!  Let's say we fly instead? Round trip we can book on Southwest for $2,047 (then add on tax, possible luggage overage, a delicious airport Starbucks, long term parking or shuttle the hour down to the airport, and other flight expenses!) but that's not including boarding our 3 dogs for the length of time we're gone.

Man, heading home for the holidays can get expensive pretty quickly, huh? With a job in the military some could even say it's a luxury! A luxury we've not been afforded since we moved to Southern California, and a luxury we won't be afforded this year, not to mention my husband has one day off without taking leave- Christmas day! We try our hardest not to let it get us down and I cry randomly throughout the days as I decorate and make our house into a magically decorated Christmas wonderland because, like they say, there's no place like home for the holidays: our home, in Southern California!

I'm willing to bet we're not the only military family who can't make it home for the holidays so I'm sharing some of our tips for making the most of the holidays thousands of miles away from the traditions and family you grew up with! For my husband and I, we moved shortly after our wedding, so we've been making "our traditions" exclusive of our extended family.

ONE: The Weeks Leading To Christmas! We find fun things in our area to do. Google "Holiday events in (insert the name of your town here)" and a whole list will pop up of parades, tree lighting ceremonies, tree farms, Christmas wonderlands, and so much more! Head on out and see them! As far as your house goes: watch silly holiday movies over Danish cookies and cocoa, decorate as a family, and make your house a cozy holiday haven!

TWO: December the 25th! My husband and I have a special Christmas Eve tradition of unwrapping a new Christmas movie, finding snacks in our stockings, making a fire, and settling in for one last night of Christmas magic. By Christmas Eve he's probably so excited to be done watching Hallmark Christmas movies it's the best gift he could ever get! Christmas morning we awake and open gifts, play with the dogs, make a Christmas dinner, and lay about the house in our jammies! Every year.

THREE: The Final Moments of Each Year! Go on out there and celebrate, host a party, or snuggle up waiting for the ball to drop on your tv from Times Square! Look over pictures from the last year, talk about the fun memories you've made, play the top 20 songs from the last year: even without the celebrations from home, you can make the most of the end of the year wherever you are!

Wherever you spend your holidays, I surely hope they're happy! Make the most of the events in your area and the family you're blessed to spend it with no matter how big or small! Merry Christmas, friends!

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Elizabeth can be found blogging all about building a happy marriage and dating her husband, hiking and participating in 5Ks on her weight loss journey, celebrating life and looking for adventure over at The Young Retiree! You can follow her on Instagram and find her on Facebook as well!

The Kindess Calendar

While I’m basking in the warm sun and sand, I have some guest posts for you.  Up first is Lisha, an in real life friend and I love this idea that she shares in her post! I’m looking a forward to doing something like it with Munchkin when she gets older.  Curious to know more?  Keep reading!

Does your family have an annual December tradition?

We don't, yet. This year, I hoped to engage my 3 daughters in a Christmas-type daily activity - one that could potentially become a lasting tradition! However, I must confess that I am

a) not given to being creative (I am overly-practical, more serious than fun-loving, and a mathematician to boot. If it's not logical and/or productive, I'm not likely to think of it on my own) and
b) making messes with or for my daughters causes me to cringe a little (a lot, actually), and
c) I am very last-minute. As in, we started midway through the first week of December. (whoops.)

A few of my friends post photos of their daily Elf on the Shelf's antics, but my husband and I weren't terribly interested in going that route. Then I saw this pin about Kindness Elves, and really liked the idea!

So, the idea for our Kindness Calendar was born. And though we're not far into December, it has been a raging success with my daughters! It's not terribly messy, it's practical, it's great fun!, and costs as much or as little as you need it to.

Step 1: Create the calendar template. Ours was made with pink construction paper (E's choice) and black sharpie. Time invested: about 2 1/2 minutes. You could certainly print one out, or use posterboard, or...there are many possibilities.

Step 2: Fill in as many days as you want with the names of other people. I asked my girls who they would like to do kind things for. I did nothing to influence their answers; it was sweet to see who they thought of! A few friends, a few family members, and even people they run into in town (the librarian, for example!) They chose to fill up the entire month - I was glad to oblige because our days are not that busy. If you have a fuller schedule this time of year, do what works for your family. Maybe 2-3 days per week works better for you - this should be something to look forward to, not a burden or 'just another thing' to do.

Step 3: Help your kids brainstorm what 'kindness' is and looks like in action. Try to incorporate as many of their ideas as possible over the course of the month.

My girls came up with:
*baking bread/cookies
*making dinners
*sending cards in the mail
*drawing pictures/painting art
*picking some of their good toys to wrap up and give as presents
*creating jewelry
*calling on the phone to say hi

Step 4: Spread kindness! Today's activity was to make a loaf of cranberry-orange-almond bread for one of the young ladies at church whom they just adore (she's 12, and is such a blessing to our family!). Elizabeth did almost all of the mixing, pouring, and sprinkling the almonds on top. Abby made her a card. We'll deliver it tomorrow if we're able!

But wait!
What if I don't have kids?
You can make a kindness calendar for yourself! Even if it's setting aside one day each week to write a note, or buy flowers for, someone who has been on your mind. Or, if you're blessed to live close enough to a niece or nephew/grandchild, why not offer to start this up with them? It's a win-win - kindness to others and bonding time for you & some of your favorite young people!

What if we don't have a budget for this?
We don't have much of a budget, either. Maybe $2-3 per week from the grocery budget to spare, and another few dollars for postage. But even resolving to let your children make a phone call or send an email to a loved one will definitely brighten a day - for free!

What if we've already got too much on our plate right now?
Don't do it now! Entertain the notion of a Kindness Calendar in January or February - or any other time of year? Kindness isn't just applicable during the holidays. :)

The Christmas season serves as a reminder in our family that the loving kindness of God, and His great mercy toward us, is why Jesus left the glory of Heaven for the helpless form of a newborn baby. When we make showing kindness and serving others a lifestyle, we offer a glimpse of Jesus to the people around us!

