Mom Gets A Sick Day

Yes you read that right.  As a mom, I got a sick day!  It was amazing and oh so short.  It was amazing to just be able to sleep and not have to worry about the kiddos or meals or anything but resting.  I did fold a load of diaper laundry because I wanted to and pulled a casserole out of the freezer for my husband to deal with for dinner, but that’s all I did.  Really.  Well, I also fed the baby cause she’ll only have mama milk from the source.  But that’s all I did, I promise!

5 Tips for Returning to Work Post-Baby

I have a guest post for you, from another one of my favorite bloggers, Vanessa. She has some great tips for returning to work after having a baby:

As a mother of three I am no stranger to postpartum anxiety. There's sleep deprivation mixed with physical recovery in addition to all the questions that creep up no matter how many kids you've had and newborns you've raised. For the mom who has to return to work, there is even more worry and stress piled on.

8 Weeks Left

I’m 32 weeks today (as I write this but I’ll probably be closer to 33 weeks when it posts…YAY!) so that means I have 8 weeks left of baking this baby.  I’m liking the way 8 weeks sounds.  Much better than 2 months or 50 something days.  I’m feeling huge but now I’m only going to get bigger.  I’m not quite sure how much bigger I can get but I know I will.  The kicking has stopped for the most part but the rolling all around happens frequently.

A Few Thoughts On Unmedicated & Medicated Births

With Munchkin, I wanted and prepared for an unmedicated, natural birth.  I didn’t want any medications, I just wanted to do it naturally the way women have been doing it for centuries.  I took a natural birthing class, hired a doula and had my support team of my husband and my mom on board with it.  While I did a little research in c-sections, just in case, I didn’t really think I would need one.  That joke was on me because that’s exactly what I ended up with.  However, I only agreed to the c-section on the condition that I could try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) with our next child.  

Anti Clothes Stage

We’re in a new stage (at least I’m hoping it’s a stage!) where Munchkin decides that she doesn't like clothes.  It started last week out of nowhere.  I tried putting her socks on and she screamed and screamed.  Then I tried her pants and as I was putting on the other leg she took the leg I had already put on off.  It was a disaster.  I had been planning on going out but we hung out at home for awhile that day. Eventually I was able to get clothes on her and go out but it took a while.  This just came out of nowhere and it mystifies me.

Glimpses Into Who She Will Be

Every once in a while, Munchkin does something that makes me stop and catch my breath.  It’s usually something that surprises me, like laying on her stomach and kicking her legs back and forth while watching TV.  Maybe it’s because I can remember watching TV like that as a kid.  Or just the other day, while I was trying to get her down for a nap.  She was not wanting to sleep AT ALL.  She was laying on her tummy and she pushed herself up and sat on her knees.  She just looked at me and held her head in her hands with her hands covering her eyes.  It’s like she was saying “Oh please mom!”  I had a foreshadowing of her doing that when she’s twelve.  I’m sure I did it to  my mom. 

I love these little glimpses.  I love watching her personality emerge and grow.  There’s a very real possibility I’m going to have a Mini Me (I’m ok with that.)  There will be bits of her dad in there too and will make her even better!

I love what I’m seeing of my daughter so far.  She loves animals.  Even though we have to dogs (or puppies as she calls them), she gets so excited when she see one when we’re out.  You’d never know that we have any by her excitement.  She loves to give her kitties and puppies hugs and kisses.  Alley Cats often lays on the loveseat and is quite tolerant of Munchkin’s hugs.  Maybe she’ll be a vet or an assistant, or have pets when she’s on her own.  If she ever lives by herself, a cat or a dog would be great company. 

She loves to snuggle…is it possible that her love language is physical touch?  I hope she doesn’t lose her love of snuggling as I enjoy it just as much as she does.  Co-sleeping is one of the best decisions we’ve made.  I love nighttime cuddles!  She’ll just come and want to sit in my lap sometimes during the day.  Sometimes we’ll read books, sometimes we’ll watch a movie and sometimes we’ll just chatter to each other. 

Her imagination is taking off.  One of her most favorite toys is her kitchen.  Right now she enjoys dumping out the baskets of food but she loves to pretend to eat them.  We’ve started to let her help a little in the kitchen.  Maybe she’ll love cooking and/or baking.  I hope she’ll find joy in creating delicious and healthy meals for her husband and children some day.  Who knows how she’ll use her imagination? 

Munchkin has started laughing out loud, often when she’s watching a movie.  She’s started laughing in the same places in them all the time.  Sometimes she covers her mouths and just laughs.  It always brings a smile to my face.  Her joy is infectious and I hope it stays that way.  Munchkin is ticklish…oh so ticklish!  I love it.

She’s growing fast, maybe a little fast for me.  I don’t want to keep her little though, as I’m enjoying her so much.  I’m thankful that I have a front row seat for watching who she will become and will have a hand in guiding her.   I’m excited to see the women she will become.

Taming The Mess with Toy Rotation {How To}

A year and a half ago, my house was devoid of toys.  I had maybe two or three for when friends came over and they were small (think matchbox cars.)  Eighteen months later, my house is full of toys.  With Christmas in the not so distant past, we have even more.  

For awhile it was a problem.  There were toys in the living room and Munchkin’s room and the kitchen, bathroom and our bedroom.  Munchkin loves to take all her toys out and scatter them all over the house.  She didn’t necessarily play with all of them, she just took them all out.  I would clean up two or three times a day, often with Munchkin’s help.  I got tired of it quickly and knew something had to be done.

I knew I could go through her toys and get rid of some of them.  Except I didn’t really want to do that.  I knew she would still play with most of them if she could just see them and not get distracted by other toys.  So after seeing something on pinterest (where else?!) and talking to other moms, I decided to try toy rotation.

