Preparing for Baby #2

When I was pregnant with Munchkin, my first child, I was researching everything.  I mean EVERYTHING…strollers, car seats, cloth diapers, carriers, high chairs.  You name it and I was looking into it.  It felt like I was making monumental decisions that would affect her for the rest of her life.  I know that if you’re a mom, you’re laughing at me and hopefully laughing along with me because you did the same thing.  I needed to look into all these things because we had NOTHING.  There was next to nothing child friendly about our house.  Over time through buying things. the generosity of hand me downs and family and friends at showers, our house slowly filled with baby items.  When you walk in our house now there is no doubt that a child lives here.  She’s left her mark on every room in the house, from her pillow on our bed, the bath toys in the tub, the sippy cups in the kitchen and the toys and books in her room and the living room.  Oh, and don’t forget the play structure in our back yard that you can’t miss when you park in our driveway. 

Snuggle That Baby

Munchkin has been extra snuggly lately (which is saying something) and one night recently as she snuggled and fell asleep in my arms, I realized how much I had missed that.  I loved it when Munchkin was a baby and would fall asleep in my arms or on my chest.  There is nothing as peaceful as watching your child sleep in your arms.  Nothing was as important as the snuggle time either.  The chores still got done eventually but the kiddo isn’t that little anymore.  I’m so glad I got those snuggles while I could!  I’m looking forward to having another little squish to cuddle.  We’re a cuddly family so we’re hoping that Punkin likes to cuddle and snuggle too.  I don’t think snuggling my kiddos will ever get old!

A Big Girl Bed & Weaning

With Punkin in the way, The Man & I knew that it was time to move Munchkin out of our bed.  We didn’t want to wait too long and have Munchkin think she was getting kicked by the new baby.  Plus we only have a queen and with a growing tummy, I need a little more room to move around and get comfy in.  My side of the bed is softer than Munchkin likes (we have a sleep number) so she would wake up often and roll into my side when I got up to go potty at night.  We just kept waking each other up.  I was a little sad to move her and I LOVE snuggling with her but I knew it was time.

Thoughts On Having Another Child

Putting Munchkin to bed tonight was more painful that usual.  She didn’t nap today.  She fell asleep while eating dinner so I know she was exhausted.  I tried to move her to bed but she woke up.  She didn’t want to go back to sleep right then so after a little more play time, a tubby and some warm milk, we headed to bed early.

You would have thought I was feeding her to wolves.  She sobbed and screamed.  I was laying right next to her as she cried for mama.  If she could have opened up my chest and crawled in she would have. It felt like an eternity but in reality it was about twenty minutes.  Somewhere in those twenty minutes an ungracious though ran through my head.  I wondered if The Man and I are crazy because we want another child.  We want another crying, screaming, clingy little person.  I’m not sure I can handle more than one of these acting like this at a time.  I’ve seen enough tweets from friends to know how crazy it can make you when you have two (or more) crying, screaming, clinging kids at once.  It is entirely plausible that I’m crazy (I did marry a man who worked in a metal tube that submerged on purpose and slept next to a missile.)

Finally she quieted down.  Then she fell asleep.  Her cheeks were wet, her breathing even and she looked so sweet, so innocent in her sleep.  With all the crying and screaming come cuddles and love.  In the past eighteen months I’ve known more joy and love than I thought possible.  Of course we want another bundle of crazy love.  The Man and I agree that our family does not feel complete. Creating that new person could be interesting, given The Man’s crazy schedule, the fact that my mom lives with us and that Munchkin still sleeps in our bed.  It will take some scheduling but it will be worth it. 

It seems crazy to think that I want my life to be turned upside down.  I do though.  I want the crying, the screaming, the clinging, the joy and the love.  The former will last for a short time but the latter?  It will last a lifetime.

 

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Motherhood Goals

I saw this topic come up on Monday on a couple of blogs I read and it made me stop and think.  What are my goals for motherhood?  The Man & I talk about things we’d like to/want to accomplish as parents but we don’t have them written down.  I’m going write them down and share them with you here.  They are in no particular order, just how they popped into my head.

