What’s The Big Deal With Nursing In Public?

A friend recently posted a blog post written by their pastor’s wife about nursing in public.  I knew I probably shouldn’t read it but I did anyway.  I was actually pleasantly surprised by most of the post but the very end got me as it was exactly what I expected.  I let it get to me and I shouldn’t have but I am so dang tired of being told to cover up when nursing.  I am a Christian and think that modesty is important.  I do my best to dress modestly.  I think that we shouldn’t be shaming moms for how they decide to feed their babies.  For me, it boils down to this: If you want to nurse covered, go for it.  If you want to nurse uncovered, go for it.  Why are we projecting what we think is right on someone else?

It’s Nice To See You, Third Trimester!

Part of me is having a hard time believing that I’m in the third trimester but most of me is thrilled!  I’m very much looking forward to holding this little girl in my arms and snuggle her.  I love that this time around it feels like it’s going by much faster. Maybe because with Munchkin there was so much to do, research and buy.  This time there’s not, plus I’m chasing Munchkin around.  It’s nice to not feel as clueless as I did the first time…or rather, I’m just feeling clueless about other stuff, like how to parent two kids!  I think I’m feeling more confident in our ability to handle a newborn as we’ve done it before (though I’m trying not to be too confident since every kid is different!)  I know that breastfeeding might not go as smoothly cause it’s a whole new relationship.  I’m thankful that I have experience and I know where to turn for help if I need it.  Plus, I still have my amazing support system. 

A Big Girl Bed & Weaning

With Punkin in the way, The Man & I knew that it was time to move Munchkin out of our bed.  We didn’t want to wait too long and have Munchkin think she was getting kicked by the new baby.  Plus we only have a queen and with a growing tummy, I need a little more room to move around and get comfy in.  My side of the bed is softer than Munchkin likes (we have a sleep number) so she would wake up often and roll into my side when I got up to go potty at night.  We just kept waking each other up.  I was a little sad to move her and I LOVE snuggling with her but I knew it was time.

2013

I’ve gone back and forth on writing this post for the past two days.  Instead of trying to remember everything that happened (or even look back to remember) I think I’ll share 13 of my favorite posts from this year (and I snuck a few more in too!)  They’re not in any special order. 

So, here are my favorites for 2013:

1.  Wordless Wednesday in January

I love these photos.  They are some of my favorite. Also, I can’t believe how much she’s changed in a year!

2. Me, 8 Months Later

I’m thankful to say that seventeen and half months later, I’ve worked through most of the issues I was having.  I’m still sad I had the c-section but I no longer think of it daily (or even weekly, YAY!) 

3. 4th Anniversary

We celebrated 4 years of marriage this year.  I love my husband and am so thankful we chose each other!

4. Wordless Wednesday, The Dog Park

We love trips to the dog park.  I got some very cute photos this day.

5. 10 Survival Tip for New Moms

Being a new mom is hard.  Some of these were told to me before Munchkin came along and others I wish people had told me.  I hope they are helpful and encouraging for others.

6. Goals for Motherhood

I enjoyed writing this post as it made me think about what kind of mom I want to be. 

7. Glacier Bay, Alaska

This was easily my favorite day on our Alaskan Cruise (though zip lining in Juneau was fun too!)  Glacier Bay is gorgeous and I’d love to go back some day!

8. 10 Reasons I Love Breastfeeding

I love breastfeeding, so much more that I thought I would.  This is a partial list of why.  I was also super excited to reach my goal of breastfeeding for 1  year.  I’m thankful that I was able to get some breastfeeding photos taken.  I know I will treasure these when Munchkin’s older and nursing is a thing of the distant past:)

 

9. Sobriety- 3 Years

We’ve come so far in three years by taking it one day at a time.  I don’t talk a lot about The Man’s alcoholism on my blog but it is a very real part of our lives.  Writing this post was good for me and allowed me to be encouraged by where we are now.

10. Building a Baby Library on Budget

Reading is so important and I think every child should have a library.  I know it can be hard to build one when funds are limited.  I wrote this to help give others ideas on how get books for their child.

11. Walking

My baby started walking!  I love that she’s mobile.  She’s so much fun.  This post also has the only personal video I posted this year (maybe ever on the blog?)

12. Munchkin’s first birthday

My baby turned one and was the first of many (I hope) birthdays.  I think she’ll enjoy cake a little more at her next birthday!

13. The House

It was hard saying goodbye to my childhood house.  Writing this post helped to find some closure. 

13.5  Swimming

We love taking Munchkin swimming!  She loves it, we love it and it’s great family time!

Happy New Year!

Nursing A Toddler

It’s interesting nursing a toddler.  It’s totally different from nursing a newborn or even an older infant.  The older the baby gets, the more active they are and the more interesting nursing gets. Gone are the days Munchkin would just laid there and nurse.  Even though she nursed a lot, it wasn’t hard once we figured out what we were doing.  I loved the milky smiles she would give me.  Sometimes she would wave her hand at me and other times I would give her a toy to keep her hands busy.  