The first thing I did was get a few bins.  I decided that for us, 3 bins of toys with a set of toys out would work for us (so 4 groups of toys.)  My plan was to change out the toys every week.  I know that a weekly rotation doesn’t work for everyone but an every other week or even monthly would work as well.  I’ll be honest, there are times I go two weeks before rotating them.  It works for us and that’s what is important.

Once I had my bins, I gathered all Munchkin’s toys (minus tubby toys) together.  Then I made sure each toy had all it’s pieces.  As I gathered the toys, I realized that she had a lot of baby toys so I took those out and them set aside for a future sibling.  At this point I decided some toys would not go in the toy rotation.  For example, Munchkin gets to play with her blocks, baby doll and kitchen all the time.

After that, I divided the toys into  piles. I put a different Little People play set in each bin.  Then I put a favorite or two in each group.  After that, I divided up the rest of the toys so there would be close to an equal amount in each one.

The bins live in our bedroom because I don’t have any other place to store them at the moment.  Since starting this, I bought bigger bins on sale.  The original bins I had didn’t fit the big toys (like the Little People farmhouse) so it was sitting outside the bin.  Munchkin would see it and want to play with it.  Now all the toys fit in the bins and there is even room to add more.   With the extra room I think I’ll be adding some books into the rotation too.

When it’s time to rotate the toys, I gather them all up and place them in a laundry basket.  Then I grab the bottom bin, take all the toys out and put them in the toy box.  Then I empty the laundry basket into the bin and place it on top of the pile.  It takes about 5 minutes to do the whole switch out.  I like to do it when Munchkin is napping or down for the night.  If she’s awake than it takes a little longer cause she likes to get into the bins.  She’ll be a great helper when she’s a little older!

I’ve been doing this for about two months and it’s been working great.  Munchkin loves playing with the “new” toys when they get rotated.  She doesn’t seem to be losing interest in her toys as quickly.  We only have 1/4 of the toys to clean up and my house is no longer covered in toys.  It’s been great for us!

How do you tame the toy mess at your house?

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Thoughts On Having Another Child

Putting Munchkin to bed tonight was more painful that usual.  She didn’t nap today.  She fell asleep while eating dinner so I know she was exhausted.  I tried to move her to bed but she woke up.  She didn’t want to go back to sleep right then so after a little more play time, a tubby and some warm milk, we headed to bed early.

You would have thought I was feeding her to wolves.  She sobbed and screamed.  I was laying right next to her as she cried for mama.  If she could have opened up my chest and crawled in she would have. It felt like an eternity but in reality it was about twenty minutes.  Somewhere in those twenty minutes an ungracious though ran through my head.  I wondered if The Man and I are crazy because we want another child.  We want another crying, screaming, clingy little person.  I’m not sure I can handle more than one of these acting like this at a time.  I’ve seen enough tweets from friends to know how crazy it can make you when you have two (or more) crying, screaming, clinging kids at once.  It is entirely plausible that I’m crazy (I did marry a man who worked in a metal tube that submerged on purpose and slept next to a missile.)

Finally she quieted down.  Then she fell asleep.  Her cheeks were wet, her breathing even and she looked so sweet, so innocent in her sleep.  With all the crying and screaming come cuddles and love.  In the past eighteen months I’ve known more joy and love than I thought possible.  Of course we want another bundle of crazy love.  The Man and I agree that our family does not feel complete. Creating that new person could be interesting, given The Man’s crazy schedule, the fact that my mom lives with us and that Munchkin still sleeps in our bed.  It will take some scheduling but it will be worth it. 

It seems crazy to think that I want my life to be turned upside down.  I do though.  I want the crying, the screaming, the clinging, the joy and the love.  The former will last for a short time but the latter?  It will last a lifetime.

 

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Nursing A Toddler

It’s interesting nursing a toddler.  It’s totally different from nursing a newborn or even an older infant.  The older the baby gets, the more active they are and the more interesting nursing gets. Gone are the days Munchkin would just laid there and nurse.  Even though she nursed a lot, it wasn’t hard once we figured out what we were doing.  I loved the milky smiles she would give me.  Sometimes she would wave her hand at me and other times I would give her a toy to keep her hands busy.  

We nurse lying down so Munchkin can fall asleep.  She’ll lay there for a bit but if a kitty comes by, forget it.  She unlatches and wants to go pet the kitty.  I also get fingers in my eyes, nose and mouth.  She’ll pat the mama milk makers and it’s not uncommon for her to pinch me too.  She likes to find my belly button and tickle me.  Munchkin will play with her feet if she gets bored.  The best is when she’s just about to fall asleep and she want to sleep on her belly.  She doesn’t always want to stop nursing so she tries to turn over while still latched.  Let’s just say my body doesn’t do that.  She keeps trying though. 

We now nurse two to three times a day.  Munchkin nurses before she goes to sleep for nap and at night.  Sometimes we’ll nurse in the middle of the night or in the morning when she wakes up.  We haven’t nursed in the middle of the day for a couple of weeks, and even then it was a comfort nurse because she was sick.

I could have weaned her after the Alaskan cruise.  She went a week without Mama milk and would have been fine to stay that way.  I wasn’t ready to be done and she did ask for it so we continued to nurse.  In a couple of weeks The Man and I are going away for a week and a half.  Munchkin will be staying with Nana and once again there will be no Mama milk.  I’ve been thinking that this trip might be the weaning point.  I have mixed feeling about weaning though.  In the middle of the night when she wants a 90 second nurse four or five times, I’m ready to be done.  Other times I’m not so sure.  I’m going to miss it.  I think she could be ready to be done.  I think we’re just going to have to wait and see.

