A Chapter Closed

Last fall Munchkin and I flew to MA and drove cross country with my mom to move her out here Washington.  She’s been living with us while her house has sat vacant, waiting for a buyer.  She’s had to drop the price of the house, a lot.  It’s much lower than she wanted but after several months she has a buyer.  She’s been patiently waiting for closing day so she no longer has to worry about and pay for the house.

The House

I was three when we moved into my childhood home.  I remember the first night in the house.  My parents put me to sleep on the hardwood floor in what would become the dining room.  I fell asleep as they carried in box after box, late into the night.

My bedroom was next to theirs so they could hear me if I cried.  There was only one window and really dark.  The room had an eve in it and my grandfather put in a skylight for us.  After that, my room was really bright, even in cloudy weather.  I loved it growing up.   Pink was my favorite color when I was three and of course I picked a pink rug for my room.  I really wanted all pink wall paper but my mother, in her wisdom, refused (she hates pink.)  I ended up with floral wallpaper that had pink in it but also had blue and some other colors.  As a teen I was very thankful my whole room was not pink and it was no longer my favorite color!

I played Barbies and talked on the phone with friends for hours in that room.  I had countless sleepovers talking about the things that girls talk about growing up: nail polish and fashion and boys.  I graduated high school and returned from college to that room.  I moved to Asia and moved back into that room for a year when I returned after three years. 

It’s hard to think that that house will no longer by my mom’s house. I hate that my daughter will not know that house, the house that I grew up in.  Practically I know the house, with close to two thousand square feet is too large for my mom.  I still wish there was some way we could keep it.  I know it’s just a house but it was home for so many years.  I know I will always be welcome in any house my mom has because it’s my mom and NOT the house that is welcoming.

The last night was spent similar to the first, sleeping on the floor.  We had air mattresses this time and it was my mom, Munchkin & I.  I didn’t sleep as well as that first night in the house, but Munchkin did.  The sleep of babes is sweet and deep.  She won’t remember that night in the house but I will.  It means a lot to me. I’ll cherish it as I look forward to making memories with my family in a new house.

Road Trip 2013- MA & NH

After a year and half, The Man & I convinced my mom to move to the PNW.   We’re well aware that it was the baby that was the big draw.   I’m so glad she’s going to be around so she can be involved in her life and able to help out, especially as more little ones arrive. So Munchkin & I flew to MA so we could drive to WA with my mom.  This was going to be my 4th cross country road trip in 4 years.  It’s a good thing I enjoy driving and see the United States!

We arrived at Logan Airport in Boston about 8 am and headed to my mom’s house  The baby and I took a nap for a few hours.  After that there was some last minute packing up to do in the house and then we had to load the moving truck.  It took two hours to load the storage unit onto the moving truck.  I’ll be honest, I wasn’t much use as I was trying to keep the baby out of the way.  We had dinner with friends and then it was our last night in the house.

The last night was spent on air mattresses.  I didn’t sleep much.  I was awake for the majority of it and 2am found me crying in the kitchen.  I’m sentimental and selling the house is hard emotionally for me.  I know it’s the right thing to do but it’s still hard.  I walked around the first floor just taking in each empty room, letting my mind wander back in time and relive memories.  I eventually managed to get a couple of hours of sleep.

There wasn’t a whole lot to do the next morning, just pack up the Jeep.  There wasn’t much food in the house so we decided to go out to breakfast one more time.  We went to the local cafe.  We sat near some guys I went to high school with (though I didn’t talk to them, I did recognize them).  Then the parents of my childhood best friend walked in.  It had been years since I had seen them.  We caught up for a little bit and it was a nice way to end our time in the town.

  Once breakfast was eaten and the Jeep was packed, we headed to the Keene, NH area to see my Aunt.  It’s only two hours away so it was a very short day but Munchkin & I were exhausted.  We also wanted to spend some time with my Aunt as we have no idea when we’ll see each other again!  I spent a lot of time in the area where she lives as a teenager and I wanted to say goodbye and see it one last time.  There’s always the chance I’ll make it back there but you never know.

 

*I decided to not post about September 11 this year but that does not mean I have forgotten.  Forgetting is impossible.  Instead of writing something new, I’d like share the post I wrote for the 10 year anniversary.  I’ll be praying for those affected, our country and remembering that day 12 years ago. 

May Things to Smile About

May was a great month and I can’t believe it’s gone already!  Here’s a recap of the things that made me smile:

Munchkin

This little girl ALWAYS makes me smile, even when she’s a cranky pants girl.  She’s getting so big! She turned 10 months in May and is becoming such a big girl. She’s a joy and I’m so thankful I get to be her mama.