We nurse lying down so Munchkin can fall asleep.  She’ll lay there for a bit but if a kitty comes by, forget it.  She unlatches and wants to go pet the kitty.  I also get fingers in my eyes, nose and mouth.  She’ll pat the mama milk makers and it’s not uncommon for her to pinch me too.  She likes to find my belly button and tickle me.  Munchkin will play with her feet if she gets bored.  The best is when she’s just about to fall asleep and she want to sleep on her belly.  She doesn’t always want to stop nursing so she tries to turn over while still latched.  Let’s just say my body doesn’t do that.  She keeps trying though. 

We now nurse two to three times a day.  Munchkin nurses before she goes to sleep for nap and at night.  Sometimes we’ll nurse in the middle of the night or in the morning when she wakes up.  We haven’t nursed in the middle of the day for a couple of weeks, and even then it was a comfort nurse because she was sick.

I could have weaned her after the Alaskan cruise.  She went a week without Mama milk and would have been fine to stay that way.  I wasn’t ready to be done and she did ask for it so we continued to nurse.  In a couple of weeks The Man and I are going away for a week and a half.  Munchkin will be staying with Nana and once again there will be no Mama milk.  I’ve been thinking that this trip might be the weaning point.  I have mixed feeling about weaning though.  In the middle of the night when she wants a 90 second nurse four or five times, I’m ready to be done.  Other times I’m not so sure.  I’m going to miss it.  I think she could be ready to be done.  I think we’re just going to have to wait and see.

New Mom Survival Tips

I remember being 38 weeks pregnant and just wanting to be being done. I was done waddling, done testing for GD, done not being to sleep, done having to pee all the time, done with people asking me when the baby was coming...I could go on.  I was more than ready (so I thought) to meet my baby.  I was so excited to have her in my arms!  I won’t lie, there were a few times in the first few weeks that I wished I was still pregnant so I could get some “good” sleep.  So with those sleep deprived weeks in mind, here are my tips for surviving as a new mom.

1.  Have breastfeeding support

Breastfeeding is natural but it is not easy.  It can be hard and painful in the beginning.  If you’re planning on breastfeeding, line up your breastfeeding support before your baby arrives.  Attend a Le Leche League meeting, talk with your doula, your partner and whoever else will be around.  If you already know where to turn for questions/support, you’ll be more likely to succeed!  Two great resources for breastfeeding is Kellymom and Best for Babes.  I also highly recommend Nancy Holtzman of Isis parenting.  She’s great at answering questions on Twitter! 

It’s also a good idea to stock up on lanolin and the gel cooling pads as they will help your sore, tender nipples feel better.  If you have trouble once the baby is here, don’t hesitate to ask for help, especially from an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.  You CAN reach for breastfeeding goal!  Again, don’t hesitate to reach out for help or for encouragement!  You don’t need to mommy alone!

2.  Your job is to take care of the baby

During the first 4-6 weeks, your job is to take care of the baby.  Don’t worry about cooking, doing dishes or laundry or any other chores.  Focus on the baby!  It’s ok if it feels like all you do is sit on your butt and feed the baby.  That’s your job Mama! By not trying to do all those other things, you’ll feel less stressed and will be able to enjoy this time more.  If people are coming by, they are coming to see you and the baby, not your house.  Seriously, don’t stress about chores!

3.  Sleep when you can

I know people say sleep when the baby sleeps and while that works sometimes, I know it doesn’t always.  If you can have someone watch the baby so you can sleep, do it!  3-4 hours of solid sleep will make most things better, I promise!  Don’t forget to shower too!  A shower can make you feel human again.  So sleep plus a shower will make you super Mama!

4.  Go with your gut

Trust your instinct Mama.  Even though you’re a new mom, you still know what is best for your baby.  Don’t give up if you feel like something is truly wrong, keep pushing.  YOU are your baby’s advocate!  Even if you feel like you’re overreacting, ask anyway!  Doctors are used to it and it will put your mind at ease!

5.  Feel free to ignore unasked for advice…and even some of the asked for advice too!

You probably noticed that everybody and their brother likes to give you advice when you’re pregnant.  It doesn’t stop once the baby arrives.  Feel free to let it go in one ear and out the other.  Or listen and try it but if it doesn’t work for you, stop doing it.  There’s no need to keep doing something that isn’t working and just causing you more stress! 

6.  Figure out what works for you and DO IT!

When you do figure out what works for you and your family, do it!  For us it was co-sleeping.  I heard so much against it but it works for us.  So that’s what we do.  When it stops working for us we’ll try something different.  Don’t be afraid of doing something different from your mommy friends!

You probably got lots of great things from your baby shower(s) too.  You might not use it all and that’s ok!  For me it was the Itzbeen timer.  I had several friends who loved it and I tried to use it, I really did.  I just didn’t need it.  So it sat, lonely and unused.  It’s also ok if your baby doesn’t wear all the clothes in each size.  Babies grow fast!

7.  Accept help

If you have people offer to help, ACCEPT IT!  People want to help (many have been where you now are) and it will make your life easier.  Swallow your pride and STOP thinking that YOU have to do it all.  You don’t!  Let people help by bringing you a meal, vacuuming your house, loading your dishwasher or doing a load of laundry (they aren’t going to be bothered by washing your underwear, I promise!)