1.  For Munchkin to know, follow & love Jesus

First and foremost I what I want is for Munchkin to know Jesus and follow him.  I want her to love him with all of her heart, soul and mind.  I don’t want her to believe because we do, rather I want her to make her faith her own.  I know the process won’t be easy but it will be worth it. 

2.  For Munchkin to know she’s loved

I want Munchkin to know how much she is loved.  I don’t want her to ever doubt our love for her or for her to think that there is anything she could do to lose it.  I also want her to know that she can come to me for any reason and I’ll still love her.  I might be disappointed in her choices but I’ll still love her.  NOTHING will ever change that!

3. To be patient

As Munchkin gets a little older, I know I’m going to need to be patient with her.  A child doesn’t do things as fast or as well as an adult.  I want to be able to allow her to take the time to learn and enjoy life.  I don’t want to be rushing her.  This one is going to be hard for me but it is something I think is important so I’ll work on it.

4. For Munchkin to be a reader

I love reading.  Part of the reason I love reading so much is that my mom loves reading.  Some of my earliest memories are of my mom reading.  I want that for Munchkin.  I want her to see me reading and I want her to love reading.  There’s nothing like getting lost in a great story!  We’re already talking about when we’ll read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to her.

5. To have a healthy marriage

I want my marriage to The Man to remain good and healthy and strong so our kiddos are secure.  I don’t want them worrying about us.  I want to give them a firm foundation and I think that having a good marriage is a part of that. 

6. To say YES

I have a tendency to say no a lot, especially at first.  As Munchkin gets older, I don’t want to be saying no everything she asks to do something.  I’d like to say yes more than I say no. 

7. To have Munchkin be a functioning, contributing member of society

When Munchkin leaves my house at 18, I’d like for her to know how to take care of herself and her future family.  She’ll be able to take care of a house (dishes, cleaning, laundry, etc).  I also want her to be able to think for herself, to not just follow along because everyone else it or someone else says too.  I want her to be able to object and articulate why. I’m not always so good at this but The Man is.  Daddy will be helping a lot with this one!

8. To be healthy & active 

I offer Munchkin healthy, nutritious, home cooked food.  I’ve also started exercising regularly.  Part of the reason I do these things is to be an example to Munchkin.  We only have one body and we need to take care of it!

9. To be present

It is easy for me to get caught up in everything that I need to, from dishes to laundry to cooking dishes to running errands.   I want to make sure that I take time to just be with Munchkin.  To play little people and read books now and to have late night talks and movies(or whatever) when she’s older.  I want to be that steady always there person that she knows she can turn to at any time for anything. 

10. To know the importance of family

Family is important.  Even though I don’t have siblings, I do have a cousin who is like my sister.  I’m so thankful for her and our relationship.  I also have other family that I’m close too.  I want Munchkin to be close to her family.  I hope that if she has any siblings that they will be close (though I have no idea how to go about encouraging that…we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.) 

11. To enjoy being a mom

I want to enjoy this crazy ride called motherhood.  So far it’s been harder than I ever thought it would be.  It’s also been so much more fulfilling and fun that I ever thought it would be.  So far I’ve enjoyed Munchkin being a baby.  As she moves into toddlerhood, I want to enjoy the now and not miss the past or get worried about what’s to come.  I guess this ties in with the last one, as I want to enjoy the now.  There are good and bad in each stage.  I think it’s much more productive to focus on the good than dwell on the bad.  (Feel free to check with me when she’s two though!) 

12. To have a happy childhood

Growing up, my family wasn’t rich but I had what I needed and a lot of what I wanted.  We didn’t take extravagant vacations every year and while I did have to wait to get a Nintendo, I did get one.  I was able to go to camp and do dance and swim lessons. I want Munchkin’s childhood to be like that.  I want her to enjoy being a kid.  I want her to have good, fun memories of growing up. 

 

These go for any other kids we have as well.  I just say Munchkin cause she’s the one that’s here at the moment!  And really, these are just the tip of the iceberg of what I want for Munchkin!  If I were to write them all down…I don’t think I could.

 

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Now that Munchkin is on the move, she’s hearing the word NO more often than she would like.  It’s amazing how quickly she can go from a happy baby to a screaming, crying one!  She’s too cute, even when crying.