Practicing kindness,
for His glory!
~Lisha


Lisha has been married to Will for 9 1/2 years and has been a mom for almost 8 years to four children: three precious daughters here and a little one in Heaven! She blogs over at the 'Blish, hoping to lift high the name and grace of Jesus while encouraging others as she embraces her roles as wife, mom, homemaker, homeschooler, & redeemed and beloved daughter of the King.

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Patience is the Most Important Virtue

I have my last guest post for you today!  I’ve been following Amanda’s blog for a few years now and I’ve enjoyed watching her son grow.  She shares some great thoughts with us today.

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Amanda is a full time working mom of a VERY active toddler, born in 2010. She has been the wife of an Army National Guardsman since 2008. Originally from Michigan, she traded Mid-West living for big city life in 2000 when she moved to NYC. Currently living in New Jersey, she is balancing her full time job, keeping her family in order, and preparing for their first deployment later this year. In her free time she enjoys spending time with family, cuddling with her kitties, cross stitch, photography, and blogging.  You can find her at The Calm Before the Storm.

Patience is the Most Important Virtue

When being a parent that is... We’ve all heard the comments about how you never knew you could love someone so much until you have children. Since the birth of our son, Marshall, in 2010 I am definitely not going to dispute that claim. But, what I have found is one of the most important things I’ve learned since The Marsh joined our little family is you need a whole lot of patience! And yes, I’ve found myself humming the song by Guns ‘n’ Roses many times over the past few months.

When Marshall was in the 0 – 12 month age range, I kept thinking “Well this is a piece of cake!” He was so easy to handle, did everything I wanted him to do, and was generally in a good mood all the time. Marshall turned 1 on October 30^th, 2011. The fact that the next day was Halloween seemed appropriate because that seemed to be the turning point when Zombie Baby started to appear!

Out of the blue, he started biting people. I bruise fairly easily so my arms literally looked like someone had beat me with a stick thanks to all the bite marks. And it only got worse from there. Marshall has a pretty strong personality so when he doesn’t get his way, Zombie Baby comes out! In addition to the biting there is now pinching, head butting, pushing, throwing, hitting, kicking, and screaming. I’ve been told that he might be going through his terrible twos a bit early. Of course he is! So now, all we can do is ignore him while he has his little meltdown and then, usually within a couple of minutes he is fine and forgot what he was screaming about in the first place.

So, that being said, a few things I’ve learned about patience and the Zombie Baby:

1. When you tell him “no”, he will look right at you and do it anyway. All you can do is just reiterate over… and over… and over… and over what he isn’t supposed to be doing.

2. Try to refrain from reacting to the tantrums. I’ve found that the more I react, the more crazy he gets because now he’s getting all of my attention. And, in reality, isn’t that what they really want in the end?

3. There is no use in getting upset when he takes his bowl full of pasta and marinara sauce and flips it over onto the floor. Apparently this is normal toddler behavior… who knew? We just try to keep an eye on him and sprint for the bowl when we see it lifted above his head. Sometimes we miss and sometimes our white cat ends up with marinara all over his head.

4. Don’t get too embarrassed when the tantrum is happening in the middle of your supermarket. If there are other parents around, they won’t judge because they’ve been there. And, for the people who do judge, someday they’ll be in the same spot watching their kid have a tantrum and realize there isn’t much you can do about it. I usually just let him sit in the middle of the floor and have his meltdown. After a few minutes he’s fine and we can move on.

5. You’ll learn to recognize the differences between a true meltdown and one that is happening because he is tired. If Marshall has missed his nap or has had a lot of activity during the day, when we put him in bed while he is having his screaming fit, he is usually asleep within a few minutes. Unfortunately, I, too, am usually asleep within a few minutes right along side of him J

People will always focus on the bad or challenging aspects of a situation. In my own opinion, watching Marshall grow up everyday definitely outweighs the trying times when Zombie Baby makes an appearance. Just to name a few:

1. The excitement he has when we pick him up from day care.

2. How fascinated he is with every little thing put in front of him.

3. He loves to give hugs and kisses.

4. Baths are awesome!

5. His favorite thing to do in the evenings is help feed the kitties and put the recyclables in their bins.

6. He loves to cuddle on the sofa with a good bottle of milk.

7. When he wants to bring us something he will hold out his hand and say “stay” so we don’t move before he’s ready for us.

8. He has to sit on Daddy’s lap and help back the car out of its parking spot before we can put him in his car seat.

9. One of his favorite games is to point at a group of objects, and say “no” to everything we point at.

10. The other day he was looking in a mirror and then turned around as it checking out his behind! Good thing he has a cute little behind!

While I don’t want my baby to grow up because it is happening way too fast, I’m excited to watch him learn and grow over these next few years. In the end, not only do you need to have the patience to handle the craziness of raising kids, but you also have to have the patience to recognize and enjoy all the good things that come with the bad.

The Hippie Stuff

I’m coming back soon, I promise!  Just a few more guest posts for you.  I think this is one that I’ll be able to write in a few months…we are wanting to try many of these things with Munchkin!

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Hi, I'm Chantal and I write at Scattered Seashells.  I've been married to Brandon for 4 years, as long as he's been in the Army, and we have a 6 month old, Penny. We're currently stationed at Fort Rucker while he goes to flight school. I love blogging and reading what others have to say! Thanks for letting me guest post!

I’m what you’d describe as a “crunchy mom.” I don’t like labels, though; I just say I’m into all kinds of hippie-stuff!

A few years ago, I wasn’t like this. I was a processed-food-eating, working-mom, send-my-kids-to-public-school kind of girl. Well, things change a lot when you have a baby.  Suddenly, I didn’t want an epidural and took classes to go for that natural birth (which
ended up as a c-section because of a breech baby… but that’s a whole other story). We  weren’t so sure about vaccinations, and so far our baby hasn’t had any shots. We are even doing baby-led weaning and skipping purees altogether! We do some baby-wearing, when she tolerates it!