New Mom Survival Tips

I remember being 38 weeks pregnant and just wanting to be being done. I was done waddling, done testing for GD, done not being to sleep, done having to pee all the time, done with people asking me when the baby was coming...I could go on.  I was more than ready (so I thought) to meet my baby.  I was so excited to have her in my arms!  I won’t lie, there were a few times in the first few weeks that I wished I was still pregnant so I could get some “good” sleep.  So with those sleep deprived weeks in mind, here are my tips for surviving as a new mom.

1.  Have breastfeeding support

Breastfeeding is natural but it is not easy.  It can be hard and painful in the beginning.  If you’re planning on breastfeeding, line up your breastfeeding support before your baby arrives.  Attend a Le Leche League meeting, talk with your doula, your partner and whoever else will be around.  If you already know where to turn for questions/support, you’ll be more likely to succeed!  Two great resources for breastfeeding is Kellymom and Best for Babes.  I also highly recommend Nancy Holtzman of Isis parenting.  She’s great at answering questions on Twitter! 

It’s also a good idea to stock up on lanolin and the gel cooling pads as they will help your sore, tender nipples feel better.  If you have trouble once the baby is here, don’t hesitate to ask for help, especially from an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.  You CAN reach for breastfeeding goal!  Again, don’t hesitate to reach out for help or for encouragement!  You don’t need to mommy alone!

2.  Your job is to take care of the baby

During the first 4-6 weeks, your job is to take care of the baby.  Don’t worry about cooking, doing dishes or laundry or any other chores.  Focus on the baby!  It’s ok if it feels like all you do is sit on your butt and feed the baby.  That’s your job Mama! By not trying to do all those other things, you’ll feel less stressed and will be able to enjoy this time more.  If people are coming by, they are coming to see you and the baby, not your house.  Seriously, don’t stress about chores!

3.  Sleep when you can

I know people say sleep when the baby sleeps and while that works sometimes, I know it doesn’t always.  If you can have someone watch the baby so you can sleep, do it!  3-4 hours of solid sleep will make most things better, I promise!  Don’t forget to shower too!  A shower can make you feel human again.  So sleep plus a shower will make you super Mama!

4.  Go with your gut

Trust your instinct Mama.  Even though you’re a new mom, you still know what is best for your baby.  Don’t give up if you feel like something is truly wrong, keep pushing.  YOU are your baby’s advocate!  Even if you feel like you’re overreacting, ask anyway!  Doctors are used to it and it will put your mind at ease!

5.  Feel free to ignore unasked for advice…and even some of the asked for advice too!

You probably noticed that everybody and their brother likes to give you advice when you’re pregnant.  It doesn’t stop once the baby arrives.  Feel free to let it go in one ear and out the other.  Or listen and try it but if it doesn’t work for you, stop doing it.  There’s no need to keep doing something that isn’t working and just causing you more stress! 

6.  Figure out what works for you and DO IT!

When you do figure out what works for you and your family, do it!  For us it was co-sleeping.  I heard so much against it but it works for us.  So that’s what we do.  When it stops working for us we’ll try something different.  Don’t be afraid of doing something different from your mommy friends!

You probably got lots of great things from your baby shower(s) too.  You might not use it all and that’s ok!  For me it was the Itzbeen timer.  I had several friends who loved it and I tried to use it, I really did.  I just didn’t need it.  So it sat, lonely and unused.  It’s also ok if your baby doesn’t wear all the clothes in each size.  Babies grow fast!

7.  Accept help

If you have people offer to help, ACCEPT IT!  People want to help (many have been where you now are) and it will make your life easier.  Swallow your pride and STOP thinking that YOU have to do it all.  You don’t!  Let people help by bringing you a meal, vacuuming your house, loading your dishwasher or doing a load of laundry (they aren’t going to be bothered by washing your underwear, I promise!)

8.  Let Dad be Dad

By that I mean, let dad do stuff with the baby too!  If you’re breastfeeding he can’t feed the baby but he can change diapers, change clothes and do skin to skin.  And please, please, please don’t correct everything he does!  He’s new at this too and it’s going to take some time for him to get used to doing baby things.  However, there is more than one way to change a diaper or give the baby a bath.  Let him figure out his way to do it, even if you think your way is better.

9.  Enjoy.

I know it’s hard to enjoy every moment, and really, you can’t.  It’s hard to enjoy the screaming baby or the vomit.  But when you can just stop and breathe in.  Inhale that newborn baby scent and snuggle in close.  Revel in the newness of life.  

10. Nothing lasts forever

The first 12 weeks are the hardest.  Life will get easier.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  You can do this Mama. 

As a new mom, you have so much joy ahead of you.  Each stage has the good and bad but each is full of joy.  Motherhood isn’t a sprint, it’s a very, very long marathon.  Enjoy each stage and don’t forget to ask for help when you need it.

One more thing Mama….hold that baby as much as you want, you’re not going to spoil them!

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Motherhood Goals

I saw this topic come up on Monday on a couple of blogs I read and it made me stop and think.  What are my goals for motherhood?  The Man & I talk about things we’d like to/want to accomplish as parents but we don’t have them written down.  I’m going write them down and share them with you here.  They are in no particular order, just how they popped into my head.

1.  For Munchkin to know, follow & love Jesus

First and foremost I what I want is for Munchkin to know Jesus and follow him.  I want her to love him with all of her heart, soul and mind.  I don’t want her to believe because we do, rather I want her to make her faith her own.  I know the process won’t be easy but it will be worth it. 