8.  Let Dad be Dad

By that I mean, let dad do stuff with the baby too!  If you’re breastfeeding he can’t feed the baby but he can change diapers, change clothes and do skin to skin.  And please, please, please don’t correct everything he does!  He’s new at this too and it’s going to take some time for him to get used to doing baby things.  However, there is more than one way to change a diaper or give the baby a bath.  Let him figure out his way to do it, even if you think your way is better.

9.  Enjoy.

I know it’s hard to enjoy every moment, and really, you can’t.  It’s hard to enjoy the screaming baby or the vomit.  But when you can just stop and breathe in.  Inhale that newborn baby scent and snuggle in close.  Revel in the newness of life.  

10. Nothing lasts forever

The first 12 weeks are the hardest.  Life will get easier.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  You can do this Mama. 

As a new mom, you have so much joy ahead of you.  Each stage has the good and bad but each is full of joy.  Motherhood isn’t a sprint, it’s a very, very long marathon.  Enjoy each stage and don’t forget to ask for help when you need it.

One more thing Mama….hold that baby as much as you want, you’re not going to spoil them!

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(Semi) Wordless Wednesday

    

Alyssa of Sumiko Ray Photography, a local photographer, held a breastfeeding mini session on Saturday in honor of World Breastfeeding Week.  I love the images from it!  I love that I’ll have these to remember this precious time once Munchkin is older.  From Munchkin trying to nurse on her tummy to her putting her fingers in my mouth,  each one of these images is a glimpse into these everyday moments.  These moments are fleeting and limited and I’m not taking any for granted.

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10 Reasons Why I Love Breastfeeding

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week 2013, I’ve made a list of 10 reasons why I love breastfeeding.  They are in no particular order.  Also, if  you are a not a breastfeeding mom, this list is NOT intended to make you feel bad, or guilty or like less of a mom.  Breastfeeding is something I enjoy and I’d like to share why I enjoy it. 

1. The Snuggles

Oh, the snuggles.  I’m thankful that Munchkin is a snuggle baby.  Nursing enhances that for us.  It allows me to focus on her and not on everything going on around us.  I also love it when she falls asleep nursing.  Even after a year, I love watching her eyes roll back in her head and she drifts off, content in knowing that my milk satisfies her. 

2. Forced Down Time

Breastfeeding Munchkin FORCES me to have down time.  We nurse best laying down (less distractions) so nursing means I have to rest.  I love the time to just rest, relax and focus on Munchkin.  Around the holidays when there was so much going on, it was nice to retreat from the craziness.  Life can get so hectic and it’s nice to have a reason to slow down.

3. Breast is Best for Baby

We’ve all heard that breast milk is best for baby and it’s true.  It’s not just good for boosting the immune system, but also for protecting the digestive system and helping to lower Munchkin’s chances of getting breast cancer and a host of other diseases including diabetes. 

4. Breast is Best for Mama

Did you know that there are health benefits for you when you nurse?  You can lower your risk of getting breast cancer, uterine cancer and bone loss after menopause.   Breast cancer runs in my family so anything that can help lower my risk is awesome!

 

 

5. It’s “Fast”

Nursing, once you get the hang of it, is faster and easier than having to make a bottle.  I can just whip out the boob and Munchkin can start eating. I always have my breasts with me, so I always have food for Munchkin with me.  That’s a good thing, because I was so forgetful in the beginning (who am I kidding, I still am!)

6. No Periods

This is a HUGE plus for me!  I love not getting my period!  I know it differs for everyone but it’s been a LONG time since I had to worry about my period. 

7.  The Ultimate Boo-Boo Healer

Mama Milk is the best way to soothe Munchkin after getting shots or a bad fall.  I haven’t worried about being a human pacifier as she usually only nurses for a few minutes when being soothed. 

8.   It’s Cheap

Mama Milk doesn’t cost us anything!  It’s been nice to not have to budget for formula.  We might spend a little more in produce but since we should be eating that way anyway it doesn’t bother us. 

9.  It Forces Me To Eat Healthier

Since I know I’m making mama milk for the baby, I do my best to make sure I’m eating well.  That includes drinking eight 8oz glasses of water a day (minimum), eating plenty of fruits and veggies and making sure I’m eating enough protein and dairy.  My body will make sure the baby has what she needs so I also need to make sure my body has what it needs to be healthy as well.

10. Nurture

I’m not quite sure how to explain this one but I’ll try.  My body protected and nurtured Munchkin for the first 9 months of her life while she was growing in my womb.  I love know that my body continued to nurture her after and gave her the nutrients she needed to grow and thrive.  It’s also the knowledge that my body was doing what it was supposed to do.  Breastfeeding also gave me confidence as a mom and it helped to heal the hurt of having a c-section.

If you breastfed your baby, what was your favorite part?

 

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YAY, GOAL!