Those are some of the more extreme “hippie” things we do. Basically, looking at us, we’re your normal family. We just buy all-natural and organic foods, a big switch we made a few years ago for health reasons, and we like to keep everything as natural as possible. We do what feels right for our family.

One of my favorite things to do with babies is diapers. Yep, I’m obsessed. I looooveee cloth diapers and I’m not afraid to tell you about them! If you haven’t messed with them before, they can seem a bit daunting. Who doesn’t want to just roll their diaper up and throw it in the trash?

Let me tell you, cloth diapers are far from difficult. They’re just like disposables but we’re saving so much money! We have spent maybe $350 on diapers and diaper equipment, and that’s it. And we aren’t hippie enough to worry about the environment tons, but just knowing that those chemical-filled poopy diapers won’t be sitting in a landfill is enough for me to feel pretty happy.

Oh, and they’re pretty cute, huh?

I could go on and on, but you could just check out my blog for all the scoop on what we do. This “hippie stuff” really works for our family and I love it. Having a baby can be so fun because of all the opportunities it opens you up to!

A Big Sister’s Take on Parenting

I promise I’ll be back soon for good!  I still have a few guests posts for you though.  I hope you enjoy this one from Mel, who’s going to share some thoughts as a big sister.

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My name is Mel and I blog at Head in the Game, Heart in the Sand. I am excited to be here today at Many Waters and share my insight with you. I hope I can provide a unique perspective to the parenting world and although it might not work for everyone, maybe I can help someone, somewhere. Thank you for reading!

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When I was five years old, my baby sister was born. I instantly assumed the role of big sister extraordinaire and let me tell you, that was one of the best days of my life. Many years later, my three half-siblings came along and I am blessed to be the oldest of 5! My sisters are 23, 14 and 11 and my baby brother is 5 years old – needless to say, our house is a total zoo come Christmastime! I do not yet have kids of my own, but I have learned quite a few lessons in my many years of big-sistering. I am going to share those tips with you today.

1. Every child is completely different from every other child. Every child needs different things and grows and learns in different ways. Parenting is not one-size fits all.

2. Nor is parenting stagnant. It is ever-changing and shifts as kids’ needs and wants change. Flexibility is the cornerstone of parenting.

3. Living by example is key. Children watch every single thing we do and they do not forget. Providing an example of morality, maturity, and mutual respect are the best ways to raise and mentor good kids.

4. Bad habits will be passed down. Because children watch everything we do, this goes for bad habits as well. Swearing, unhealthy eating, and bad TV habits will be adopted by children if they continuously witness that behavior.

5. Children need constant stimulation. Kids need a variety of activities in order to grow and learn throughout their lives. Providing an outlet for artistic expression, athleticism, musical ability and any array of interests allows kids to be well-rounded adults.

6. Parents will screw up at some point. Thankfully, kids are forgiving and understand that parents are people too. Recover by admitting the mistake and correcting the behavior, once again leading by example so the children do the same.

7. Love is not enough. Children also need rules, guidance, discipline and other structure in order to learn, grow and become happy, healthy adults.

8. But love does heal all. When times are rough and wounds are open: love. When times are good: love. Above all else, love each other and oneself.

A Wife’s View

I have a treat for you today.  My guest post comes to you courtesy of Cat, a fellow sub wife.  Sometimes I feel like sub wives are few and far between so I love finding them.  I can relate to what she has written on so many levels!  I hope you enjoy her guest post.  

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Cat is a Navy submariner’s wife and new mom to baby Cora.  She spends her time breastfeeding, cloth diapering, singing, baking, volunteering, and blogging about these adventures and others at Cartwheels & Windmills.  Her husband is separating from active military service very soon.




Hi everyone!  I’m Cat, and I love reading Poe’s blog because of our many similarities.  Just like Poe, my husband and I are not from the same state, so there is no mutual “home” to return to when he separates from this Navy lifestyle next month.  And unlike Poe, we don’t plan on staying where the Navy has landed us.  While our current home of Pensacola, Florida, may be touted as “the Cradle of Naval Aviation,” it certainly is not “the Cradle of High-paying Jobs for Former Submarine Officers.”  So instead of those options, we are treating this almost like another PCS, just with more control, more money spent out of our own pockets, and about the same amount of stress.

My husband’s job search has been a big adventure, but I, personally, have very little to do with it.  So instead I want to focus on what his military separation means to me.  For one, I can only call myself a Navy submariner’s wife for just a few more months. It all goes away August 31.   For the past few years, I’ve let his military service define our relationship and also myself.  I met him after he had already joined, so immediately I was a Navy girlfriend, then I “got promoted” to Navy wife, a milspouse, a subwife, etc.  What will I be now?  A veteran’s wife?  (But wasn’t he already a veteran while on active duty??)  A Reservist’s wife?  (Actually, we flip-flop a lot about him going that route.)  A former milspouse?  (Doesn’t that sound like we got divorced?)  I guess it’s not the best idea to define yourself in terms of someone else, but when your primary roles are wife and mother, it’s hard not to do precisely that.  Since there are at least a billion other women with the “wife and mother” title in this world, it’s nice to find a niche.  Many define themselves as a “crunchy momma” or a “Christian mother”—perhaps I will adopt a moniker along those lines.

Aside from a change in title, what else does this military separation mean for me?  Well, for one, a slight loss of security.  A lot of military spouses might say they feel insecure about certain things, like moving dates, deployments, and the like.  But there is stability to this lifestyle.  There are family support centers, financial assistance programs, and a community of people in the exact same situation as you.  There are rules, standards, and reasons that make life easier.  In my husband’s job, he generally doesn’t have to question someone’s motives, and dishonesty and corruption are reprimanded accordingly.  My husband currently cannot get fired on a whim, leaving us without income or insurance at the drop of a hat.  Wrongful termination, harassment, embezzlement--this kind of stuff happens in the civilian world, often being covered up or with a lot of finger-pointing.  Other jobs normally don’t require each employee to take an oath before their first day, so that stability is now lost.