Child Nutrition and Cooking Class

I’ve been loving this free class offered on Coursera.  I’ve learned some great new recipes that I’ve enjoyed trying.  I always knew that cooking was better and this class has been a great reminder.  I’m taking our menu planning much more seriously now and am doing my best to make sure that we can eat in a healthy way.

Trip to MA

It was short but great trip.  We were able to get the ball rolling for my mom’s move to the PNW.   We had dinner with friends and I was able to have a play date with friends. It was fun because my friends and I met before most of us were married and now we’re all married with kids.  The kids make it a little harder to talk but they are so fun!

Munchkin learning to walk

I’m LOVING that munchkin is walking.  She’s so proud of herself! I love watching her learn new things.  She’s amazing and I’m looking forward to her talking.

New Loveseat

Our sofa just wasn’t working for us.  It was no longer comfortable and it smelled like dog. So we decided to buy a new loveseat.  We got a reclining one and we love it.  We still have the old sofa and now that puppies are allowed on it.  We have super happy puppies!

Warm Weather

The beginning of May gave us a taste of summer weather.  It was in the high 70’s with clear blue skies.  It made the cooler weather that followed a little hard to handle.  It was nice while it lasted!

Bountiful Baskets

We’ve been using Bountiful Baskets for about  months now and we love it.  I love being surprised by the veggies we get. I love having to be creative with what we get. I love that it makes The Man try new veggies! The last basket of the month was one of my favorites so far. There were plums, mangos, pineapple, bananas, a melon,  green beans, swiss chard, romaine lettuce, carrots, onions and cherry tomatoes.

Farmer’s Markets

May is the beginning of the Farmer’s Market season in Kitsap County.  I love going to the Market.  So far we’ve been to the Port Orchard one a couple of times. It’s been fun to just walk around and enjoy the amazing weather we’ve been having.  I even managed to replace the rosemary I had that died.

House Hunting

We’re not house hunting for us but for my mom.  The Man and I enjoy looking at property so we’ve been driving around trying to find houses for mom to consider when she comes out in July.  She won’t be buying until her house in MA sells but it’s fun to look!  We’ve found some cute neighborhoods that I think my mom will like.  I’m looking forward to seeing the inside of some of them soon!

My Husband

He’s amazing and he always makes me smile.  I’m so blessed by him.  I can’t imagine being married to anyone else.

 

I’m linking up with Emmy over at EmmyMom.

Boston

The Boston Marathon bombing and the manhunt for the second suspect hits close to home for me, as it does for so many of us. I grew up in Southeastern MA, about 40 minutes south of Boston in a town on one of the many commuter rail lines.  In high school for French club we’d take the train into the city every year for a French meal and to roam the city.  I grew up with family in the city and have great memories of the city.  Boston is one of my favorite cities on the world.  While I’ve intellectually known that something like this could happen anywhere, it’s still a shock for it to happen at home.

I’d like to share a letter that was written by a high school classmate, Monique.  On Tuesday, April 16 she visited the finish line of the Boston Marathon and left a letter with flowers at a growing memorial on the corner of Boylston and Berkley.  She’s a mom and training to run a marathon.  She sums up what I think so many of us are feeling. 

An Open Letter to Whomever Bombed The Boston Marathon:

1) You attacked an event that includes 27,000+ people that have the mental fortitude and physical prowess to run 26.2 miles. Many train for this chance their whole lives. Chances are most of them are a lot faster than you.

2) You attacked Massachusetts on Patriots Day, a day we commemorate our patriotism and how our ancestors were courageous enough to take on the British Empire to fight for our freedom. In case you missed it, we won that one against massive odds.

3) You killed an 8-year old boy and put a 3-year old in the hospital. Every parent in the country is now looking for you.
To sum up, you happened to target a group of super fast, mentally -strong, courageous, freedom fighting patriots who are now hunting you down.

Sleep Well Tonight.

As I write this, Boston has been put on lock down and are asking people to shelter down in place.  I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in the city or even in the state today.  One thing I know…the suspect, the 19 year old man will be found.  He will be brought to justice. Boston and it’s people are strong.  Boston will remain strong.  This will just make them stronger.

* I waited to post this out of respect for the people involved.

Insert Interesting Title Here

I know I haven’t been posting very much.  Munchkin and I were in MA for two weeks.  I was busy showing off my daughter to friends and family.  We had a great time but I’m glad to be home.  There’s something so nice about coming home to your own stuff after being away.

