Every time I see one of those "surviving a strong-willed child" posts going around, I can't help but smirk. Some of them are good, some of them make me shake my head, but all of them bring back memories.
All three of us - me, my sister, and my brother - were strong-willed. I'm not sure my parents saw it coming. And I can think of at least one instance where I got my way in something when I really shouldn't have :) Thankfully, even though I'm sure it was frustrating at times, my parents made the effort to preserve our strong wills while teaching us how to use them for good.
Remember that Disney movie Secretariat? Probably not, it didn't really go anywhere as I recall. But there's a subplot where the teenage daughter becomes part of the anti-war movement, much to the consternation of her less-political parents. Her dad wants to stop her from going to a rally, but her mom says to let her go. "Her politics will change, but I don't ever want her to stop standing up for what she believes in."
It's the difference between seeing your child as strong-willed, or seeing your child as stubborn. Obstinance, defiance, stubbornness, these are all obstacles. Whereas a strong will, well, strong wills properly disciplined and with the right trajectory, can change the world.
Now it appears I have a strong-willed child. How could it be any other way, being so fathered and so mothered (to butcher some Shakespeare). I kid you not, the neonatal nurses called her "The Fighter" - not because she was fighting against the odds or something like that (thank you, God), but because at less than 24 hours old, she resisted letting them do anything to her she didn't like. Even so far as to lock her knees and elbows to keep them from laying her on her belly. And, of course, coming a month early for apparently no reason except that she wanted to!
I know we've got some adventures ahead of us. Baby G has had her own opinion about things for her entire existence. It'll only get more interesting as she develops language and debate skills. But I'm also looking forward to it in a weird way. I guess I'm channeling my dad, who frequently reminded us, "I'm not raising my kids to be pushovers." I am looking forward to having the conversations with her I had with my parents. I'm looking forward to seeing her tell the world, "No, YOU move." And I'm looking forward to the day she realizes her Mama has just as strong a will as she does. ;)
JG is a writer, blogger, and Army wife who belongs to the grand land of Oklahoma. She loves red dirt, green skies, all things Disney, Sooner football and Gary England. She says, "Hey y'all" and "yeehaw!" She loves God, SoldierMan, Baby G, two crazy puppies, and blogs about it all at Me and My SoldierMan.
Woohoo - love seeing JG here :) I was also a strong-willed kid, and my parents knew when to put their foot down and when to let me have control. I now see it in my older two -- not yet sure how the baby will be. All of them have started out as easy-going babies.... only to surprise us as toddlers ;)
ReplyDeleteAhahaha. I was just thinking last night about how I never took naps as a kid and wondering if our (future) children will be the same way. I figured they probably will be, because that's how life is. I think my parents did a pretty good job of letting both of us be "strong willed" while encouraging productive outlets for our energy. Visiting from the Blogging Collective!
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