2.  For Munchkin to know she’s loved

I want Munchkin to know how much she is loved.  I don’t want her to ever doubt our love for her or for her to think that there is anything she could do to lose it.  I also want her to know that she can come to me for any reason and I’ll still love her.  I might be disappointed in her choices but I’ll still love her.  NOTHING will ever change that!

3. To be patient

As Munchkin gets a little older, I know I’m going to need to be patient with her.  A child doesn’t do things as fast or as well as an adult.  I want to be able to allow her to take the time to learn and enjoy life.  I don’t want to be rushing her.  This one is going to be hard for me but it is something I think is important so I’ll work on it.

4. For Munchkin to be a reader

I love reading.  Part of the reason I love reading so much is that my mom loves reading.  Some of my earliest memories are of my mom reading.  I want that for Munchkin.  I want her to see me reading and I want her to love reading.  There’s nothing like getting lost in a great story!  We’re already talking about when we’ll read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to her.

5. To have a healthy marriage

I want my marriage to The Man to remain good and healthy and strong so our kiddos are secure.  I don’t want them worrying about us.  I want to give them a firm foundation and I think that having a good marriage is a part of that. 

6. To say YES

I have a tendency to say no a lot, especially at first.  As Munchkin gets older, I don’t want to be saying no everything she asks to do something.  I’d like to say yes more than I say no. 

7. To have Munchkin be a functioning, contributing member of society

When Munchkin leaves my house at 18, I’d like for her to know how to take care of herself and her future family.  She’ll be able to take care of a house (dishes, cleaning, laundry, etc).  I also want her to be able to think for herself, to not just follow along because everyone else it or someone else says too.  I want her to be able to object and articulate why. I’m not always so good at this but The Man is.  Daddy will be helping a lot with this one!

8. To be healthy & active 

I offer Munchkin healthy, nutritious, home cooked food.  I’ve also started exercising regularly.  Part of the reason I do these things is to be an example to Munchkin.  We only have one body and we need to take care of it!

9. To be present

It is easy for me to get caught up in everything that I need to, from dishes to laundry to cooking dishes to running errands.   I want to make sure that I take time to just be with Munchkin.  To play little people and read books now and to have late night talks and movies(or whatever) when she’s older.  I want to be that steady always there person that she knows she can turn to at any time for anything. 

10. To know the importance of family

Family is important.  Even though I don’t have siblings, I do have a cousin who is like my sister.  I’m so thankful for her and our relationship.  I also have other family that I’m close too.  I want Munchkin to be close to her family.  I hope that if she has any siblings that they will be close (though I have no idea how to go about encouraging that…we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.) 

11. To enjoy being a mom

I want to enjoy this crazy ride called motherhood.  So far it’s been harder than I ever thought it would be.  It’s also been so much more fulfilling and fun that I ever thought it would be.  So far I’ve enjoyed Munchkin being a baby.  As she moves into toddlerhood, I want to enjoy the now and not miss the past or get worried about what’s to come.  I guess this ties in with the last one, as I want to enjoy the now.  There are good and bad in each stage.  I think it’s much more productive to focus on the good than dwell on the bad.  (Feel free to check with me when she’s two though!) 

12. To have a happy childhood

Growing up, my family wasn’t rich but I had what I needed and a lot of what I wanted.  We didn’t take extravagant vacations every year and while I did have to wait to get a Nintendo, I did get one.  I was able to go to camp and do dance and swim lessons. I want Munchkin’s childhood to be like that.  I want her to enjoy being a kid.  I want her to have good, fun memories of growing up. 

 

These go for any other kids we have as well.  I just say Munchkin cause she’s the one that’s here at the moment!  And really, these are just the tip of the iceberg of what I want for Munchkin!  If I were to write them all down…I don’t think I could.

 

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Those Days

It’s been one of those days, coming on the heels of other similar days.  Days where you wake up exhausted and spend the day feeling like you accomplish nothing as there is always more clothes to wash/fold/put away, more meals to prepare and more dishes to wash.  There are animals who want your attention, not to mention the little one who only wants you to play with little people, to read the same book over and over, to tickle and snuggle and kiss and who fights naptime with every fiber in their little body. Motherhood is exhausting and never ending. 

There are moments when I feel inadequate, like I’m not enough, like I’m failing.  Then my baby wraps her arms around me and snuggles into my neck, I realize that to her, I am enough.  I am not failing and I am her safe place.  As her mom, I am comforter and fixer of all things.  In that moment, everything else fades away and I’m holding that little body close, and all is right in my world.  I whisper a Thank You to God, for this precious little one and ask for the strength to keep going.  It’s not in my ability, but in his strength that this calling of motherhood will be accomplished.  I know, without a doubt, that I cannot do this on my own.

The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

 

 

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Me, 8 Months Later

Munchkin has changed a lot in the past 8 months.  It’s too be expected, as she’s a baby and babies grow!  Someone else has changed and I don’t think we take the time to notice those changes. 

I’ve changed.  I’ve become a mom. I’m learning new things and have taken on new responsibilities.  There are good days and and not so good days.  Sadly, I can let the not so good days overwhelm me and overshadow the good and great days. 

I’ve let Munchkin’s birth overshadow the past eight months.  It was not what I wanted at all.  While I was expecting to have things not go according to plan, it went way off course.  The c-section is not what I wanted in any way, shape or form.  It happened and I can’t change that.  So I’ve spent the past 8 months trying to figure out how I could have avoided it.  I’ve replayed the birth so many times in my head that if it was a VHS tape it would have died  by now. 