Even though I have been writing very many posts over the past few months, I have been thinking about posts.  I think about what I want to write and even compose paragraphs in my head as I go about my day.  Then I sit down and I can’t get the words out.  They sound so much better in my head.  So I start a post and never finish it.  I can no longer finish a post in one sitting anymore anyway, since Munchkin normally needs my attention before I’m finished.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving being a mom (have a blog post started on that.)  Priorities have changed and I’m still figuring things out.   What I really need is technology to take my thoughts and turn them into blog posts.  Or maybe I just need to invest in a voice to text program.  Someday I’ll get all the blog posts written…hopefully before Munchkin goes to college!

Dear Munchkin

Dear Munchkin,

Happy three months baby girl!  You're a growing girl and as much as I miss you being small and snuggly, I'm loving watching you get bigger and learn new things.  I loved watching you when you found your foot.  You just stuck it out and stared at it.  I'm just waiting for you to try to get it in your mouth like you do your hands.  You love sucking on your hands and it's not unusual to see you trying to fit them both your mouth at the same time.

You're doing great eating and sleeping.  You have a doctor's appointment once we get home and I can't wait to find out how much you weigh and how long you are!  Your 3 month sleepers don't fit anymore so it's into the 6 month ones.  Some 3 months close still fit so we're transitioning into the larger ones.  You are a much loved and spoiled little girl as we had two different friends give you clothes here in MA.  Mommy didn't have to pack you anything!  Of course Nana also bought you a few outfits as well as some adorable leg warmers.  I'm not sure when I'll need to buy you cloths.  It's great that we love hand me downs.

You're doing great meeting so many new people here in MA!  Everyone thinks your adorable (which you are.)  Thank you for not crying when people you don't know hold you.  I know your sleep schedule is messed up but you're doing ok with that too.  Mommy's so proud of you.  I have to laugh though, at the fact that I have to fight with your Daddy to push your stroller at home and in MA I have to fight with your Nana.  I often joke that it's a good thing I breastfed otherwise I might never get to hold you.

I love being your mommy.  I love seeing your bright blue eyes first thing in the morning.  You're such a happy girl.  I can tell that you're going to like to talk.   You bring such joy to your Daddy and I.   We can't imagine life without you.

Love you lots,
Mommy

THAT Mom

Ever since I told my mom I would travel to MA with Munchkin I was nervous about the plane ride.  The closer it got the more I started to worry and stress about it.  I knew that there wasn't a whole lot I could do. Baby girl is 3 months and while I can do my best to keep her from crying, let's face it, she's a baby and babies cry.

So I did what I could do to prepare.  I dressed her in a onesie and leg warmers for easy diaper changes, had the ergo for easy carrying in the airport and we booked a nonstop red eye flight (to be honest, it was our favorite flight without her.)  I was also telling myself that I could only do my best and if she cried, she cried.  As a friend pointed out on Facebook, it's not like I'm ever going to see any of those people again.

So we get to the airport and we have a little extra time so we headed to the USO so I could nurse Munchkin.  Once we headed to security there was no one there so I was able to walk right through.  The TSA people thought she was adorable and of course I agreed.  I didn't have to wait to long to board and we got settled.  We were in the extra space seats on JetBlue and the extra leg room was nice.  It would be nice if they also made the seat a little wider but oh well.

I was in the window and just after I sat down the passenger in the aisle sat down.  I waited nervously to see who would be sitting in between us.  Thankfully, the flight wasn't full so no one was there!  Even better was the fact that the row in front of us was empty and the lady moved up to that row.  I don't think she was all that excited to be in the same row as a baby!  I enjoyed having the whole row to myself.  It was so nice to be able to spread out and have baby stuff in the seat next to me.

Munchkin did well but as we started taxiing, Munchkin started to cry.  She cried as we took off.  I was going to nurse her to help with her ears but she didn't want to.  Her ears didn't seem to both her which was nice.  She cried during take off and after about 20 minutes of crying she fell asleep.  I was so thankful I was only THAT MOM with the crying baby for a short time.  She also wasn't the only kiddo crying so I didn't feel quite so bad!

She slept the whole flight.  My arm fell asleep and I needed to use the restroom so after about 1/2 way through I put the ergo on and it helped a lot.  She woke up right before we landed and I was able to nurse.  She was a happy baby and that made me really happy.  I was holding her up to my shoulder and patting her back after we landed and all of a sudden she threw up on me.  It got on my  shoulder, back and on my pants.  It just made me smile because when I was about a year old and flew with my mom, I threw up on her.  I was prepared unlike my mom (YAY for learning from her!) with an extra shirt.

Overall, the flight went so well.  I'm hoping that the flight back home isn't full either because the extra space was so nice!  As for being here in MA, it's been fun so far!  Nana is a happy camper and getting lots of munchkin snuggles.

Not Surprised

I got a phone call today.  I wasn’t expecting it but it didn’t surprise me.  It was from my mom and she had bad news for me.  A close family friend lost her battle with cancer today.