Munchkin turning one and she’s still breastfeeding. This means I’ve reached my initial goal of breastfeeding for 1 year!  I’m so thankful that we’ve made it this far.  It was a little rocky in the beginning and  I’m glad I didn’t give up when I wanted too.

In fact, I was a little stubborn about it.  In my mind, I had failed by having a c-section.  I know, I know, I didn’t but it wasn’t what I wanted and I worked really hard to avoid it.  I allowed that c-section to make me feel like less of a mom and less of a woman.  I vividly remember while we were still in the hospital and Munchkin had lost 14% of her birth weight.  They started her on formula so fast that my head spun.  All I could do was sob.  I must have sobbed for at least an hour feeling like a failure, certain I was going to be a terrible mother.  I was still crying while The Man feed Munchkin formula using a plunger tube thingie and I was hooked up to a double breast pump feeling like a cow.  That was one of my lowest points as a mom. 

After that I was not willing to fail at breastfeeding so it became my personal focus.  I was going to do whatever I had to do to continue breastfeeding Munchkin.  I know that some women do try everything and are not able to continue.  I’m so, so thankful that I was able to.  I’m not sure I would have made it if I had had to go back to work and had to pump.  I hate pumping and I am amazed and inspired by the mamas that work and pump.  I’m so thankful that I have been able to stay at home with Munchkin.  Being able to be a stay at home mom helped tremendously in reaching my goal.  The Man has also been my biggest cheerleader and has supported me every step of the way.  Every time I nurse in public The Man is ready to say something to anyone who says anything mean to me about nursing.  It hasn’t happened yet (thankfully) but he’s ready in case it ever does!

Now that we’re at a year, I have no plans for weaning.  The WHO states that breastfeeding for up two years and beyond is good for mom and babe so we’ll continue for as long as Munchkin wants.  I can’t see either of us wanting to stop anytime soon but you never know.  I think we’ll take it as it comes, though I think I’ll be ready in another year.  I think two years will be enough for me.  I’m really praying she’ll self wean by then!

 

*How you feed your baby is a personal and often controversial issue.  I trust that you did your research and made the decision that was best for you, your baby and your family.  If you breastfeed, you rock mama.  If you pump(ed), you rock mama.  If you formula feed, you rock mama.  If you do any combination of the above, you’re doing a great job mama.  Keep it up!

 

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Breastfeeding In Public

I had an epiphany the other day.  It was the realization that I was finally comfortable nursing Munchkin in public. It might seem small but it means that there is less stress in my life. 

Before I was pregnant I knew I wanted to breastfeed.  Wanting to breastfeed and actually breastfeeding are two different things.  It was a harder in the beginning than I was expecting.  I’ve been “blessed” with a larger top half and it took me a little bit to learn how to get Munchkin to latch.  I have to hold the “sandwich” in order for her to stay latched.  This can make things awkward, especially in public.  Juggling Munchkin, my breast, the cover, and propping her up on my leg took some practice.  I didn’t think it would ever become second nature.  It used to stress me out so much that I would avoid going out.  If I had to go out, I would nurse Munchkin right before we left and would bring a bottle of mama milk with me.  That worked ok, except that Munchkin preferred mama milk from the source. So often I ended up nursing anyway.

When I nursed in public I felt like everyone was watching me.   I used a nursing cover in the beginning but Munchkin HATED it.  I did too, as it was just one more thing to deal with.  I felt like I should be covered because I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.  I also didn’t want anyone to say anything to me about nursing my baby.  How embarrassing would it be if someone told me to stop or to move?  At this point I no longer care if someone says something to me.  WA state law allows me to nurse in public and if someone doesn’t like it, oh well.  If someone does say something they’ll get an earful from me.  Nicely, of course!  The best part is that if The Man is with me, he’s ready to say something too.  I love that I have his support in breastfeeding our daughter.

I think what made it easier was nursing at church.  There’s a rocking chair tucked away for nursing moms.  You can see the TV for watching the service if it’s going on and there are usually only kids and their parents in the area.  I started with the cover in that area, then a blanket and finally nothing.  From there I just started nursing in other places too.  Now I don’t think about it, I just feed the baby when she’s hungry.  It’s nice to have one less thing to stress about.

 

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A Lesson in Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Matthew 6:25-27

I know what the Word says about worry and how we shouldn’t do it.  I must admit that this is an area where I struggle.  I’m a worrier.  Yesterday has been a HUGE lesson and reminder for me on why I shouldn’t worry.

I was worried about three things regarding the colonoscopy:  1). The anesthesia 2). Breastfeeding the baby and 3). The results.  I know I shouldn’t have worried about any of them but I did anyway.  I shouldn’t have!

The anesthesia was a breeze.  The nurse who puts in the IV does multiple ones every day and it was a breeze.  The medicine, once it was put in my IV, worked quickly and effectively.  I did not wake up or if I did, I don’t remember it.  Since I have memories of waking up in previous procedures, this is huge for me.