Part of my problem is that I feel like I failed.  That it was totally my fault and that I could have done something to prevent it.  I needed a counselor to remind me that labor and birth are complex processes and while a lot of it is on me there are other people to factor into the equation, like the baby, my support team and the doctors.  I can’t reduce what happened to simple terms.  There were so many factors playing into what happened, from the GD, to the induction and to Munchkin not engaging.  There is no easy answer for how the c-section could have been avoided.

I’ve had people telling me that I did a great job.  That was really hard to hear and believe when I didn’t believe it myself.  I felt like I had failed. That I had failed in my first job as a mom, to give birth. That I failed my daughter.  I hate that I couldn’t push her out and that she had to be cut out of me instead.  I hate that damn scar. It sits low on my belly, mocking me.  It’s proof that I failed.  The stretch marks don’t bother me but I wish I could rip that scar off my body.  Thankfully it’s hard to see.

It’s helped to have someone tell me that it’s ok to be upset with how Munchkin’s birth happened.  I needed to hear that, to know that it is OK to be unhappy with how the birth happened.  I’m still forgiving myself for what I see as a failure.  Talking about it has helped.  Munchkin has helped too.

Right now she doesn’t care how she was born. She’s just happy to be with me.  Happy to be standing, holding onto my hands or my legs.  I’m her most favorite person in the whole world (for now anyway!)  She squeals and gives me a huge hug when she sees me again after a separation. She doesn’t think I failed her.  I think that I need to learn to see myself through my daughter’s eyes. 

Even though we’re not pregnant, I’ve started to think about the next one a little bit.  My goal is to have a VBAC.  I’m doing my best to not stress about it already.  As The Man reminded me, in the words of C.S. Lewis in Prince Caspian: Nothing happens the same way twice. For that, I say AMEN!

The Difference A Year Makes

Right around this time last year we found out we were pregnant.  I vividly remember the emotions. There was disbelief at first, as I didn’t want to get my hopes up and then be wrong.  Once the pregnancy was confirmed by my doctor, there was excitement and joy at the thought of our baby, relief that I didn’t need any more infertility treatment, nervousness at the thought of actually being parents, some anxiety at the unknown and some sadness that my dad would never hold my baby.  That’s just scratching the surface.  It was the start of an incredible roller coaster ride. 

Now that we have our baby girl and she’s three months old, I can’t imagine life without her!  The Man and I were saying the other night that we weren’t sure what we did before we had her.  She’s amazing and incredible and we are so very much in love with her.  She’s a daddy’s girl and loves it when he holds her.  She loves to watch football with him and life is good when he’s around.  She also love mommy lots.  I love seeing her face light up when I come into the room after being gone for a little bit.  She’ll follow me with her eyes if someone else is holding her.  She also sleeps better when she’s touching me. 

When you’re expecting, you have these images of what motherhood will look like.  For me it was snuggling with a sleepy baby, talking to a smiling baby, watching Munchkin ride her bike for the first time, taking her to Disney.  While I knew that babies cried, sometimes a lot, it was not something I pictured.   There have been nights when she has done nothing but fuss and cry.  Thankfully they are few and far between but the ones we have had have been enough to hurt my mommy heart.  I hate hearing my child cry.  I hate not being able to figure out what’s wrong.  Those times have been enough to make me extremely thankful for my happy baby girl.  The hard times make the other times sweeter.  Without the difficult times I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good.

We love being parents. Even with the fussiness and exhaustion, it’s wonderful. Well, The Man might not think it’s wonderful when I snap at him because I’m exhausted. It’s been an opportunity for me to grow in asking for and receiving forgiveness. I’m thankful that my husband loves even when I’m cranky! He’s also blessed me by allowing me to sleep in and in allowing me to nap without the baby. He’s a dad that loves his daughter and enjoys spending time with her.

I think I’m rambling now so I’ll leave you with one more adorable photo of Munchkin.  I get to see this cuteness everyday and  I love it!

Insert Interesting Title Here

I know I haven’t been posting very much.  Munchkin and I were in MA for two weeks.  I was busy showing off my daughter to friends and family.  We had a great time but I’m glad to be home.  There’s something so nice about coming home to your own stuff after being away.

Even though I have been writing very many posts over the past few months, I have been thinking about posts.  I think about what I want to write and even compose paragraphs in my head as I go about my day.  Then I sit down and I can’t get the words out.  They sound so much better in my head.  So I start a post and never finish it.  I can no longer finish a post in one sitting anymore anyway, since Munchkin normally needs my attention before I’m finished.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving being a mom (have a blog post started on that.)  Priorities have changed and I’m still figuring things out.   What I really need is technology to take my thoughts and turn them into blog posts.  Or maybe I just need to invest in a voice to text program.  Someday I’ll get all the blog posts written…hopefully before Munchkin goes to college!

Thoughts On Sleeping

I’ve always enjoyed sleep.  I actually didn’t have a bedtime growing up because if I was tired, I went to bed.  Even now, as an adult, I prefer 8-10 hours of sleep a night.  Naps are my best friend.

I bet you’re laughing now because you know sleep and babies are NOT friends.  They are not things you associate with each other because frankly they DO NOT go together.  It’s been about 9 weeks since I’ve had a full night of sleep.

In the hospital, munchkin never slept in the little plastic bassinet thingie they have in the room for the baby.  She either slept in my arms or on her daddy’s chest.  We might have created a monster cause it was hard to get her used to the co-sleeper when we got home.  At one point in the second week I gave in and did what I said I would never do…I  pulled her in the big bed.  I curled myself around her and fell asleep.  It was the best the sleep I ever got.  While I was nervous at first to bed share, the need for sleep continued to win out.  Munchkin joined us in bed more and more.