This separation also means a possible forever home.  I know many who would love to stay in one place, but I’m not sure I’m one of those people.  The Navy actually kind of put a damper on my nomadic lifestyle.  I moved to Jacksonville, FL, on my own after finishing college in my home state of Georgia.  I had originally planned on checking out life as a west coaster and perhaps even trying another country for a bit.  However, I met my husband that year and decided to move to Norfolk, VA, to be near him.  As much as we tried to make the west coast or another country happen, the Navy had other plans for us.  I have officially spent my whole life living below the Mason-Dixon Line and east of the Mississippi.  And now we’re trying to keep it that way, since our families are in that vicinity.  To be honest, it kind of freaks me out.  But at the same time, I’m excited to settle in somewhere for real and even buy a house after a bit.  (Don’t pity us too much, as we have had the opportunity to travel both in and out of the country, and I hope for that to continue.)

As much as I’m looking forward to never having to deal with another underway, deployment, or duty night ever again, there are a few perks of this lifestyle that I will miss. My top three: a free gym, commissary shopping, and free healthcare.  If you’re a milspouse, never ever take any of those for granted (especially that last one, just trust me).  Even though I will miss these things, I am ready to move on and start our civilian life!

What would you miss about military life?

Homemade Baby Food

   

I have another guest post for you today.  Megan is going to be sharing how she makes baby food from scratch, something I'm hoping to do.  Thanks so much for taking over my blog for the day Megan!

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Hey there! Poekitten asked me to write up a little blurb for her awesome readers, while she is out having a baby, and stuff! So hey! My name is Megan and I blog over at The Memoirs of Megan. My husband got out the Navy back in 2009, and we have finally settled back in his home state of Colorado. It's a big change for this Southern California gal! I write about my daily family life, and anything else that pops into my head, which is usually fairly random. Thanks for having me!

I love looking back into the parent that I thought that I would be, once upon a time. I never dreamed that I would be a breastfeeding advocate type, or a cloth diapering type, or an organic baby food making type. Most of my decisions start off with money, I have to admit. Formula is crazy expensive. Hence why (initially) I was so pro-breastfeeding. (Now, I couldn't imagine feeding my child anything else. It's been so special for us.) I had a major case of sticker shock the other day when I had to go buy a pack of diapers at Target. (Usually, we order them subscription from amazon.com, so I never really noticed how expensive they are. I have a bad habit of thinking that money is more like monopoly money when I purchase things from the internet.) So I ended up purchasing cloth diapers right away, after that whole fiasco.

 But one thing was always clear to me, I was going to make my own baby food. Now, I don't have anything against feeding a baby something from a jar, don't get me wrong. The important thing is checking the ingredients with jarred foods, as many times baby food companies put many forms of artificial ingredients/preservatives/food coloring/"vitamins" into baby food. I have found some really great organic baby food companies, however, a typical "meal" consisting of a jar (many come in plastic packs or pouches now) usually will cost upwards to $1.25 per item! Times that by the three times a day she eats, and that's looking pretty pricey. So I will take you through my process of making baby food, for a fraction of the cost.

 


Step one: Read up! Educate yourself to know about nutritional components of certain foods. Many times frozen veggies are an awesome option available, if you don't have fresh produce available. I HIGHLY suggest this book, it's amazing. It tells you the Top 20 fruits/veggies that you should always buy organic. It also has a ton of really awesome combo recipes for once your baby is at that point.

 


Step Two: Prep time. Have your plan of attack ready. I will typically "bang out" 5-6 different fruits and veggies at one time, and have enough food servings in the fridge/freezer to last her about 2-3 weeks. I also love my Baby Bullet, though any food processor will work. Give yourself plenty of time to do this. Have your husband watch the baby for a while- nothing sucks more than having a baby who is screaming louder than the food processor.

Step Three: Delivery. It took a while for me to be "ok" with the fact that my daughter hates certain foods. For example, I've been photobombing you with my beautiful peas. What I won't show you is my daughter making a horrible gag face and *literally* grabbing the spoon and throwing it on the floor. She HATES peas. And you know what? That's ok. Lesson learned, don't make 2 weeks worth of peas without a trial-run first. It hurt my cheap soul to dump the peas down the drain after the first week of her hating them

.


Step Four: Having the right equipment to make it as portable as possible was key for me. Being able to throw a serving of food in my diaper bag was key, because I am all about convenience. That's why making a batch and separating them into smaller servings is super important to me, and having this be a successful thing in my house. So these are just some things that I think about: $1.25/jar x 3 meals a day x appx 6 months of feeding "baby food" = $675 total. So far, I have spent about $100 total, and she's been eating food for 4 months. And there is one huge ingredient that comes in my purely organic baby food that Gerbers doesn't have: love.

Have you made your own baby food? 

Was it a fun experience, or something you'd rather never do again?

Is this something you'd see yourself possibly doing?  

Thoughts on Breastfeeding

I have another wonderful blogger for you today!  Please give Rheanna a warm Many Waters welcome (in the form of lots of comments!)  She’s going to share some thoughts on breastfeeding with us. I found her words to be encouraging and I hope you do too!

***

Hi everyone, my name is Rheanna and I blog at Cammo Style Love.  I'm an Air Force wife, married in August of 2004. I have three children and we are now East Coasters! I'm a SAHM that likes to watching black and white movies, reading books and crocheting. I'm a total history nerd, which makes living in the greater DC Metro Area a dream come true! I'm also a mom that struggled with breastfeeding.