I called her Auntie growing up even though there is no shared blood.  When I was 9 I spent the summer with her.  I got to swim in her pool and and read her daughter’s Nancy Drew books (she had them all in hardcover.  It was a book lover’s dream!)  Auntie and Uncle bought a cottage in Cape Cod and Uncle  redid it.  It was gorgeous when it was done and I loved visiting them there.  As I got older they would let me borrow it for a night or a weekend.  The summer I worked on Cape Cod they let me bring some friends to relax.  Auntie was giving and fun.  You knew that when you spent time with her you’d end up laughing.  As for the giving aspect, after they bought the cape house they decided they didn’t need/want their pool anymore.  I had asked them if they ever decided to get rid of their pool if I could have it.  They had said yes so guess what?  I got the pool!  My parents were ok with it and we had it for a long time.  I remember being in shock because who gives away their pool?!?  At least that’s what a 10 year old thought.

In the past few years we haven’t been as close but they still hold a special place in my heart.  I’m sitting here, trying to figure out what I should write.  I have nothing though.  I’m still in shock.  I knew she was sick and not doing well.  I wasn’t expecting this though.  I just expected her to get better.  My heart is hurting for her husband,  daughter, son in law and grandchildren.  I know that they were close and I can just imagine the pain they are feeling.

Since they (whoever they are) say that death comes in threes and this is the third death in September, I’m hoping it’s done.  And I’m very, very ready for September to be over.

Blessed

While I was in MA my cousin and mom threw a baby shower for us.  It was a gorgeous Sunday afternoon.  I knew that the baby shower was happening and at what time but I knew nothing else.  Well, I knew some of the people who would be there but other than that, I didn’t know the theme or décor or the games or anything.
It was a wonderful time with family and friends.  My cousin knows how much I love to read so in the invites she requested that instead of cards they bring a book instead.  Just about everyone did and now we have a wonderful start to a library for Munchkin.  I can’t wait to to read to her! I’m very much looking forward to sharing my love of reading with her.  The monkey decorations were also adorable and I love them! The colors and the monkey fit right in with Munchkin’s nursery theme.
I felt very loved.  Not that I ever questioned it but when you live on the other side of the country and you don’t see everyone all the time, some relationships suffer.  I am so thankful to know that family and friends are excited about Munchkin and support us. 
Now for the picture overload!

The food

Yummy homemade cupcakes with cute picks.

Super cute bunting that I brought home and am hoping to have hanging in the nursery to welcome Munchkin home.

I know I have a funny face but I really was listening! My cousin put together a devotion based on Munchkin’s name.

We got books! Lots and lots of books!  This is one happy mama!

Munchkin’s first bank.  It’s a sheep (or a sheepie as I was calling it.)  I love sheep so it’s perfect! Nana did a great job picking it out!

A super cute jacket (the whole outfit is cute!) for Munchkin.  Summer in the PNW can be chilly so it’s perfect!

My 9 year old niece has started sewing and she made me a pillow case.  For Munchkin she made a little pillow and blanket. I’m thinking they will be perfect for her fist baby doll!

Mom and I.  She’s super excited to be Nana.  She’s a great mom and I know she’s going to be a great Nana!

Some of the books for Munchkin’s library

*All photos courtesy of Shelby.  Thanks for taking pictures!

MA Trip

I’ve been home about 2 weeks from MA and I haven’t told you about it at all!  I had a great time.  In an effort to not leave anything out, I’ve made a list of things that I did while I was there.

1.  Ate yummy New England food. 

There are just some things I can’t get in the PNW, like a good Italian sub.  I crave them and I was so happy I was able to have a couple while I was there!  I also got in pizza from Papa Gino’s and the local House of Pizza, Chinese food and Sully’s.  SO YUMMY!

2. Spent time with my mom. 

My mom and I are friends and I miss our hang out times.  It was so nice to be able to just spend time with her!  We didn’t always have something planned but even just trips to Target are fun.  I’m so glad she’ll be heading my way soon!

3. Spent time with friends.

I love my friends in MA.  I was able to connect with many of them which was nice.  I was able to hang out with J, my friend from college and meet her new son S!  A day was spent on the Cape with C and her son M.  I miss these ladies so much and we make due with Facebook, email and phone calls but it’s not the same.  It was nice to have some face to face time. I can’t wait that next time out east I’ll have munchkin and she can play with the boys!  I also got to spend a morning enjoying the gorgeous weather at the “park” With my friends A, K and E and their kids. 

3.5 Met a bloggy friend for dinner

I was able to meet Jodi from Jodi Bean’s Blog for dinner one night. I love meeting bloggy friends in person!  We had a great dinner and dessert (ice cream, what else?!?) You can check out her post on our meeting.