Now, at two months Munchkin is sleeping in her co-sleeper for the most part.  She gets put down in it to start the night.  She’ll sleep 4-5 hours before she wants to nurse.  I pull her into the big bed and nurse laying down (learning how to do this is one of the best things I’ve done!)  Some nights she lets me put her back in her co-sleeper.  Other nights she stays in bed with us.  I love waking up to her smiley face and her baby coos.

I feel like bed sharing in our dirty little secret.  When you’re pregnant you’re told over and over again how bad/dangerous it is to sleep with your baby in your bed.  Yet I have to wonder…how many of us do it to save our sanity?  There is no way I would have made it through those first few weeks without bed sharing.  In talking with friends, it’s amazing how many people have told me that they too, slept with their baby in their bed.

For us, it was what felt right and what worked for us.  We did have some people who told us it was a bad idea…that we would never get munchkin out of our bed and that she needed to learn independence.  I’m no worried about either one as she has plenty of time to learn to be independent.  As for not getting her out of our bed, there have already been nights that she’s only in our bed to nurse.  I’m not worried. 

If you are sharing your bed with your baby, please so safely.  There are guidelines to keep your little one safe.  You should make sure to keep pillows and blankets away from your little one, and you shouldn’t drink or smoke.  And did you know that it’s safer to bed share than sleep with your baby on the sofa? 

Did you bed share?

Life With A Baby

So life with a baby has been good.  Hard at times but that’s to be expected.  Some days are easier/better/more productive than others.  Other days are hard and I wonder if it will ever get easier.  Lots of people have told me that it gets easier at three months.  We’re at two so I’m 2/3 of the way there.

Today has been productive, or at least it’s felt that way.  I actually have time to sit down and write a blog post (sorry if it’s choppy.  I’m not taking the time to proofread it like I normally do because it wouldn’t get posted!)  Today I managed to:

-Go to the local Just Between Friends Consignment event and pick up some long sleeve outfits for Munchkin.  Somehow we mostly have short sleeve stuff and I know she’ll be cold.  I was able to get a few good deals.  Some items were overpriced but you just have to weed through them. I was able to shop early as a first time mom and I got there when it opened.  There was barely anyone there and it was so nice.  I was in and out.  It was nice to not have to worry about Munchkin as she was with daddy.

-Complete a load of cloth diaper laundry.  Well, everything is dry at least.  I still have to stuff the dipes but that won’t take long and I like to do it when Munchkin is away cause then I talk to her while I do it.  She just smiles and coos at me.  I love it!

-I got TWO loads of adult laundry and a load of baby laundry done. (ok, to be honest one is sitting in the basket next to me.  I’m writing this so I can avoid folding it but it will be done before I go to bed tonight!)  Two loads, plus dipe laundry in one day is a lot for me.  It might not be impressive for anyone else but it’s an accomplishment for me!

-I made dinner.  The house smells amazing from the roasted tomato and basil soup that simmering on the stove.  I think we’re going to have BLT’s with it.  Yes, I know you should have grilled cheese with tomato soup but I’m currently avoiding dairy so no grilled cheese for me.  BLT’s are the next best thing!

-I finished a book!  I’m something like 17 books behind on my goal of reading 115 this year.  It didn’t help that I didn’t ready anything for the first 7 weeks of munchkin’s life.  I’m now fitting it in while Munchkin is breastfeeding.  She tends to fall asleep while she eats.  I do love watching her but it’s nice to be productive while just sitting there too.  She eats a lot too.  There are days where I feel like I do nothing but sit and nurse her. 

-Munchkin is happy, fed and dry.  She is my number one priority and everything else that got done is just icing.

-I’m showered and dressed.  I have made it a goal to shower every day.  I think there was one or two days where I didn’t shower but that was my choice and not because I couldn’t find time. 

-Dishwasher unloaded and reloaded with dirty dishes from the sink.  I like having a clean kitchen.  Even if the rest of the house is a mess, I can handle it as long as my kitchen is clean. 

-I got this blog post written!  Someday I’ll be back and write more often like I used to but for now, it’s better to spend time with Munchkin.  She’s growing so fast and I want to enjoy every moment I can with her.

So as I read back over it it doesn’t seem like a lot.  I’m still getting used to having a baby and keeping up with the house.  I’m hoping it gets easier as she gets a little older.

Patience is the Most Important Virtue

I have my last guest post for you today!  I’ve been following Amanda’s blog for a few years now and I’ve enjoyed watching her son grow.  She shares some great thoughts with us today.

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Amanda is a full time working mom of a VERY active toddler, born in 2010. She has been the wife of an Army National Guardsman since 2008. Originally from Michigan, she traded Mid-West living for big city life in 2000 when she moved to NYC. Currently living in New Jersey, she is balancing her full time job, keeping her family in order, and preparing for their first deployment later this year. In her free time she enjoys spending time with family, cuddling with her kitties, cross stitch, photography, and blogging.  You can find her at The Calm Before the Storm.

Patience is the Most Important Virtue

When being a parent that is... We’ve all heard the comments about how you never knew you could love someone so much until you have children. Since the birth of our son, Marshall, in 2010 I am definitely not going to dispute that claim. But, what I have found is one of the most important things I’ve learned since The Marsh joined our little family is you need a whole lot of patience! And yes, I’ve found myself humming the song by Guns ‘n’ Roses many times over the past few months.

When Marshall was in the 0 – 12 month age range, I kept thinking “Well this is a piece of cake!” He was so easy to handle, did everything I wanted him to do, and was generally in a good mood all the time. Marshall turned 1 on October 30^th, 2011. The fact that the next day was Halloween seemed appropriate because that seemed to be the turning point when Zombie Baby started to appear!