You know, you dream of having your kids. You think of their names, what they might look like and just how much fun a little snuggly baby is. I did all those things. I thought of how my pregnancy would go, what my delivery would be like and how I would breastfeed. Being an all natural mama wasn't my thing. I appreciated those that went natural in their childbirth, but it wasn't a conviction I had. For the most part that wasn't an issue. Of course, as with all things people felt the need to tell me how they felt and that was fine. I spent time being totally annoyed internally but whatever, to each his own and I tried not to let it bother me. Breastfeeding on the other hand was something that was important to me. It was a conviction and I totally expected everything to be fine. I heard plenty of things about how its wonderful and how good it is for the baby, breast is best, formula is evil and the like. Stuff I'm sure everyone has probably heard. What I didn't hear was the struggles people have. People had told me that they didn't like it, or they didn't want to, but NO ONE spent any kind of time talking about it being a struggle to do.

And then it was. I had inverted nipples, which made latch hard. Not just hard, but HAAAARRRDDD! It hurt, it bled, I cried it was horrible. I kept hearing over and over in my head, "if you're doing it right it won't hurt." And so the downward spiral began. I was doing it wrong, I couldn't do it, what was I doing. Do you see all those "I's" in there? It was a Rheanna Beat Down. Bawling my eyes out in the hospital from exhaustion, and emotions and frustration, was not how I imagined that I would be spending my time post baby.

So, I forfeited. It was only a partial forfeit, but in my head it was a complete one. A failure, that's what I was. All those people that had made their opinions known before I had my son, were there now making those same opinions known loud and clear. And why I could only hear them when I had other people that were so loving to me, including my dear sweet husband, I have no idea. It isn't until you have an issue that you suddenly meet people and learn that other people you know have had that same issue! I couldn't believe it and I began to get slightly more encouraged. We weren't alone out there. I ended up going 100% formula when Brian was about two months old. Fast forward about two years to baby number two. Again, I heard the normal "opinions" being shared. It was easier this time around, but still hard. I got a super de duper pump and pumped and pumped. A friend also shared fenugreek with me.
 
I made it six months! Even still, the things people say will never cease to amaze me. I still believe that most of the mean words came from a place of total ignorance. They don't know, they've never been
there. If they were or had been, they might have kinder and gentler words to say. If you can believe it I actually had people say to me, "Well, you weren't trying hard enough." Those words just cut me to to the quick. One of my all time favorite things was when someone said, "I just can't imagine how God could let that happen?" In reference to my inability to feed my child. Do I really have to argue this point?

Now baby number 3 is 7 months and I'm still breastfeeding more than 50% of the time. I know that I could have done it 100% of the time if I didn't let the stress of things get to me. This time I combined fenugreek with the amazing Mother's Milk tea and saw a huge improvement in my milk supply! I was more focused and dedicated. It hurt less when I started out, which helped. Most importantly I was strong within myself. I really could care less what anyone has to say. I still get a little mad and frustrated when I hear people say stupid things, but it doesn't get me down. Spending my time talking about breastfeeding in a "realistic and encouraging way" has become a focus for me. We have to stick together. Being uplifting and encouraging, and circling the wagons if you will, is the way to be as far as I'm concerned. Maybe the thing isn't the breastfeeding, or the natural childbirth, or the epidural or the formula. Maybe its the fact that women, and mother's have become so divisive. We aren't supportive or encouraging. The rise of the Green Movement and stores like Whole Foods, and the trendiness of it all and the "coolness" of it has, in my ever humble opinion, made things worse. Instead of just letting people be responsible for themselves, everyone is in everyone else's business.

If someone feels strongly about something they feel the need to not only act upon this for themselves but shove it down every one else's throat. You find it in everything - anti formula, anti-disposables, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, natural child birth, healthy eating, no parabens. Its become crazy! Instead of focusing on what brings us together, our children, we've become too focused on all those other things and are becoming more and more at odds with each other. The other day I heard a lady going on and on about cloth diapers and how its so much better for baby because of the toxins and the chemicals and all that good stuff. Found out later, she never breastfed and didn't want to. Fine by me, you do what you want to do. But it was the way she said it. She was so focused on the lecture of chemicals in the diapers that it was confusing to someone who had heard the lecture of the evils of formula. I’m cloth diapering, and I had been turned off by it for so long by the lectures and the intensity of people that I never even wanted to spend time looking at it. It was the kind, loving, every day normal conversations with a dear friend that led me to make the change to cloth. It was the kind and loving words of my husband and another friend that helped me keep trying the breastfeeding with each baby.

I am proud to say that I am a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, baby wearing mama who goes to McDonalds and has a slight addiction to Dr. Pepper. But shouldn't that be okay? Should that divide me from other mother's? If I could wish for one thing for the world, in my most Miss Teen USA voice and with my most beauty pageant-esque smile....I would wish for mother's to band together! To support each other in motherhood. To help each other out with the struggles of raising kids, with working through the different phases. To help each other get through the tough seasons in life when you don't think your children will every sit still and behave! That's what I wish!

If you every have any questions or what to learn more about struggling with breastfeeding and/or cloth diapering come over to Cammo Style Love or email me at cammostylelove@yahoo.com

What I Wish I Had Known...

I have another great guest post for you today!  Jamie is going to share some advice with you that she wishes someone had shared with her when she was pregnant.

***

Hello! My name is Jamie, and I am an Army Wife and SAHM to my sweet baby girl, Adelei!
I blog over at This is Me; Consequently, but I’m guest posting here today to tell you some things that I only wish someone would have told me when I was expecting!

First of all, the basics….
 
Start buying the basics early on [when you have coupons or find sales!!]. These include diapers, wipes, baby shampoo, soap, lotion, & diaper rash cream. I suggest using diapers.com or amazon.com/mom to buy diapers & wipes in bulk. They are always having sales or e-coupons, & it is the easiest/cheapest way to go in the long run. I started out by buying 1 case of diapers & 1 case of wipes every pay period. I bought 2 cases of each size up to size 4.