Secondly, after talking with the certified nurse anesthesiologist I found out that I could breastfeed Munchkin! I was advised to pump and dump when I got home but that I could feed her after that.  The medicine leaves the system pretty quickly and since she’s 8 months old it isn’t a huge issue.  Munchkin was very, very happy about this.  I fed her last around 8.  My procedure was at 9 and we were on our way home at 10. We stopped to pick up a rotisserie chicken for lunch.  We ate once we got home (Munchkin LOVES chicken) and then I took a 3 hour nap.  As I was waking up I heard her fussing.  The Man distracted her with some veggies but as soon as she saw me she started crying! I got a BIG hug and snuggles from her.  Once I pumped and dumped, she happily latched on and did not want to let go at all, even as she was falling asleep.  She’s a happy camper right now!

Lastly, the results.  I thought I remembered having polyps last time I had a colonoscopy (sorry if that’s TMI!)  I thought they had removed them.  I’m not sure if they confirmed that in my records but knowing that I was expecting them to find polyps.  Knowing my dad’s history, I was certain they were going to find some.  I was imagining worst case scenarios, like it being cancer and me dying.  I was already trying to figure out what life events I needed to write letters for to give to Munchkin when they would happen.  Ok, so maybe I can be a little dramatic!  You can imagine my relief when they told me that I had no polyps! Not even ONE! All that worry and stress for no reason.

So I guess the message has been receive, loud and clear Lord.  Leave the worrying to you!

1/3 of the Way There!

I’ve always said that when I had kids that I wanted to breastfeed for the first year.  I’m so excited that I’m 1/3 of the way there!  I’ve been breastfeeding Munchkin for 5 months (ok, so this post is a little late!)

She hasn’t had any formula since those first few weeks.  I know breastfeeding can be hard and I’m kinda surprised that it’s gone as well as it has.  I guess I expected to have more problems.  I’m thankful I didn’t!

There are two issues on the horizon.  One is that Munchkin is teething.  Both of her bottom teeth are coming in.  They are sharp little suckers.  She’s been understandably fussy and nursing has helped.  I haven’t felt the teeth yet while nursing but I’m sure that’s just a matter of time.  I’m hoping she’s not a biter!

Second, Munchkin has started to show an interest in food.  She’ll watch you like a hawk while you’re eating.  It’s funny how intent she is when she's watching you.  We were out to eat and The Man got a steak with fries.  He had Munchkin on his lap and when the plate was placed in front of him, the fries were closest to Munchkin.  She reached for them and grabbed 4 or 5 of them!  We took them away but we did give her one little one to see what she would do.  She put it in her mouth and immediately took it back out again.  She made the cutest yucky face.  She’s not a fan of French fries just yet.   If I’m holding her and I take a drink of water, she reaches for it and pulls it to her mouth.  She really wants a drink of my water.  I’ve given her a sippy cup with a little bit of water in it and she’s not sure what to do with the water.  It ends up down her front.  Since she really doesn’t need the water it’s ok!

I’ve been set on waiting till she’s six months old to start her on solids.  I’m starting to waver a little but am holding off until we see her Pediatrician.  I know they often say to start them earlier than 6 months.  From my reading I’ve learned that starting earlier than 6 months can lead to digestive issues later in life.  As for solids, I’m planning on making her baby food and also doing a little bit of baby led weaning.   We’re going to skip rice cereal and oatmeal.  We’ll start with veggies and fruits and then probably move on to meat.  At least, this is what I’m thinking.  We’ll see what ends up happening!

 

When did you introduce solids to your little one? 

What was first?

Two Months

Munchkin is two months!  I love watching her grow.  She’s smiling and cooing even more now.  She’s also starting to not like the camera.  She’ll be smiling and cooing and you pull out the camera and she stops immediately.  I’m hoping she doesn’t cry like her daddy did but I guess we’ll have to see.

Munchkin is still a super sleeper.  She takes several naps a day and I often join her in the afternoon.  She’s doing well at night as well, usually only waking up once or twice. 

Breastfeeding is still going strong. We often just stare at each other while she nurses.  I love when she smiles at me round the nipple.  It’s kinda like she’s saying “Thanks Mom!”  or “I love you!”  Once she falls asleep I usually have my kindle nearby so I can read while she continues to eat.  I’m behind in the books I want to read this year and I’m trying to catch up.

Sleeping beauty.  I could watch her for hours.

A happy baby after eating.

She’s wondering what her silly puppies are doing.

She was smiling right before I took this…promise!

No more pictures Mom!  People are tired of seeing me!

How We’re Doing

Munchkin has been with us for 4 weeks now and we’re doing well.  It’s been an adjustment to having a newborn but it’s a good adjustment.  She is such a joy and we are enjoying her so much!  We love just holding her and watching her.  She makes the best faces!  We’re just soaking it all in.  She’s changed so much in the past 4 weeks, I just want to enjoy her littleness (is that a word?)

Even though we’re doing well I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been some bumps along the way.  Most notably have been with breastfeeding and with lingering issues from giving birth.