 

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5 Minutes for Mom

The Difference A Year Makes

Right around this time last year we found out we were pregnant.  I vividly remember the emotions. There was disbelief at first, as I didn’t want to get my hopes up and then be wrong.  Once the pregnancy was confirmed by my doctor, there was excitement and joy at the thought of our baby, relief that I didn’t need any more infertility treatment, nervousness at the thought of actually being parents, some anxiety at the unknown and some sadness that my dad would never hold my baby.  That’s just scratching the surface.  It was the start of an incredible roller coaster ride. 

Now that we have our baby girl and she’s three months old, I can’t imagine life without her!  The Man and I were saying the other night that we weren’t sure what we did before we had her.  She’s amazing and incredible and we are so very much in love with her.  She’s a daddy’s girl and loves it when he holds her.  She loves to watch football with him and life is good when he’s around.  She also love mommy lots.  I love seeing her face light up when I come into the room after being gone for a little bit.  She’ll follow me with her eyes if someone else is holding her.  She also sleeps better when she’s touching me. 

When you’re expecting, you have these images of what motherhood will look like.  For me it was snuggling with a sleepy baby, talking to a smiling baby, watching Munchkin ride her bike for the first time, taking her to Disney.  While I knew that babies cried, sometimes a lot, it was not something I pictured.   There have been nights when she has done nothing but fuss and cry.  Thankfully they are few and far between but the ones we have had have been enough to hurt my mommy heart.  I hate hearing my child cry.  I hate not being able to figure out what’s wrong.  Those times have been enough to make me extremely thankful for my happy baby girl.  The hard times make the other times sweeter.  Without the difficult times I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good.

We love being parents. Even with the fussiness and exhaustion, it’s wonderful. Well, The Man might not think it’s wonderful when I snap at him because I’m exhausted. It’s been an opportunity for me to grow in asking for and receiving forgiveness. I’m thankful that my husband loves even when I’m cranky! He’s also blessed me by allowing me to sleep in and in allowing me to nap without the baby. He’s a dad that loves his daughter and enjoys spending time with her.

I think I’m rambling now so I’ll leave you with one more adorable photo of Munchkin.  I get to see this cuteness everyday and  I love it!

A Big Sister’s Take on Parenting

I promise I’ll be back soon for good!  I still have a few guests posts for you though.  I hope you enjoy this one from Mel, who’s going to share some thoughts as a big sister.

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My name is Mel and I blog at Head in the Game, Heart in the Sand. I am excited to be here today at Many Waters and share my insight with you. I hope I can provide a unique perspective to the parenting world and although it might not work for everyone, maybe I can help someone, somewhere. Thank you for reading!

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When I was five years old, my baby sister was born. I instantly assumed the role of big sister extraordinaire and let me tell you, that was one of the best days of my life. Many years later, my three half-siblings came along and I am blessed to be the oldest of 5! My sisters are 23, 14 and 11 and my baby brother is 5 years old – needless to say, our house is a total zoo come Christmastime! I do not yet have kids of my own, but I have learned quite a few lessons in my many years of big-sistering. I am going to share those tips with you today.

1. Every child is completely different from every other child. Every child needs different things and grows and learns in different ways. Parenting is not one-size fits all.

2. Nor is parenting stagnant. It is ever-changing and shifts as kids’ needs and wants change. Flexibility is the cornerstone of parenting.

3. Living by example is key. Children watch every single thing we do and they do not forget. Providing an example of morality, maturity, and mutual respect are the best ways to raise and mentor good kids.

4. Bad habits will be passed down. Because children watch everything we do, this goes for bad habits as well. Swearing, unhealthy eating, and bad TV habits will be adopted by children if they continuously witness that behavior.

5. Children need constant stimulation. Kids need a variety of activities in order to grow and learn throughout their lives. Providing an outlet for artistic expression, athleticism, musical ability and any array of interests allows kids to be well-rounded adults.

6. Parents will screw up at some point. Thankfully, kids are forgiving and understand that parents are people too. Recover by admitting the mistake and correcting the behavior, once again leading by example so the children do the same.

7. Love is not enough. Children also need rules, guidance, discipline and other structure in order to learn, grow and become happy, healthy adults.

8. But love does heal all. When times are rough and wounds are open: love. When times are good: love. Above all else, love each other and oneself.