Speaking of coupons…
There are a ton of websites that Mom’s should register on. Here are a few of my favorites. You will get coupons galore!
beechnut.com
gerber.com
similac.com*
huggies.com
pampers.com
Thebump.com
 
*Even if you plan on breastfeeding, you should still sign up for this JUST in case you have to supplement. You’ll already have your coupons & vouchers for emergency use.

Wow, babies are expensive & sensitive…
 
A lot of people will tell you to use Dreft to wash the baby’s clothes in, but there are a lot of different hypoallergenic laundry detergents that you can use. Dreft is the most expensive at around $10. Purex has one [in a white bottle] that costs $2.50 at the commissary for the 32 load bottle. This lasts forever! Also borax [20 minute mule] is sold at Walmart for somewhere around $4 a box & you definitely need to get this. If you have some clothes/blankets/burp cloths that gets spit up or formula on it, you can soak them in the sink just put enough water to completely cover the clothes add a handful of borax & let it sit for 20 or 30 minutes & the stains will come out. This even works if the stains have been there for a few days.

Ooh, the good life…
 
There were several things I thought I HAD to have for the baby just because the store sold it. For example, wipe warmer, bottle warmer, baby swaddling wraps, microwave bottle sterilizer, and spinning drying rack for bottles. Don’t fall for it. These are what I call ‘luxury’ baby items. Learn from my mistakes & save your money!
That about wraps it up! If you have any questions regarding things mentioned in this post, please feel free to email me at jaksart at rocketmail dot com

Do you have any new mom advice?

New Mommy Advice

Hello dear readers! I have another wonderful guest post for you today.  Madeline is going to share with us some new mommy advice.  Much of what she says piggybacks off of Whitney's post.  I'm loving the wisdom these women are sharing and I hope you are too!

***

Hi friends!  My name is Madeline and I blog over at Food, Fitness, and Family.  I love to write about yummy eats, sweaty workouts, and life as a family of three.  I am so excited for Poekitten and would like to officially welcome her to the “mom club”.  As someone once said, to be a mom is to have your heart outside your body and is entirely true.  What is even truer is just how fast time goes.  I would like to say I’m a new mom too but I am not sure if at 9-months in I still qualify but I would like to think I do ;)

As I said, my daughter Emmalyne is 9-months now and I am not exactly sure where time went.  The first couple of weeks when you are running on perpetual sleep deprivation and are just trying to survive make you think that time is at a stand still, however that is not the case.  You blink and your sweet, defenseless newborn baby is on the brink of toddlerhood and you wonder what happened.  So, I would like to impart on you, some words of wisdom that I wish I had known 9-months ago.


1. Smell your baby as often as you can. That newborn smell only lasts for a short
period of time.


2.  Embrace the middle of the night feedings.  It’s easy as a new mom to resent having to wake up in middle of the night and longing for a good nights rest.  Embrace those moments of complete quiet and relish in it.

3.  Let your baby nap on your chest.  Yes, a routine is important and getting them into their crib imperative for good habits, but those chest naps are also fleeting.  Emmie wants nothing to do with them now and I miss them like crazy.

Napping on Daddy –  2 weeks old

4.  The dishes can wait.  While I am not condoning living in squalor I do think that taking some pressure off the first couple of weeks is important.  One you need your rest and two refer to the above.  Time is precious.  Better yet?  If you can afford it get a cleaning service for the first month.

5.  Take photos and videos of everything.  I got the photo part down but not going to lie I slacked on the videos.  And I completely regret it already.  No matter how small something is remember it is a first.  There are only so many firsts in life and many of them are in this first year.

Emmalyne’s 1^st Christmas – 3 months old

6.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Whether that means seeking out guidance in breastfeeding from a lactation consultant or asking someone to watch your baby so you can shower don’t be afraid to reach out.  Your family and friends WANT to be there for you.  Let them be.

7.  Remember your spouse.  As moms we like to be in charge.  Remember that your spouse needs bonding time too.  Cut out a special part of the day just for your spouse.  For us, it’s bedtime.  Emmie gets one bottle a day from her daddy and he puts her to sleep.  It gives me a break and him some quiet time with our daughter.

8.  Get out of the house.  Seriously.  Too many new moms find themselves rarely leaving home.  I can’t tell you the good that some sunshine and fresh air does for your mood.  I make a point of getting out of the house every day and have since Emmie was born.  Whether that is to go to the gym, run some errands, or just go on a walk I make sure we have something small to do.  She loves it and mommy needs it.

Picking pumpkins …  3 weeks old

9. Be confident.  Your instincts are probably right.  You are going to get advice (yes, this is ironic since my post IS advice) from every direction.  Choose what works best for YOUR baby.  Be confident in your choices.  You don’t need to defend yourself to anyone.  You will know your baby best.

10.  Know it keeps getting better and better.  I find myself saying all the time THIS is the best age.  Motherhood gets more and more amazing every single day.

Emmalyne and Mommy – 8 months old

Thanks again Poekitten for letting me be here today.  I wish you lots of love, luck, and happiness as you begin this new adventure in life.  I can’t wait to see what lies in store for you and your sweet family.

Welcome to Motherhood

I have some wise words for you today.  Whitney is sharing some of her insights with you.  I know I will be coming back to this post for encouragement!

***

Hi! I'm Whitney from Navy Beans. My story? Well, in a nutshell, I'm a Christ-follower, Navy-wife, Mama to 4 little beans. I have 3 girls (6, 4, 3) and 1 son (18 months).
Hopefully my thoughts on new-mama-hood are helpful.... :)

When I was a new Mama....

....I wish I had taken every. single. person. up on their offers for help.  And used that time to either snuggle my String Bean, or sleep.

....I wish I had slept more.