Out of the blue, he started biting people. I bruise fairly easily so my arms literally looked like someone had beat me with a stick thanks to all the bite marks. And it only got worse from there. Marshall has a pretty strong personality so when he doesn’t get his way, Zombie Baby comes out! In addition to the biting there is now pinching, head butting, pushing, throwing, hitting, kicking, and screaming. I’ve been told that he might be going through his terrible twos a bit early. Of course he is! So now, all we can do is ignore him while he has his little meltdown and then, usually within a couple of minutes he is fine and forgot what he was screaming about in the first place.

So, that being said, a few things I’ve learned about patience and the Zombie Baby:

1. When you tell him “no”, he will look right at you and do it anyway. All you can do is just reiterate over… and over… and over… and over what he isn’t supposed to be doing.

2. Try to refrain from reacting to the tantrums. I’ve found that the more I react, the more crazy he gets because now he’s getting all of my attention. And, in reality, isn’t that what they really want in the end?

3. There is no use in getting upset when he takes his bowl full of pasta and marinara sauce and flips it over onto the floor. Apparently this is normal toddler behavior… who knew? We just try to keep an eye on him and sprint for the bowl when we see it lifted above his head. Sometimes we miss and sometimes our white cat ends up with marinara all over his head.

4. Don’t get too embarrassed when the tantrum is happening in the middle of your supermarket. If there are other parents around, they won’t judge because they’ve been there. And, for the people who do judge, someday they’ll be in the same spot watching their kid have a tantrum and realize there isn’t much you can do about it. I usually just let him sit in the middle of the floor and have his meltdown. After a few minutes he’s fine and we can move on.

5. You’ll learn to recognize the differences between a true meltdown and one that is happening because he is tired. If Marshall has missed his nap or has had a lot of activity during the day, when we put him in bed while he is having his screaming fit, he is usually asleep within a few minutes. Unfortunately, I, too, am usually asleep within a few minutes right along side of him J

People will always focus on the bad or challenging aspects of a situation. In my own opinion, watching Marshall grow up everyday definitely outweighs the trying times when Zombie Baby makes an appearance. Just to name a few:

1. The excitement he has when we pick him up from day care.

2. How fascinated he is with every little thing put in front of him.

3. He loves to give hugs and kisses.

4. Baths are awesome!

5. His favorite thing to do in the evenings is help feed the kitties and put the recyclables in their bins.

6. He loves to cuddle on the sofa with a good bottle of milk.

7. When he wants to bring us something he will hold out his hand and say “stay” so we don’t move before he’s ready for us.

8. He has to sit on Daddy’s lap and help back the car out of its parking spot before we can put him in his car seat.

9. One of his favorite games is to point at a group of objects, and say “no” to everything we point at.

10. The other day he was looking in a mirror and then turned around as it checking out his behind! Good thing he has a cute little behind!

While I don’t want my baby to grow up because it is happening way too fast, I’m excited to watch him learn and grow over these next few years. In the end, not only do you need to have the patience to handle the craziness of raising kids, but you also have to have the patience to recognize and enjoy all the good things that come with the bad.

Thoughts on Breastfeeding

I have another wonderful blogger for you today!  Please give Rheanna a warm Many Waters welcome (in the form of lots of comments!)  She’s going to share some thoughts on breastfeeding with us. I found her words to be encouraging and I hope you do too!

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Hi everyone, my name is Rheanna and I blog at Cammo Style Love.  I'm an Air Force wife, married in August of 2004. I have three children and we are now East Coasters! I'm a SAHM that likes to watching black and white movies, reading books and crocheting. I'm a total history nerd, which makes living in the greater DC Metro Area a dream come true! I'm also a mom that struggled with breastfeeding.


You know, you dream of having your kids. You think of their names, what they might look like and just how much fun a little snuggly baby is. I did all those things. I thought of how my pregnancy would go, what my delivery would be like and how I would breastfeed. Being an all natural mama wasn't my thing. I appreciated those that went natural in their childbirth, but it wasn't a conviction I had. For the most part that wasn't an issue. Of course, as with all things people felt the need to tell me how they felt and that was fine. I spent time being totally annoyed internally but whatever, to each his own and I tried not to let it bother me. Breastfeeding on the other hand was something that was important to me. It was a conviction and I totally expected everything to be fine. I heard plenty of things about how its wonderful and how good it is for the baby, breast is best, formula is evil and the like. Stuff I'm sure everyone has probably heard. What I didn't hear was the struggles people have. People had told me that they didn't like it, or they didn't want to, but NO ONE spent any kind of time talking about it being a struggle to do.

And then it was. I had inverted nipples, which made latch hard. Not just hard, but HAAAARRRDDD! It hurt, it bled, I cried it was horrible. I kept hearing over and over in my head, "if you're doing it right it won't hurt." And so the downward spiral began. I was doing it wrong, I couldn't do it, what was I doing. Do you see all those "I's" in there? It was a Rheanna Beat Down. Bawling my eyes out in the hospital from exhaustion, and emotions and frustration, was not how I imagined that I would be spending my time post baby.

So, I forfeited. It was only a partial forfeit, but in my head it was a complete one. A failure, that's what I was. All those people that had made their opinions known before I had my son, were there now making those same opinions known loud and clear. And why I could only hear them when I had other people that were so loving to me, including my dear sweet husband, I have no idea. It isn't until you have an issue that you suddenly meet people and learn that other people you know have had that same issue! I couldn't believe it and I began to get slightly more encouraged. We weren't alone out there. I ended up going 100% formula when Brian was about two months old. Fast forward about two years to baby number two. Again, I heard the normal "opinions" being shared. It was easier this time around, but still hard. I got a super de duper pump and pumped and pumped. A friend also shared fenugreek with me.
 