4. Spent a weekend in Plymouth, MA for a retreat

It was fun to spend a weekend with women from my old church.  We learned a lot and were also very silly.  Good times, friend, good times!

5. Got a prenatal massage

After I fell, mom got me a prenatal massage.  It was the BEST massage I’ve EVER had.  Chandra, the masseuse, was amazing.  She was so good and even longer than she was supposed to.  I would definitely go back to her again!

6.  Spent time with family

One of the hard things about being so far away from family is that I don’t get to spend a lot of time with them in person.  I miss that a lot.  I spent a few days in NH with my Aunt, cousin and her family.  It was so much fun.  It was a little bitter sweet since my cousin & family is moving to Michigan soon and I don’t know when I’m going to see them again.

7. Got my hair cut

I’ve been going to the same hairdresser for about 15 years now and there’s no one else I trust with my hair. I learned this the hard way! I love that I can walk in and tell Kim what I want and she does it.  It works just fine that I’m not in MA that often as I usually only get it cut about once a year anyway.  She did a great job this time, as always!

8. Looked at lots and lots and lots of baby stuff with mom

It’s fun to plan and dream about a new baby.  It’s fun to do it with mom.  We reminisced about when I was a baby all those years ago.  I was able to get my christening gown for Munchkin to wear and some of my  baby blankets and sweaters.  

9. Enjoyed 70 degree weather!

I very much enjoyed the nice weather.  It was sad that the morning I woke up in my own bed back in WA, there was snow falling.  Not a fan of the snow…I  much prefer the nice weather!

10. Was blessed by a baby shower

Munchkin and I were showered with love at a baby shower.  It was so nice to see everyone.  We were blessed with many books for munchkin (I can’t wait to read them to her!) and clothes and blankets.  I even managed to get most of it home.  Just the books are left in MA and mom will bring those when she comes out.  My favorite part was the advice I was given.  Even my 9 year old niece had advice for me! I know I’ll be looking through the advice when I’m at my wits end.

That’s a recap of my two weeks in MA.  I hope you enjoyed!

Munchkin Update

I’m almost 23 weeks and munchkin is doing well.  I’m finally showing!  The picture is me at 20 weeks.  I’m a little bigger now.  I’m also feeling her kick and move, which I’m enjoying a lot!  I love feeling her moving around.  We’re still waiting to be able to feel her from the outside but I think it will happen soon. 

With being able to feel her kick came the feeling that this is really happening!  I mean, I knew it was and hearing the heartbeat and seeing her on the ultrasound made it real but feeling her every day…that’s REAL.  I love it!  I’ve also been talking to her and that’s so fun.

So I’m finally enjoying being pregnant!  It’s so nice not being nauseous and wanting to eat.  Some foods, like bananas are no longer appealing.  However I’m enjoying OJ, grilled cheese and ice cream so I’m not complaining.  Even though I don’t look big I can tell she’s there.  Munchkin made the plane ride to and from MA a little uncomfortable.  I wasn’t able to get into a comfy position since I usually pull my legs up.  I couldn’t this time cause she was there!  I was very glad to land so I could walk and stretch out my legs.  Having an aisle seat on the return trip helped.  I’m thinking next time I’ll try not to fly while pregnant!

One thing that wasn’t so great is that the first week I was in MA I fell down 4 stairs.  It was snowing out and it was slippery and down I went.  I was feeling fine and went with my mom to her appointment but she was still worried.  So I called my doctor here in WA and they told me I should go to the ER to be monitored.  Fun.  So off we went.  I didn’t get nervous till the nurse in the ER had a hard time finding the heartbeat.  He had the fetal monitor hooked to ear things so I couldn’t hear anything and wasn’t sure if he was finding it and losing it or just not finding it.  He found it eventually but then she kept moving and he couldn’t count it so he got a different nurse to go it.  They thought she was fine but they sent me up to Labor & Delivery to be monitored anyway.  The best part of this was that Nana was able to hear the heartbeat!  She loved it.  It was strong and steady and we could also hear her moving.  She was pretty active, especially once I had some OJ.  It was so relieving to know that she was ok.  I didn’t get really upset until after when I couldn’t get in touch with The Man.  I didn’t hear from him till almost midnight.  That was hard but I was thankful that I finally did hear from him. 

I think that’s it for now…how are you doing?

Home (Again)

As the plane was descending into Logan International Airtport, I realized how happy I was to be going home.  Once again I started thinking about the word home.  There's something about being on an airplane that makes me contemplate this word. 

I think it has to do with looking out the window as we fly over the city.  Flying into Boston is familiar.  All of my international journeys had their final end at Boston.  Logan isn't the prettiest or cleanest airport but it's comfortable.  Driving out of the airport is familair too and I enjoy taking in the city while observing what's changed.