....I wish I had not resented the lack of sleep, lack of space, complete flip-up of my life. I wish that I had realized this phase of utter-exhaustedness was just a phase. And that it would be gone entirely too fast.

....I wish I had sought out help and advice and knowledge about breastfeeding, instead of thinking I would just be able to figure it out on my own.

...I wish I had listened when my Mom told me that I wasn't going to spoil my newborn girl by holding her all the time.  How I regret those moments where I put her down because I thought I should - not because I had no choice.

Now for some un-solicited advice to all you New Mama's out there (I like to think I have the stretch marks to make me credible!)......

I wish I had known the exhausted-beyond-belief-phase would be so brief.

When you are in it, those first 6 weeks are absolute torture.

You don't really sleep. Your body aches. You are mentally and emotionally drained by trying to learn a new human being that only cries. You wonder if you are doing anything right.

Are they eating enough?

Are they eating too much?

Is sleep bad?

What does that cry mean?

and on and on....

You can be plagued with doubt. With fear.

Realize exhaustion is not the end of the world. You will sleep again one day! It just won't happen for about 6 weeks. Not that you will sleep THROUGH THE NIGHT in 6 weeks....but you will either adjust to constantly waking up, or finally get one long stretch of sleep. (Which in newborn world, is about 4 hours.)

I promise you - in just a few short months, you will feel like a pro. Unfortunately, a pro in motherhood does not mean you are an expert. It does not mean you are perfect. It means you love someone more than you thought humanly possible. It means daily living with the needs of someone else before your own. It means constantly going before the Lord and asking Him for wisdom and grace.

Be specific.
This is a pet peeve of mine. When it comes time for people to bring you food - don't say "Oh! We like anything." If, in reality, you hate Mexican food. Because, odds are, you are going to get a whole lotta Mexican dishes. No one wants to put the time and effort into making a meal someone will loathe and/or not eat.  If you are particular, tell people exactly what you like!

You are not being a Diva.

You are being considerate.

Stock up of one-handed snacks
You will be holding a baby, rocking a baby, feeding a baby, diapering a baby, and kissing a baby, all day long. At some point, you need to eat! I buy a pack of large tortilla wraps and load whatever I was planning on eating into that. I have eaten stir-fry, casserole, chicken Cesar salad, (and everything in between!) in a wrap.  I throw a receiving blanket over the baby to catch any falling food, and eat. That way I don't waste time eating, when I could be sleeping! (Straws are actually great too. Less accidental mess on baby.)



Hug and snuggle your baby constantly. Wear them if you can!
I don't know what I would have done without my sling for those first 4 months. I folded laundry, put away groceries, did dishes, shopped, read stories, cleaned the house, went on walks, and even nursed with my sling! It is a life saver. If you have a munchkin who screams like their arms are being ripped off when you put them down - get a sling. Seriously. It often takes 2-3 days for them (and you) to be fully comfortable in it...but it is worth the effort! (I also use the Baby Bjorn and Snugli as they get older)

Sleep.
Seriously, don't sacrifice a chance to sleep. Use paper plates to save time on dishes. Let the house be a bit dirty. Don't go all over the place with the new baby. You need, really NEED, to sleep. So does baby.  You are not being selfish or a wimp. You are being an excellent Mommy.

You are taking care of yourself and your new baby - so take a nap.

Leave the guilt at the hospital.

Hydrate.
Drink more water than you thought humanly possible.  Twice. (Especially if you are breastfeeding)




Give your husband your vote of confidence.
He is just as nervous about becoming Daddy as you are about becoming Mommy!
He needs to know you are in his corner. He may will do things differently than you, and that is okay. He may not know all the things you have learned about newborns. Allow your husband the space to learn how to hold your little girl. Enjoy how he communicates with her - he doesn't have to do it like you! They will bond - but most of that depends on you. You need to share what you know in a way that builds him up.  My Love always went with the nurse to observe the first bath - and then when we got home, he taught me how to do it.

Ask for help/take people up on their offers.
One of the most valuable gifts I ever received? Folded laundry.  My Love knew I was overwhelmed when our 3rd was born...

(I mean, I did have a 3 1/2 year old, 19 month old, and a newborn, so that was probably obvious to everyone.)

...so he asked a friend to come help me out. While #3 and I were napping, my friend came in and folded my laundry, washed my dishes, and left dinner cooking on the stove.

I cried like a baby when I woke up.

With my first, I thought I could do it all. So I didn't reach out for help - I didn't ask for it, I didn't accept it - and I greatly regret that decision. It is such an amazing gift to be helped. Assume the person offering actually does WANT to help you! Let them go to the store - run an errand - bring you dinner. There is no shame in needing help.


Ask for help.
Yes, I know I already said this. However, now I'm talking about the really uncomfortable stuff. If you need help with breastfeeding - ASK FOR HELP.  Do not think you are a failure or incompetent. It is hard work. Breastfeeding is a very natural thing - but it does NOT come naturally. It takes a lot of support to be able to succeed. (And if it doesn't work and you end up using formula - you are not a failure then either.)


Ask for help if you are unsure of something with your munchkin - if they aren't sleeping well or spitting up or crying constantly. You are NOT a failure for needing help. EVERY mama needs help with their children! It does get easier as you get to know each other - but seasoned mama's have a larger arsenal of tools than a brand new one. AND they are actually sleeping at night. Seek their advice - you don't have to use it, but it will be so helpful to have.

Cut your body some slack.
You may be one of those rare people who slips out a baby and then *BAM* looks just like your pre-pregnant self. If you are - I may just have to start throwing things at you. If you are like the rest of womankind, be prepared for some serious jiggle. Your body just went through the war...don't expect it to look like your old self right away.  AND THAT IS OKAY. Personally, I avoid full length mirrors for at least 4 weeks after delivery....unless the lighting is really favorable and my milk has completely come in. That is actually not an unappealing silhouette. (This is all coming from a woman who gained a good bit of weight...55/55/35/25....I know about jiggle.) Try to remember that the first 3 months after having a baby - your hard work is not working out. It is learning that person; developing into "Mom;" learning how to breastfeed; understanding how your baby communicates; figuring out how your family works; even how to shower every 24 hours!