The issues with breastfeeding started while we were still in the hospital.  I thought I was feeding her enough but she kept losing weight.  When she lost 14% of her birth weight they started her on supplemental formula.  I didn’t have any say, it just happened.  All I could do was sob (it still makes me cry to think about it.)  While there is nothing wrong with formula and if you choose to formula feed your child, that’s great. It just not what I wanted for my baby.  They had me pump and I sat there, with two bottles, pumping, feeling like a cow and I had tears running down my face.  I felt like I had failed my baby.  It was so hard.  I got a little milk and thankfully we were able to supplement with that instead of as much formula.  I kept pumping and trying to get enough to not need the formula.  I got there and she has been gaining weight ever since.  We’ve given her some formula since but it has been limited.  There have been a few times when she has drank me dry and she was still hungry so we supplemented.  I’ve gotten more ok with it, especially since she gets way  more breast milk than formula.  I’m so thankful for The Man and my mom, who have been so supportive and encouraging me in this breastfeeding journey.  It may be natural but it’s not always easy.

Part of what made it hard to breastfeed was the physical pain I was in.  I strained my neck while trying to push and my neck and shoulders were so tense for about 2 and half weeks.  There were times it hurt to look down.  It’s really hard to breastfeed when you can’t look down to help your baby latch.  It’s hard to not be able to look at your baby while she’s eating.  I was also experiencing really bad headaches, bordering on migraines.  There were times I was wincing in pain and turning my whole body to look at people.  I was trying to sleep whenever possible as sleep seemed to help. One day I just broke down because the pain got to be so bad.  I really thought the headaches were a result of the neck strain but we now think it a complication from the epidural.  I had a wet tap (while I was getting the epidural I ended up with a hole that allowed the cerebral fluid to leak out and that can result in having a pretty bad headache.  I ended up going in and getting a blood patch (where they take blood out of my arm and insert it into my spine.  It clots and keep the cerebral fluid from leaking out.)  They weren’t keen to do one since it was 2 and 1/2 weeks later but since I was showing the symptoms and had a documented wet tap they did one.  Thankfully it helped and I have been feeling so much better!

So that’s what we’ve been up too.  There have been a few other things and I’ll share those as I get a chance.  My goal is to have at least one post a week but I’m hoping to have more than that!  I’m just going to see how it goes.

Thoughts on Breastfeeding

I have another wonderful blogger for you today!  Please give Rheanna a warm Many Waters welcome (in the form of lots of comments!)  She’s going to share some thoughts on breastfeeding with us. I found her words to be encouraging and I hope you do too!

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Hi everyone, my name is Rheanna and I blog at Cammo Style Love.  I'm an Air Force wife, married in August of 2004. I have three children and we are now East Coasters! I'm a SAHM that likes to watching black and white movies, reading books and crocheting. I'm a total history nerd, which makes living in the greater DC Metro Area a dream come true! I'm also a mom that struggled with breastfeeding.


You know, you dream of having your kids. You think of their names, what they might look like and just how much fun a little snuggly baby is. I did all those things. I thought of how my pregnancy would go, what my delivery would be like and how I would breastfeed. Being an all natural mama wasn't my thing. I appreciated those that went natural in their childbirth, but it wasn't a conviction I had. For the most part that wasn't an issue. Of course, as with all things people felt the need to tell me how they felt and that was fine. I spent time being totally annoyed internally but whatever, to each his own and I tried not to let it bother me. Breastfeeding on the other hand was something that was important to me. It was a conviction and I totally expected everything to be fine. I heard plenty of things about how its wonderful and how good it is for the baby, breast is best, formula is evil and the like. Stuff I'm sure everyone has probably heard. What I didn't hear was the struggles people have. People had told me that they didn't like it, or they didn't want to, but NO ONE spent any kind of time talking about it being a struggle to do.

And then it was. I had inverted nipples, which made latch hard. Not just hard, but HAAAARRRDDD! It hurt, it bled, I cried it was horrible. I kept hearing over and over in my head, "if you're doing it right it won't hurt." And so the downward spiral began. I was doing it wrong, I couldn't do it, what was I doing. Do you see all those "I's" in there? It was a Rheanna Beat Down. Bawling my eyes out in the hospital from exhaustion, and emotions and frustration, was not how I imagined that I would be spending my time post baby.

So, I forfeited. It was only a partial forfeit, but in my head it was a complete one. A failure, that's what I was. All those people that had made their opinions known before I had my son, were there now making those same opinions known loud and clear. And why I could only hear them when I had other people that were so loving to me, including my dear sweet husband, I have no idea. It isn't until you have an issue that you suddenly meet people and learn that other people you know have had that same issue! I couldn't believe it and I began to get slightly more encouraged. We weren't alone out there. I ended up going 100% formula when Brian was about two months old. Fast forward about two years to baby number two. Again, I heard the normal "opinions" being shared. It was easier this time around, but still hard. I got a super de duper pump and pumped and pumped. A friend also shared fenugreek with me.
 
I made it six months! Even still, the things people say will never cease to amaze me. I still believe that most of the mean words came from a place of total ignorance. They don't know, they've never been
there. If they were or had been, they might have kinder and gentler words to say. If you can believe it I actually had people say to me, "Well, you weren't trying hard enough." Those words just cut me to to the quick. One of my all time favorite things was when someone said, "I just can't imagine how God could let that happen?" In reference to my inability to feed my child. Do I really have to argue this point?