Boston (Source)

When I talk about visiting my mom in MA, I often refer to it as home.  It is, afterall, where I grew up.  My mom still lives in the house that we moved into when I was 4.  It's a big, old Victorian that needs ton of work but has lots of charm.  It's way too big for mom alone so she's shut off the top floor.  I knew walking in that things would look different.  They did look different but it's still home.  I'm still comfortable and able to make myself at home. 

 

I'm so thankful that I have two places I call home.  So in a couple of weeks you'll hear me talk about going home and I will be.  To the one I've created with my husband.  I'm blessed and so thankful that I have two places I can call home.

 

Where do you call home?

Do you have more than one place?

2011

2011 was quite a year.  There was good and bad, both of which God used to continue to shape and mold me as a person and also my marriage.

The year started off well with The Man continuing to work on his sobriety.  It was a time of change.  His schedule was a bit crazy and continued that way into February and March.  I didn't love how busy he was with work, helping coach basketball and rehearsals for a show he was in.  There were days that I barely saw him! But we got through it and and April was much better, especially since the show, Sweeney Todd was running. It was a great show and I'm so glad he did it!

May brought a TDY and The Man was back out to sea.  I missed him while he was gone but the time apart was good for us.  He enjoyed being back out and I enjoyed having some time alone too.  And of course, homecoming is always the best part!  We also enjoyed June and July cause we worked on our very first garden.  We were so excited to grow and eat our own veggies!  We are eagerly awaiting spring so we can garden again.  We've already been talking about what we're growing this year...

One of the many house projects

August was good to us.  Looking back, I'm glad it was!  We managed to fit in a trip to Disney Land.  We wanted to go at least once before kids so we could enjoy it just the two of us.  Once we got home we bought a new truck, which we are still enjoying and getting a lot of use out of.  In order for The Man to do the projects he wants to around the house, it's much easier having the truck to haul supplies and debris & trash after!

September started off great with a camping trip.  We hadn't been camping in about two years and were really wanting to go, so we carved out Labor Day weekend for a trip to a nearby campground.  I thought I had posted about it but I guess not.  I think it got overshadowed by what happened next.  I headed to the East Coast cause my dad was in the hospital.  I was going so I could help my mom out and be there when he got home so he wouldn't have to go to a rehab facility.  It didn't turn out that way.  Instead of returning to his earthly home, daddy went to his forever home.  The pain for us is horrible but knowing where daddy is helps.  It also helps knowing that I'll see him again.  I'm looking forward to that!  From daddy's homecoming did come some good.  One good thing was the opportunity to see friends and family and make more memories with them.  People and relationships are so important and I don't like to waste any chance I have to spend time with the people who are important to me!  The memories we made make me smile.

Joey hugging Dad

Our family expanded again with the addition of dad's dog Joey.  We love him but he's been a little trying at time.  We're working on discipline and listening and he's getting better.  He's so much more fun and enjoyable when he behaves!

At the end of October mom came for a visit and while she was here we got some great news!  We found that we were pregnant!  Even though I didn't share with you until December we knew at the very beginning of November.  Morning sickness, fatigue and other fun symptoms have hit and I'm very much looking forward to the second trimester.  Even with not feeling the best, we had a wonderful Christmas.  We were blessed with great gifts and enjoyed spending time with most of The Man's family.

And how could I forget?  We managed to get down to Eugene for a Ducks game.  Not just any game but the Civil War!  I love going to games at Autzen.

And even more importantly, The Man got one year of sobriety in November.  This is huge and I know it wasn't easy.  I am so proud of him for this accomplishment!

2012 is going to bring even more change to our family.  We know what some of them are but know that there are many surprises in store for us.  So we go into the New Year thankful for each other and our families and friends and we know that nothing that happens will surprise God.  He'll be there with us every step of the way.

Namesake

Back in the day I had to pick a screen name for my AOL account.  After some thought I chose Poekitten, after our cat Rosie.  We would call her Rosie Posie and after a few years her nickname got shortened to Posie and then to Poe and Poekitten.  

The original Poekitten

The real Poekitten is 16 years old and she lives with my mom.  I wanted to take her but mom wouldn't let me.  She said I left Poe behind when I left for college and when I went to Asia.  Poe lives with Dale Thomas, DT for short.

Dale Thomas, aka DT aka "The Most Handsome Boy in the World"

DT is a 22 pound orange tabby cat.  I think mom favors him but she insists that she doesn't.  I've tried to convince her that Poe would be happier living with Edgar and Allen but she says no to that too.