You will be able to work out again -

but allow yourself the space to prioritize other things for a little bit.

Above all - cut yourself some slack.
You will not be perfect. You will make mistakes. You will have regrets.  But eventually, all of these anxious moments will melt and you will realize motherhood becomes you.  That doesn't mean you will suddenly be secure in all your decisions - it just means that although you will not always make the right decision, you are always seeking to make the best one possible.

Welcome to motherhood...

the most exhausting, rewarding, challenging, amazing, and refining, role there is.

~Whitney
Copyright 2012

A Paper Pregnancy

Hello friends!  I have another great guest post for you today, this time from a slightly different point of view.  Armymomma is sharing how she became a mommy with us today in her first guest post.  Thank you for taking over my blog for the day!

***

Hi!  I am Armymomma.  I blog (rather infrequently) over at http://armymomma.wordpress.com/
I am married to a soldier.  I stay at home with my 2 kiddos, affectionately referred to as Thing1 and Thing2.  I also do in home child care.

Although I have 2 kids, I have never been physically pregnant.  Both of my boys were adopted.  So, I got to be paper pregnant.  I am going to share my very first paper pregnancy with you!

We started the home study in January 2006.  We worked our tails off and had everything completed and were officially waiting in March.  We were young, educated, childless, and attractive (or so the agency said) so we were told to be ready because we were going to get called right away.  From the day I found out we were home study approved and waiting, I never went anywhere without a phone.  Every time the phone rang, I thought, “This is it!”

March ended.  April came.  And went.  May came and went.  June began.  I was getting VERY frustrated by this point.  So, I began looking into other options.  I found another organization to work with.  They networked with agencies and dealt with situations where there were not enough families to present to the expectant mom.  (Some examples: some agencies have trouble placing kids of certain races. Kids with medical issues are harder to find families for.)

We signed on with the additional organization at the end of June.  On July 27, we got a call from that organization.  There was a little boy with a possible medical issue and the agency had no families available.  Were we interested?  I did some quick research and ran into my husband’s work to show him.  He listened and asked one question, “Are we bringing him into our home to watch him die?”  I assured him that the condition they suspected came with a normal life expectancy.  He said, “Then, let’s do it!”  (One of the many reasons I love this man!)

After a couple days of frantic phone calls, paper work, and travel, our son was placed in our arms on July 30, 2006.  He was 10 days old.  We walked in empty handed and walked out with a child.  As we drove away, we looked at each other.  I said something along the lines of, “This seems too easy.  Is this really our baby?”

It was quickly determined that our son did not have the condition that was suspected at birth.  Shortly after his second birthday, we found out he had a more serious and scary condition.  I am so thankful God hid that condition at birth because we probably would have said no to that call.  If you want to read more about it, feel free to check out my blog.

First Night Home

I have another great guest post for you today!  The lovely Steph from Watching Airplanes is going to share with you about her first night at home as a mom.  I’m sure many of you can relate!

***

Hello everyone!  My name is Steph and I blog at Watching Airplanes.  I'm 29 ish and a new mommy to our baby girl, Aubria.  She was born on April 30th.  My husband, Matt, was Active Duty Army, then Army Reserves, and is now in the National Guard.  He's pretty "special" but I wouldn't trade him or Aubria for the world.
First of all, thank you PoeKitten for allowing to post on your blog while you are away from it.  I wish you and your husband nothing but the best in your adventure of parenthood. 

******* 

 
Aubria (we call her Aubri, too) was born on a Monday morning at 7:47 a.m.  On Wednesday around noon, they said we could go home.  They didn't screen us to make sure we were fit parents.  They just gave us a few instructions on how to give her a bath and what her poop should look like and stuff like that.  Then they sent us on our way.

The first afternoon and evening went well.  She slept a lot.  I straightened up the house and my husband played in his garage for awhile.

Then came bedtime.  I had gotten a pretty pink bassinet at my baby shower.  It has toys, made womb sounds, and vibrates.  You know, the whole nine yards.  I thought, what baby girl wouldn't want to sleep in it.

Matt and I had decided that we were going to wake up with her together, feed her together, changer her together.  Well, that went out the window around midnight when she had already been awake three times.  Matt looked at me and said, "Babe, I can't. Can you take care of her and I will next time?"  I told him that was fine.
So, we alternated shifts.  Feed her. Changed her. Rocked her. Put her down.  Repeat.  At some point in the night, I woke up and found him asleep on the floor next to her bassinet, in our room, covered up with a baby afghan.  I was too tired to take a pictures but I should have.

Around 5:00 a.m., I texted my mom.  She had told us that if we needed anything to let her know and that she would come over the next morning.  I texted her and told her that we were up and to come over whenever she was ready.  She showed up around 6 and rang the doorbell a couple times before Matt heard it. (I never heard it.)  From what she told me later, Matt opened the front door in his boxers, hung his head, turned around and headed to the bedroom, and didn't say a word.  Mom took care of Aubri and let us sleep till 10:00 or so.

At some point the next day, we decided that maybe she hated her bassinet.  I had bought a rock -n- play to carry around from room to room and use in the camper.  So, we thought maybe we would try that the next night.  It cradles her more and I could rock her in it while laying in bed.  It was worth a shot.

The next night we put her in it she slept three hours at a time.  She's slept in it ever since.  She's actually sleeping in it as I type this.  I take it to the living room for her to nap in, she'll lay in it in the kitchen while we eat, and we've taken her camping and she's slept in it in the camper.  I would definitely recommend having one.  It was, by far, the best $50 investment we made in baby gear.

Congrats again to PoeKitten and family!  Hope your first night home goes smoothly!