Now baby number 3 is 7 months and I'm still breastfeeding more than 50% of the time. I know that I could have done it 100% of the time if I didn't let the stress of things get to me. This time I combined fenugreek with the amazing Mother's Milk tea and saw a huge improvement in my milk supply! I was more focused and dedicated. It hurt less when I started out, which helped. Most importantly I was strong within myself. I really could care less what anyone has to say. I still get a little mad and frustrated when I hear people say stupid things, but it doesn't get me down. Spending my time talking about breastfeeding in a "realistic and encouraging way" has become a focus for me. We have to stick together. Being uplifting and encouraging, and circling the wagons if you will, is the way to be as far as I'm concerned. Maybe the thing isn't the breastfeeding, or the natural childbirth, or the epidural or the formula. Maybe its the fact that women, and mother's have become so divisive. We aren't supportive or encouraging. The rise of the Green Movement and stores like Whole Foods, and the trendiness of it all and the "coolness" of it has, in my ever humble opinion, made things worse. Instead of just letting people be responsible for themselves, everyone is in everyone else's business.

If someone feels strongly about something they feel the need to not only act upon this for themselves but shove it down every one else's throat. You find it in everything - anti formula, anti-disposables, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, natural child birth, healthy eating, no parabens. Its become crazy! Instead of focusing on what brings us together, our children, we've become too focused on all those other things and are becoming more and more at odds with each other. The other day I heard a lady going on and on about cloth diapers and how its so much better for baby because of the toxins and the chemicals and all that good stuff. Found out later, she never breastfed and didn't want to. Fine by me, you do what you want to do. But it was the way she said it. She was so focused on the lecture of chemicals in the diapers that it was confusing to someone who had heard the lecture of the evils of formula. I’m cloth diapering, and I had been turned off by it for so long by the lectures and the intensity of people that I never even wanted to spend time looking at it. It was the kind, loving, every day normal conversations with a dear friend that led me to make the change to cloth. It was the kind and loving words of my husband and another friend that helped me keep trying the breastfeeding with each baby.

I am proud to say that I am a cloth diapering, breastfeeding, baby wearing mama who goes to McDonalds and has a slight addiction to Dr. Pepper. But shouldn't that be okay? Should that divide me from other mother's? If I could wish for one thing for the world, in my most Miss Teen USA voice and with my most beauty pageant-esque smile....I would wish for mother's to band together! To support each other in motherhood. To help each other out with the struggles of raising kids, with working through the different phases. To help each other get through the tough seasons in life when you don't think your children will every sit still and behave! That's what I wish!

If you every have any questions or what to learn more about struggling with breastfeeding and/or cloth diapering come over to Cammo Style Love or email me at cammostylelove@yahoo.com

Welcome to Motherhood

I have some wise words for you today.  Whitney is sharing some of her insights with you.  I know I will be coming back to this post for encouragement!

***

Hi! I'm Whitney from Navy Beans. My story? Well, in a nutshell, I'm a Christ-follower, Navy-wife, Mama to 4 little beans. I have 3 girls (6, 4, 3) and 1 son (18 months).
Hopefully my thoughts on new-mama-hood are helpful.... :)

When I was a new Mama....

....I wish I had taken every. single. person. up on their offers for help.  And used that time to either snuggle my String Bean, or sleep.

....I wish I had slept more.

....I wish I had not resented the lack of sleep, lack of space, complete flip-up of my life. I wish that I had realized this phase of utter-exhaustedness was just a phase. And that it would be gone entirely too fast.

....I wish I had sought out help and advice and knowledge about breastfeeding, instead of thinking I would just be able to figure it out on my own.

...I wish I had listened when my Mom told me that I wasn't going to spoil my newborn girl by holding her all the time.  How I regret those moments where I put her down because I thought I should - not because I had no choice.

Now for some un-solicited advice to all you New Mama's out there (I like to think I have the stretch marks to make me credible!)......

I wish I had known the exhausted-beyond-belief-phase would be so brief.

When you are in it, those first 6 weeks are absolute torture.

You don't really sleep. Your body aches. You are mentally and emotionally drained by trying to learn a new human being that only cries. You wonder if you are doing anything right.

Are they eating enough?

Are they eating too much?

Is sleep bad?

What does that cry mean?

and on and on....

You can be plagued with doubt. With fear.

Realize exhaustion is not the end of the world. You will sleep again one day! It just won't happen for about 6 weeks. Not that you will sleep THROUGH THE NIGHT in 6 weeks....but you will either adjust to constantly waking up, or finally get one long stretch of sleep. (Which in newborn world, is about 4 hours.)

I promise you - in just a few short months, you will feel like a pro. Unfortunately, a pro in motherhood does not mean you are an expert. It does not mean you are perfect. It means you love someone more than you thought humanly possible. It means daily living with the needs of someone else before your own. It means constantly going before the Lord and asking Him for wisdom and grace.