A side story:

In fact, Poe is the reason I have Edgar and Allen.  We had had to put down our dog and a cat had died.  I was living with my parents and I wanted to get a kitten..or two.  One cat was ok with Mom and Dad, two was not.  I looked and looked and found Edgar who was being called Butch.  I wasn't going to call a cat butch...and I wanted to be able to call him Ig.  So I decided on Edgar.  Since we had an Edgar and a Poe, we had to have an Allen.  I managed to convince dad (he was the holdout) to let me get another cat by agreeing to help clean the cat boxes and to let him pick out the kitten.  He picked the Alleycat out and we've had Edgar, Allen and Poe ever since!

As much as I'm going to miss Poe and DT now that I'm home, I'm glad to get love from Edgar, Allen, Molly and Joey!

And just in case you're wondering, DT was a cute, cuddly kitten.  Here's the proof:

Soothing

The memorial service for my dad on Saturday morning was good.  I had been dreading it but it was good to remember and see people that loved him (and love us).  There was a time for sharing memories and stories about dad and that was very touching.  By the time we finally left after the meal, I was more than ready to leave.  I was so exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally.

My cousin, who I am very close to and is more like a sister, brought her oldest three kids.  They loved their Uncle.  J was having a hard time with daddy's death and when I walked in and went over to here, so came right to me.  I wasn't expecting this as she is 5 and I've seen here once in two years.  She just cuddled into me and let me hold her.  She even warmed up to The Man though she was very shy at first.

Several family members came back to mom's house after.  I escaped the people by going outside with the kids and climbing the great tree out front.  My parents had the tree planted when I was a kid so I never got to climb it but it's been great for these kids.  We have pictures of the oldest in the tree when he was 2...and of him out there ever since.  At 11 he has no fear while climbing and his 8 year old sister followed right behind him.  The Man and I even got up in the tree.  I didn't go up very far but stayed low with the little one.  The Man went up and enjoyed some time with the older kids.  After tree climbing the two girls and I went for a walk around the block.  I really enjoyed this time as I was able to connect with them.  I miss these kids so much.  It did my heart good that they didn't forget me and wanted to spend time with me.

The Man and the boy in the tree

A little girl in the tree

Look at me!

After the walk I snuggled up to The Man on the sofa.  Football was on, the kids were on their DS Lights and Leapster chatting away to us and people were in and out of the room.  The Man and I managed to snooze for about an hour.  It was the most refreshing sleep I've gotten in a long time.  I'm still waking up tired and that nap just felt so good.

Later that night The Man and I went out for a date night.  It felt nice to do something normal.  We went to the Wrentham outlets and walked around.  We talked and talked.  We had dinner at Ruby Tuesday's.  We love their salad bar and wish there was on in the PNW.  We talked some more and made some decisions.  We're excited about what we decided and while I'm not going to tell you at the moment, I'll share soon.

The Longest Day

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Today has felt so long.  Time is moving so slowly and yet, quickly at the same time.  Daddy spends most of the time asleep now.  Because his liver isn't functioning, toxins are building up in his body and it is shutting down.  This morning he did open his eyes several times and was able to answer questions, like if he was ok, in pain and if he wanted something to drink.  And by answer I mean mumble and nod.  As the day progressed he took longer to answer and sometimes doesn't respond at all.  This evening hasn't been that great.  He's been a little restless and is coughing.  It's hard. So hard.

I was ok this morning.  It's gotten harder as the day has gone on.  It's hitting home more, that he's dying.  I'm having a hard time picturing a future without him in it.  Tears are always close to the surface.  My mom told me jokingly that I would have made a wonderful professional mourner back in the day.  I'm a crier and no one is surprised by this.  In the sorrow there is joy and peace.  I am so upset for me but overjoyed for dad.  His pain and suffering will soon be over and I KNOW that he will be in a better place.  If I didn't know that I would be a wreck.  There are moments when I don't know how I'm going to get through this.  My heavenly father keeps reminding me that his grace is sufficient and that I can do all things through Jesus...that he is my strength.  I know I can't do this on my own.  Thank you Lord, that I am no alone.

A month ago my parents were kayaking.  When Mom brought Dad to the hospital 2 weeks ago we never thought this is how it was going to turn out.  We've taken him to the hospital so many times that the idea that he was this sick wasn't on our radar.  The doctor did tell us that this is one of the best ways to go.  He's going to be sleeping more and more and at some point, he's not going to wake up.  It's pretty painless.  I think it's harder on us.  We're taking care of him and waiting.  Just waiting.  It's so hard to do.





My thoughts are a little all over the place.  I apologize if they are hard to follow.  I wanted to write some of them down to help me sort through them and so I'll have a record.  I have a feeling that looking back on this is going to be a little bit of a blur.