I made it six months! Even still, the things people say will never cease to amaze me. I still believe that most of the mean words came from a place of total ignorance. They don't know, they've never been
there. If they were or had been, they might have kinder and gentler words to say. If you can believe it I actually had people say to me, "Well, you weren't trying hard enough." Those words just cut me to to the quick. One of my all time favorite things was when someone said, "I just can't imagine how God could let that happen?" In reference to my inability to feed my child. Do I really have to argue this point?

Now baby number 3 is 7 months and I'm still breastfeeding more than 50% of the time. I know that I could have done it 100% of the time if I didn't let the stress of things get to me. This time I combined fenugreek with the amazing Mother's Milk tea and saw a huge improvement in my milk supply! I was more focused and dedicated. It hurt less when I started out, which helped. Most importantly I was strong within myself. I really could care less what anyone has to say. I still get a little mad and frustrated when I hear people say stupid things, but it doesn't get me down. Spending my time talking about breastfeeding in a "realistic and encouraging way" has become a focus for me. We have to stick together. Being uplifting and encouraging, and circling the wagons if you will, is the way to be as far as I'm concerned. Maybe the thing isn't the breastfeeding, or the natural childbirth, or the epidural or the formula. Maybe its the fact that women, and mother's have become so divisive. We aren't supportive or encouraging. The rise of the Green Movement and stores like Whole Foods, and the trendiness of it all and the "coolness" of it has, in my ever humble opinion, made things worse. Instead of just letting people be responsible for themselves, everyone is in everyone else's business.

If someone feels strongly about something they feel the need to not only act upon this for themselves but shove it down every one else's throat. You find it in everything - anti formula, anti-disposables, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, natural child birth, healthy eating, no parabens. Its become crazy! Instead of focusing on what brings us together, our children, we've become too focused on all those other things and are becoming more and more at odds with each other. The other day I heard a lady going on and on about cloth diapers and how its so much better for baby because of the toxins and the chemicals and all that good stuff. Found out later, she never breastfed and didn't want to. Fine by me, you do what you want to do. But it was the way she said it. She was so focused on the lecture of chemicals in the diapers that it was confusing to someone who had heard the lecture of the evils of formula. I’m cloth diapering, and I had been turned off by it for so long by the lectures and the intensity of people that I never even wanted to spend time looking at it. It was the kind, loving, every day normal conversations with a dear friend that led me to make the change to cloth. It was the kind and loving words of my husband and another friend that helped me keep trying the breastfeeding with each baby.

I am proud to say that I am a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, baby wearing mama who goes to McDonalds and has a slight addiction to Dr. Pepper. But shouldn't that be okay? Should that divide me from other mother's? If I could wish for one thing for the world, in my most Miss Teen USA voice and with my most beauty pageant-esque smile....I would wish for mother's to band together! To support each other in motherhood. To help each other out with the struggles of raising kids, with working through the different phases. To help each other get through the tough seasons in life when you don't think your children will every sit still and behave! That's what I wish!

If you every have any questions or what to learn more about struggling with breastfeeding and/or cloth diapering come over to Cammo Style Love or email me at cammostylelove@yahoo.com

What I Wish I Had Known...

I have another great guest post for you today!  Jamie is going to share some advice with you that she wishes someone had shared with her when she was pregnant.

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Hello! My name is Jamie, and I am an Army Wife and SAHM to my sweet baby girl, Adelei!
I blog over at This is Me; Consequently, but I’m guest posting here today to tell you some things that I only wish someone would have told me when I was expecting!

First of all, the basics….
 
Start buying the basics early on [when you have coupons or find sales!!]. These include diapers, wipes, baby shampoo, soap, lotion, & diaper rash cream. I suggest using diapers.com or amazon.com/mom to buy diapers & wipes in bulk. They are always having sales or e-coupons, & it is the easiest/cheapest way to go in the long run. I started out by buying 1 case of diapers & 1 case of wipes every pay period. I bought 2 cases of each size up to size 4.

Speaking of coupons…
There are a ton of websites that Mom’s should register on. Here are a few of my favorites. You will get coupons galore!
beechnut.com
gerber.com
similac.com*
huggies.com
pampers.com
Thebump.com
 
*Even if you plan on breastfeeding, you should still sign up for this JUST in case you have to supplement. You’ll already have your coupons & vouchers for emergency use.

Wow, babies are expensive & sensitive…
 
A lot of people will tell you to use Dreft to wash the baby’s clothes in, but there are a lot of different hypoallergenic laundry detergents that you can use. Dreft is the most expensive at around $10. Purex has one [in a white bottle] that costs $2.50 at the commissary for the 32 load bottle. This lasts forever! Also borax [20 minute mule] is sold at Walmart for somewhere around $4 a box & you definitely need to get this. If you have some clothes/blankets/burp cloths that gets spit up or formula on it, you can soak them in the sink just put enough water to completely cover the clothes add a handful of borax & let it sit for 20 or 30 minutes & the stains will come out. This even works if the stains have been there for a few days.

Ooh, the good life…
 
There were several things I thought I HAD to have for the baby just because the store sold it. For example, wipe warmer, bottle warmer, baby swaddling wraps, microwave bottle sterilizer, and spinning drying rack for bottles. Don’t fall for it. These are what I call ‘luxury’ baby items. Learn from my mistakes & save your money!
That about wraps it up! If you have any questions regarding things mentioned in this post, please feel free to email me at jaksart at rocketmail dot com

Do you have any new mom advice?