Be specific.
This is a pet peeve of mine. When it comes time for people to bring you food - don't say "Oh! We like anything." If, in reality, you hate Mexican food. Because, odds are, you are going to get a whole lotta Mexican dishes. No one wants to put the time and effort into making a meal someone will loathe and/or not eat.  If you are particular, tell people exactly what you like!

You are not being a Diva.

You are being considerate.

Stock up of one-handed snacks
You will be holding a baby, rocking a baby, feeding a baby, diapering a baby, and kissing a baby, all day long. At some point, you need to eat! I buy a pack of large tortilla wraps and load whatever I was planning on eating into that. I have eaten stir-fry, casserole, chicken Cesar salad, (and everything in between!) in a wrap.  I throw a receiving blanket over the baby to catch any falling food, and eat. That way I don't waste time eating, when I could be sleeping! (Straws are actually great too. Less accidental mess on baby.)



Hug and snuggle your baby constantly. Wear them if you can!
I don't know what I would have done without my sling for those first 4 months. I folded laundry, put away groceries, did dishes, shopped, read stories, cleaned the house, went on walks, and even nursed with my sling! It is a life saver. If you have a munchkin who screams like their arms are being ripped off when you put them down - get a sling. Seriously. It often takes 2-3 days for them (and you) to be fully comfortable in it...but it is worth the effort! (I also use the Baby Bjorn and Snugli as they get older)

Sleep.
Seriously, don't sacrifice a chance to sleep. Use paper plates to save time on dishes. Let the house be a bit dirty. Don't go all over the place with the new baby. You need, really NEED, to sleep. So does baby.  You are not being selfish or a wimp. You are being an excellent Mommy.

You are taking care of yourself and your new baby - so take a nap.

Leave the guilt at the hospital.

Hydrate.
Drink more water than you thought humanly possible.  Twice. (Especially if you are breastfeeding)




Give your husband your vote of confidence.
He is just as nervous about becoming Daddy as you are about becoming Mommy!
He needs to know you are in his corner. He may will do things differently than you, and that is okay. He may not know all the things you have learned about newborns. Allow your husband the space to learn how to hold your little girl. Enjoy how he communicates with her - he doesn't have to do it like you! They will bond - but most of that depends on you. You need to share what you know in a way that builds him up.  My Love always went with the nurse to observe the first bath - and then when we got home, he taught me how to do it.

Ask for help/take people up on their offers.
One of the most valuable gifts I ever received? Folded laundry.  My Love knew I was overwhelmed when our 3rd was born...

(I mean, I did have a 3 1/2 year old, 19 month old, and a newborn, so that was probably obvious to everyone.)

...so he asked a friend to come help me out. While #3 and I were napping, my friend came in and folded my laundry, washed my dishes, and left dinner cooking on the stove.

I cried like a baby when I woke up.

With my first, I thought I could do it all. So I didn't reach out for help - I didn't ask for it, I didn't accept it - and I greatly regret that decision. It is such an amazing gift to be helped. Assume the person offering actually does WANT to help you! Let them go to the store - run an errand - bring you dinner. There is no shame in needing help.


Ask for help.
Yes, I know I already said this. However, now I'm talking about the really uncomfortable stuff. If you need help with breastfeeding - ASK FOR HELP.  Do not think you are a failure or incompetent. It is hard work. Breastfeeding is a very natural thing - but it does NOT come naturally. It takes a lot of support to be able to succeed. (And if it doesn't work and you end up using formula - you are not a failure then either.)


Ask for help if you are unsure of something with your munchkin - if they aren't sleeping well or spitting up or crying constantly. You are NOT a failure for needing help. EVERY mama needs help with their children! It does get easier as you get to know each other - but seasoned mama's have a larger arsenal of tools than a brand new one. AND they are actually sleeping at night. Seek their advice - you don't have to use it, but it will be so helpful to have.

Cut your body some slack.
You may be one of those rare people who slips out a baby and then *BAM* looks just like your pre-pregnant self. If you are - I may just have to start throwing things at you. If you are like the rest of womankind, be prepared for some serious jiggle. Your body just went through the war...don't expect it to look like your old self right away.  AND THAT IS OKAY. Personally, I avoid full length mirrors for at least 4 weeks after delivery....unless the lighting is really favorable and my milk has completely come in. That is actually not an unappealing silhouette. (This is all coming from a woman who gained a good bit of weight...55/55/35/25....I know about jiggle.) Try to remember that the first 3 months after having a baby - your hard work is not working out. It is learning that person; developing into "Mom;" learning how to breastfeed; understanding how your baby communicates; figuring out how your family works; even how to shower every 24 hours!

You will be able to work out again -

but allow yourself the space to prioritize other things for a little bit.

Above all - cut yourself some slack.
You will not be perfect. You will make mistakes. You will have regrets.  But eventually, all of these anxious moments will melt and you will realize motherhood becomes you.  That doesn't mean you will suddenly be secure in all your decisions - it just means that although you will not always make the right decision, you are always seeking to make the best one possible.

Welcome to motherhood...

the most exhausting, rewarding, challenging, amazing, and refining, role there is.

~Whitney
Copyright 2012