September

I’m not really looking forward to September this year.  The past two years it hasn’t been very nice to me.  September is starting to be synonymous with death and it has me wondering if someone is going to die this year too.  Morbid I know.

Two years ago my Granny died on September 15.  While it wasn’t expected it wasn’t totally unexpected either has her health wasn’t the best.  I went to Arkansas for the funeral and it was nice to have that closure.  It was also nice to see family that I hadn’t seen in years.  The sad thing is that I probably won’t see most of them until my grandfather’s funeral, which I’m praying won’t be for several years.

Then last year happened.  My dad died on September 21.  I can already tell it’s going to be a tough month.  Over Labor Day I was thinking about how mom had had to take dad to the hospital last year.  How they released him on Monday and how on Wednesday she had to take him back.  How I offered to fly out to help out, which I did on Thursday.  When this happened none of us expected it to end with daddy dead. 

As I sit here typing this my 7 week old daughter is sleeping in her bouncy seat.  She’s so peaceful and adorable.  There are days it just kills me that he never knew about her.  He would have loved her.  I know that without a doubt, that he would have loved her for no other reason than the fact that she’s mine.  He would have been so happy and proud.  Everyone he talked to would have known that he had a new granddaughter  He would have fought with my mom about holding her.  I know he’s in heaven and that he does love her and is so proud.  It’s just not the same. 

Well, someone just opened her eyes so I’m going to go take care of her.  What a beautiful distraction I have!