Putting Munchkin to bed tonight was more painful that usual. She didn’t nap today. She fell asleep while eating dinner so I know she was exhausted. I tried to move her to bed but she woke up. She didn’t want to go back to sleep right then so after a little more play time, a tubby and some warm milk, we headed to bed early.
You would have thought I was feeding her to wolves. She sobbed and screamed. I was laying right next to her as she cried for mama. If she could have opened up my chest and crawled in she would have. It felt like an eternity but in reality it was about twenty minutes. Somewhere in those twenty minutes an ungracious though ran through my head. I wondered if The Man and I are crazy because we want another child. We want another crying, screaming, clingy little person. I’m not sure I can handle more than one of these acting like this at a time. I’ve seen enough tweets from friends to know how crazy it can make you when you have two (or more) crying, screaming, clinging kids at once. It is entirely plausible that I’m crazy (I did marry a man who worked in a metal tube that submerged on purpose and slept next to a missile.)
Finally she quieted down. Then she fell asleep. Her cheeks were wet, her breathing even and she looked so sweet, so innocent in her sleep. With all the crying and screaming come cuddles and love. In the past eighteen months I’ve known more joy and love than I thought possible. Of course we want another bundle of crazy love. The Man and I agree that our family does not feel complete. Creating that new person could be interesting, given The Man’s crazy schedule, the fact that my mom lives with us and that Munchkin still sleeps in our bed. It will take some scheduling but it will be worth it.
It seems crazy to think that I want my life to be turned upside down. I do though. I want the crying, the screaming, the clinging, the joy and the love. The former will last for a short time but the latter? It will last a lifetime.
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