Philippians 4:13

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. 

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Dad update

Thank you friends, for your kind comments, encouragement and prayers.  They mean more to me than I can say.  A thank you seems too simple but that's all I have.  Thank you.

My mom and I headed into the hospital early today (Sept. 14) so we could talk to the doctor about dad.  Let's just say it isn't good. We're not surprised.

Yesterday they were hoping to place a larger stient in his liver. They were unable to do so. There is blockage in the "tubes" that run from his liver to the intestines. This is causing the bile to just sit there. He's on antibiotics to fight infection which is always a possibility when you have stagnet fluid in the body. They were hoping to get a biopsy yesterday nut the doctor did not think it would be a good sample so they are going to try again today.  A previous sample of cells were abnormal so a biopsy will tell us more.

Due to dad's history, there is a very good chance that his cancer has returned.  We were told years ago that there was a good chance it would show up in another organ; I'm thankful that it has taken awhile to happen.  The doctor has not told us that it is cancer for sure and they don't like to use that word unless they are positive but given his history, the likelyhood is high.  Mom and I were not surprised by this as we've been expecting it.
Expecting to learn it's cancer doesn't totally prepare you though. Even though we don't know for sure and won't for 48-72 hours, we having a feeling. One of those gut feelings. He's pretty sick.  Yellow is not a very becoming color on him. 

Thankfully they were able to do a biopsy today and get a good sample.  So now we're waiting to get the biopsy results.  Once the results are in the doctors will have a better idea what they're dealing with and will be able to make a game plan to deal with it.

We're still praying for wisdom for the doctors and peace for all three of us.  Dad's still in pain but has been hungry so we're thankful for that.  We're also very thankful for the nurses.  They have been wonderful and I'm thankful for their compassion and professional care of my daddy.  Another prayer request would be for traffic; it takes us at least an hour and a half one way due to traffic...it's hard and tiring.

Small Town

I'm in my parents house in the town I grew up in.  We moved here when I was 3.  I went to school from kindergarten through high school here.  This is where I came home to from college and from Asia.  I worked in the middle school I attended for three and a half years.  This place is comfortable.  I've been gone for two year but the back roads are still familiar.  There have been changes but nothing huge.  A girl I went to high school with opened a consignment shop in town and I stopped by to see it; she recognized me and we chatted for a bit.  This is "home."  I think this song is very fitting:

Small Town by John Melloncamp

Don't forget to head over to Goodnight Moon to link up!

Dad

If you're not a personal friend of mine on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, you may be surprised to learn that I'm in MA.  I made an unexpected last minuted trip home due to my father's health late last week.

My dad was admitted to the ER on the Friday before Labor Day with a fever and high sugar levels.  Being a  diabetic, that's a problem.  They diagnosed him with an infection.  They kept him until late Monday evening and then sent him home.  He had a follow up appointment on Wednesday and they admitted him again.  I asked my mom if she needed me to come out and she immediately said yes.  I got online, found tickets, rearranged life in WA and was on a plane heading East in less than 24 hours.

I asked knowing she was going to say yes.  I'm so glad I came.  I didn't realize just how bad dad is.  I'm at complete peace about being here.  My parents need me right now.  Dad was so happy to see me.  My mom is slightly less stressed with me here.  I'm able to help shoulder some of the burden and she is feeling a little better.

When I first saw dad I was shocked.  He's jaundice and I have never seen anyone this yellow.  He could almost be called a glow worm he's so yellow.  You can't tell in the picture but he really is yellow.  He's also in a lot of pain and is very tired.  His color has gotten a little better during the past three days I've been here which is nice.  However he hasn't been feeling better which is a little discouraging.

Dad's been sick for about 22 years.  He's survived cancer three times- colon cancer twice and pancreatic cancer once.  It's a miracle that's he's alive.  The medical community cannot explain why he's still here.  Now his liver is failing.  He has cirrhosis due to his illnesses and medications.  We knew this was coming one day.  It's just very hard now that it's here.

He'll be getting a liver biopsy so they can figure out if the mass in his liver is a tumor or if it's just an infection.  There's also a growth is his stomach that they'll be biopsying.  They are using the word cancer so it's a possibility, one that doesn't surprise us.  His cancer has been going from organ to organ so it makes since that the liver might be next.

We're praying for doctors to have wisdom as dad has is procedure, comfort for dad that he will find relief from the pain and peace for Mom & I as we wait for results and wisdom to figure out what is best for dad (along with what he wants of course!)

Thank you for those of you that have checked in with me to see how he's doing and for your prayers.  Thank you for coming along side of us.  It's so hard to see a love one sick and knowing that others are praying means a lot.  Thank you.