April 20, 2011

Secrets, Part I

Ever since Jessica's blog post I've been thinking about secrets.  We all have them.  Things that we don't talk about or share for various reasons.  Maybe we're shameful or afraid of how people will react or treat us if they knew. We often feel alone or think that no one would understand.  We look at the people around us and see perfect lives.  They have it all together.  On the flip side of that I think we like to have others think well of us so we share the things that will help them to like us.  Things that show people that we have it together.  When people look at us or read what we have written they think nothing can possible be wrong in our lives!  Oh, of course they have stress from moving or not having hubby around but other than that, life is great for them.  Maybe instead of saying we I should have said I.  What do you think?  Have you ever felt this way?

I'm writing this because it may seem like we have it all together.  Well, we don't.  We're a work in progress.  I'm going to share a secret of ours with you  (not to worry, I have permission from The Man!)  I have a few reasons for doing this.  One is so that others in the similar situation will know that they are not the only ones dealing with this.  Another reason is that God has been working in each of us and our family and I would like Him to receive the honor for that.  We have not worked through this alone.

Ok, deep breath.  It's harder to write than I thought it would be.  Once it's published and out there I can't get it back.  I have no control over who reads it...but here it goes...

Hi, I'm Poekitten.  I'm married to an alcoholic.

3 month coin
I've written and rewritten this part of the post several times.  I'm not sure where to go from here.  Start from the beginning?  Tell you about when he admitted he was a alcoholic?  Talk about the crisis it started?  I think I'll leave it at this for now and start the story of our journey in another post.

I'm happy to tell you that The Man has been sober for 5 months now.  I am so proud of him.  I watched him struggle and it was hard knowing that there was nothing I could do.  Nothing I could do but pray for him and support him.  I had to allow him to fail and that was hard for me.  I had to allow him to work through his treatment and hit his bottom before he was willing to be sober.  Even now it's one day at a time.  It will always be one day at a time.
Posted by Unknown at 9:37 PM
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19 comments:

  1. RenaeApril 20, 2011 at 9:53 PM

    sweet girl, thank you for sharing this.. you are SO right. Sharing stuggles in our lives is hard, and you think about what others would think about you. You never know what the other people are going though behind closed doors, and I think it good to get things out, to share our stories, not only to help someone else out, but for our own good. It's a good feeling to know that people are out there, supporting you, praying for you (even if you only know them though blogs). Like one of my recent post... it was hard to write that, let people know what I was REALLY going though, but it's been good for me. I really hope and pray talking/writing about this is good for you too.. God is Good.

    I'm praying for both you and 'The Man' and am happy to know he's getting better and is sober.

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  2. SierraApril 20, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    I know that was hard for you to write. Thanks for sharing. It is great that he's making progress and taking the steps for recovery but I understand there is a long road ahead.

    You have a lot of people who care about you so don't hesitate to let us know if you need any help.

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  3. JenApril 20, 2011 at 10:43 PM

    Thank you for sharing this deeply personal story. In October of last year I opened up on a story that I also did not like anyone to know. It was about the struggles in my family pertaining to my brother. I am so happy for your family that he is getting the help he needs, it is such a struggle for anyone to admit that they need help. I appreciate your honesty, I know it's hard to find the words to express the hard times in life.

    http://lionsandtigersandatoddler.blogspot.com/2010/10/rise-in-drug-use.html

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  4. UnknownApril 20, 2011 at 11:55 PM

    YAY for God's grace and mercy. YAY for your husband's progress.

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  5. Take All Chances - MissyApril 21, 2011 at 3:24 AM

    Thanks to both of you for sharing this. It must be something which is so difficult, to watch someone you love making those mistakes but to stick by them will mean more than anything in the world. Well done :-) Good luck with the future!

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  6. MichelleApril 21, 2011 at 5:32 AM

    You are a brave woman to hit that publish button. Sharing our deepest, darkest tidbits is hard to do. I'll be thinking about you guys. I think Jessica's post has affected a lot of us in some very profound ways.

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  7. MegilonApril 21, 2011 at 6:47 AM

    Thank you for sharing this. I know it wasn't easy and I also know it will help a lot of people. I'm proud of your husband! You two will be in my prayers.

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  8. RebekahApril 21, 2011 at 8:35 AM

    Thank you for sharing! We all have struggles and I have some that I'm not really willing to put on my blog, but they're there. I'm praying for you two!

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  9. MowenackieApril 21, 2011 at 9:10 AM

    I've been thinking a lot about this, too. Everyone has their own stories and sometimes it's hard to remember that. Especially when things seem hunky dory on the outside. I feel like compassion and forgiveness would be a little easier if we could keep this on the forefront of our minds.

    Thanks for sharing this. And congrats to both you and the man on 5 months.

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  10. AllisonApril 21, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    Poe,

    You are so brave!! I'm happy for you that you feel safe enough to let us in. You must have always felt like you were holding something back in your story telling. I hope saying out loud sets you free.

    With support, congratulations and prayers for continued success,
    Allison @ Keep Calm and Soldier On

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  11. gailApril 21, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    You know that me and the "peeps" are always praying for you guys. It's not easy to share this, but you are brave to do so and you know that HE has you in the palm of him hand. Remember in HIS time. "The Man" is doing soooo well and he loves you very much.

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  12. Roller CoasterApril 21, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    Thank you so much for sharing such a personal part of your life with us. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to cope with your husband's alcoholism, but it sounds like he's on the right track. Good for him! And he has such a wonderful supportive wife standing by his side!

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  13. Kim-A Creative SpiritApril 21, 2011 at 5:05 PM

    Oh sweetie. I am glad you shared.... and my prayers are with you and your dear husband.

    I know not by what methods rare, but I do know this, God answers prayer!!!

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  14. AthenaApril 21, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    I get so tired of everyone pretending that they have it all together. I prefer to be real, even if it is messy.

    Thanks for opening up and being willing to be real. Praying for both of you.

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  15. JoycersApril 21, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    I'm glad that you shared and will continue to pray for you both.

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  16. UnknownApril 22, 2011 at 12:27 AM

    I'm sure this was difficult to share, but it is great that you can open up about this. Good job to your husband for making it this far. The journey is on going, but with your love and support it sounds like he can make it work!

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  17. inesApril 22, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    I agree with the comments above...you are a brave women for writing this. I'm glad your husband is doing well.

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  18. Dana KApril 22, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    Congratulations on the sobriety! I have alcoholics in my family and it is not an easy road for anyone involved. This is also an epidemic in the military community. Thank you for being brave enough to speak up and to your husband for being brave enough to get help.

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  19. erikaJune 8, 2011 at 9:13 PM

    Such a brave post.

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